I don't know what to do

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1 Comment

My car was totaled from a rear end collision. I'm not getting any money from my insurance. My car rental ends tomorrow

It's going to cost 588.24 to rent a car for a week, which will help me deliver and get me income, but the 300 deposit was unexpected and I haven't even calculated how that will affect my budget

I live too far to walk to work. If I can't get a rental I'll have to get a new job, but even at 12 an hour that's basically only just my bills, on top of which it will probably be 3-4 weeks to get a full check, by which time my rent will be late

I've gone through numbers and options and I can't figure anything out. My boss said he might be able to help me with the deposit, but like I said I haven't even calculated the extra expense of a 300 deposit for a rental.

My next check is already gonna be short from normal since I missed three days of work last week due to not having a car and trying to go through the insurance of the person who hit me, but the cop said it's a not at fault accident since the other driver lied and there were no witnesses so that was a bust

I have to give my rental back tomorrow. My next check is due next, not this, Friday. Making tips from deliveries while making my in store, not driver, pay without a 300 deposit was going to help me pay bills and combine some money with the new stimulus check to get a down payment for a car together

I can still deliver tomorrow night but I have to give the car back by 11:59, and then pay for an Uber home, but at best I think I would make 80-100. I have 326 in my account and I can withdraw 100 dollars from my plasma card with a 1 dollar purchase. So at best that puts me at 526, but I'll also have to put more gas into my current rental before returning it since it's already half full, before doing deliveries with it tomorrow

I have a 65 internet bill due on Friday, 35 to my mechanic, and I'm hoping I won't have to pay my insurance on the 24th of 222 or maybe it'll be reduced without a car, and if I don't have it I don't know what that might affect with the rental. My rent of 1100 is due on the 1st-5th and I've got a few other little things that add up to a hundred or two

I just can't figure out a plan I'm confident on. Maybe if my boss does help me and I get the stimulus quickly, maybe it could work. I'm just so scared about becoming homeless without a job or a car. I don't see how I can recover from that. I don't see how I can pursue my goals. I don't see how I can be satisfied with my life. All I can see is rage quitting life. Just get drunk or high and something painless. That's the only thing I feel like I can become confident about. I've dealt with suicidal thoughts since I was a senior in high school. I don't want to kill myself, but clinging to life living in the wilderness with no money, equipment, skills, I just don't have it in me. I would be constantly hungry. I would be filthy beyond comprehension. My clothes would fall apart before the year ends. I can rationalize how ending it would be saving myself. I can't rationalize how to recover

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Based on 2 votes (1 yes)
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Comments ( 1 )
  • applepiedreams
    2 years ago

    I read your text and really wanted to go back to read another one because I know that I am not the right person who can give you an actual solution or help in any way and am afraid to say something wrong. Just know that life is always worth living, it sounds awfull but i think its true. You never know what tomorrow will bring to you, heck you dont even know what will happen in the next second. I'm sorry if what I am saying doesnt make any sense.
    Please do not see drugging yourself as the only way out of your situation, I understand how this is a convenient solution, but it will make things worse.
    If you have friends or family please reach out to them and maybe ask them for help. I believe there is always good in people. Have trust in yourself, you can make this work

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