I don't know if i love him, but i can't break up with him. iin?

7 Comments

My boyfriend and I have been together for two years now. Everyone who meets us, or knew us before (with the exception of two of my friends) says we're perfect for each other. He repeatedly tells me that I'm his everything. He's built his world around me. Every aspect of his life has to do with me. Not in an obsessive way. So don't freak out. We have always been affectionate, loving, playful. But... When we met I was kind of immature. Through the course of these two years I've grown up. A lot. I've decided on a real career, gotten serious, and even changed my wardrobe a bit to look more grown up so that I looked the same way I felt. But. He didn't change. Not that he needed to. But, he's still kind of immature, he's stuck in this naive world without real bills. I mean, he has a place (with two roomates), a car, two jobs. But he still depends on his mom... A lot. Not that I don't, he just does it more than I think he should.
Getting to the point. Over the last few months... I've gotten increasingly annoyed with him. His mannerisms, his jokes, the way he behaves, some of his wants (a stuffed animal from a video game). Once I snap on him, I play it off like a joke, because I really don't want to be mean to him. I just can't help it.
I don't want to leave him because... I have feelings for him. We've broken up once for, four hours, I'm telling you the literal time. I was a complete mess. I regret it a lot. But, now... I want to be able to flirt, and mingle, date, and be free. But I want the security of him. But I don't know if I can stay in the same relationship and be so unsettled. He doesn't let me drink, do any drugs (not that I want to, I'm just saying), nor does he trust me to even GO to a party. I want to have a life. But I want to have somebody.
I want to stay with him. But I don't want to be angry and on edge all the time with him.

What do I do?
Are these feelings even normal?

Break up 37
Stay together, it's a rough patch 21
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Comments ( 7 )
  • joybird
    12 years ago

    This is why you need to go out with someone for 3-4 years before considering marriage or babies. People 'grow' over time - either together or in different directions.

    You need to move on!
    Start by breaking his rules. While he's playing his little video games go to the parties with other friends. If you want to, find another man and then dump him.

    It's up to you but I wouldn't waste another day with someone that didn't make me laugh. I'm older than you and one day you will realise what a waste of time this is!

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  • Alison89
    12 years ago

    You say you've matured a lot in those two years, but you still don't sound very mature.

    When you say you snap, then play it off like a joke, that sounds like someone who is really passive-agressive.

    You probably should break up with him. Then go out and mature yourself some more and try to find someone who possesses the qualities you're looking for rather than trying to change someone to be what you want.

    You say he won't "let" you do things and doesn't trust you. That doesn't sound like a healthy relationship to me.

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  • Nancy_willington
    9 years ago

    Ask if he feels like you are drifting apart. If he feels the same way, then you should brake up. If he says he still loves you, try drifting apart from him. Don't just dump him and break his heart

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  • NeuroNeptunian
    12 years ago

    This is kind of what people mean when they say "we grew apart" in a relationship.

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  • Google1
    12 years ago

    Break up you not doing him no favors by waiting
    And do it quick

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  • pandabear1209
    12 years ago

    Trust me, once your single you won't miss him for more then a few days. Being single is awesome and everyone should have that time, then you can meet a nice mature guy later on after you have had time to enjoy your freedom :) I say break up and move forward.

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  • lc1988
    12 years ago

    I don't understand. If you don't see a future with him then break up.

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