I don't insert myself in my sexual fantasies

83% Normal
7 Comments

I am a female, 21 years old and a virgin. I can't insert myself in my sexual fantasies, I always imagine other people having sex (gender composition not important, although I prefer women/women). I watch a lot of porn and I enjoy watching it but I could never be a part of the act. It's not like I'm watching through a peephole or anything, I'm just not there at all lol. And the things I watch are typically not things I want to do in real life, it's usually something "forbidden" or taboo to me. I've tried masturbating thinking of guys I've had crushes on but it just makes me uncomfortable. I can and like to daydream about it otherwise, just not when I'm masturbating. This has caused a lot of confusion for me and it seems most people insert themselves in their fantasies. It also makes me wonder if I'll enjoy sex at all when it comes down to it.

TL;DR: I enjoy watching other people have sex and get pleasure, but I can't get off to the thought of myself doing it with someone while masturbating.

Voting Results
83% Normal
Based on 40 votes (33 yes)
Help us keep this site organized and clean. Thanks!
[ Report Post ]
Comments ( 7 )
  • Protagoras
    7 years ago

    I do the same thing, I have fantasies that are considered taboo (female domination) but I never imagine myself as part of them.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    0
    0
  • Terence_the_viking
    7 years ago

    Whoa that sounds trippy.

    Like you are on the outside looking in.

    Do you masturbate to your fantasies like while you are watching people have sex in your head.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    0
    0
  • Ass_gas
    7 years ago

    You need a deep massage backrub. You've got a long way to go to get loosened up.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    0
    0
  • Tempest-au
    7 years ago

    An interesting post. I presume your inability to put yourself into the fantasy probably has something to do with the fact that you have no experience sexually. How can you imagine the feeling of intercourse when you have never experienced it?

    Doesn't seem like anything to worry about though.

    P.S. Next time you are masterbating, try imagining it's another woman's hand doing the work. If it doesn't make you feel uncomfortable like the thought of a guy does, you might want to consider the possibility you are a lesbian.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    0
    0
      -
    • ihavenoidea1
      7 years ago

      I don't really see me being a virgin the problem, I'm guessing a lot of kids imagine having sex and getting off to it. Hmm, I don't think I'm a lesbian. I've only fallen in love with men and dreamed about having sex with men. I've tried masturbating to the thought of being with a woman but it feels equally, if not more uncomfortable.

      Comment Hidden ( show )
      0
      0
        -
      • Maid_in_Pink
        7 years ago

        I think it's important to note that the psychology involved in todays world is a bit more than we had once thought. We have sexualized so much and people who are virgins(which is NOT a bad thing) are left feeling out of the loop, they are left with this feeling of not belonging and it drives them down deeper roads to anxiety and even to full blown depression. Sexual fantasies and removing yourself from them could be a sign of psychological distress and a feeling of lack of self confidence and even a lack of ability to be wanted and lead to feelings of abandonment.

        Now the real thing to consider is that you don't fall under any of those criteria there are many other possibilities including things like hormone imbalances that lead to negative sexuality impacts and even just the basic notion of some people don't want to fantasize but DO want to be a part of an actual act.

        In any case It's not abnormal, lots of people like fantasizing about other people having sex or just fantasize about a person or type of people and not themselves. So in any of the cases it's really not an abnormal thing but if you are feeling blocked out of a societal norm I encourage you to find a friend and talk with them and understand that just because society is crammed full of sex doesn't mean you have to be...and yes...the phrasing was intended :D

        Comment Hidden ( show )
        0
        0
      • Tempest-au
        7 years ago

        Well, I'm all out of ideas. Personally, I don't think it's anything to be worried about.

        Comment Hidden ( show )
        0
        0