I don't feel right

42% Normal
16 Comments

I just started feeling like this about 2 years ago or less. When I talk to people they act awkward or look like they don't want to be around me,and sometimes I'm even ignored.
I feel alone alot and don't feel comfortable around anyone. When I enter a room I feel like the mood is dying. When people smile at me it doesn't seem real. Maybe my facial expressions look weird or something. I never feel comfortable or happy. I feel stressed out all the time. Im constantly thinking and they're never good thoughts.
Sometimes I even feel unreal. I feel like this for great periods of time. I forget alot of things as well. Im sensitive sometimes and very annoyed others.
I want to conversate with people but I feel like I dont want to hear what they talk about
other times I try to avoid people.
I also feel guilt for long periods of times.
I regret alot instead of thinking Im just living. It upsets me extremely Im not perfect.
I don't have any wants or expectations anymore I just feel empty.
I focus too much on thinking any thing I do is pointless because I will to die.
Which causes me to think I don't want to live because by me never doing anything will hurt and anger my family more than suicide.
The only thing I want is to feel different than this. I've lost creativity and alot of good emotions. Whats going on?
Does anyone feel like some of this is normal?

Voting Results
42% Normal
Based on 62 votes (26 yes)
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Comments ( 16 )
  • Myghoul2099
    8 years ago

    i feel sick...

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  • RedSheep18
    13 years ago

    I know this may not be the place to say this but I couldn't help thinking it when I came across your story. I'm a Christian and I believe that God made everyone of us with a desire to be with him in our hearts. I also believe that when we feel empty, that this is him prompting us to look for him. Often we try and fill that emptiness with other people, movies, food, tv, books, alcohol, drugs, anything but I believe that the only way to feel whole is to start to get to know him through his word and his son Jesus. I've often felt how you have, especially after my father passed away, and I've found that just picking up a bible and reading some of the New Testement really helps me to feel whole again. It's your choice ultimately, but I think it would really help you.

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  • sjean
    14 years ago

    You need a different dr. It does sound like depression and maybe anxiety. I have these issues frequently. I've been on anti depressants for 10 yrs plus. I still get these feelings. I feel like im always having to put on an act around people and this is exhausting! Makes me just not want to be around other people.

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  • Parkourist
    14 years ago

    I serious thought while reading this that my thoughts were appering right before my eyes,I dnt know what to do,well as of money wise I can't afford medication.

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    • deepthought33
      14 years ago

      Health insurance woes have a lot of people in trouble I am sure. I am one of the lucky few. It is only through the military that I can have my health needs met to include therapy. A couple years ago, as a college student, I utilized their free services on campus. I believe many schools have programs like that.

      If you're still stuck in a bind I believe some googling is in order. Here are some names you can start looking up. J. Krishnamurti, Paramahansa Yogananda, Ernest Holmes, Joel Goldsmith, Deepak Chopra, Eckhart Tolle, Byron Katie and Abraham-Hicks. Maybe one of them will pique your interest, help you see things in a new light, help you help yourself. I found the list on a book review and started researching for myself like crazy.
      I'd love to see anyone get help through their depression even if they can't afford to do it the clinical way.

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  • Parkourist
    14 years ago

    I feel for you,it's real hard living with depression n on top of that I have my mothers Insomnia,so I have a lot of time to think.....it's really hard an my dad doesn't take me seriousley,I dnt know what to do either,well I know I should go to a doctor but I'm from a very poor family n we dnt have health insurance so it's real hard for me,I'm rarely at home cus I'm alone there a lot so I'm always with friends or my fiancé.She really helps me feel better but as soon as I get home I just feel empty again,I have no idea what to do,everyday seems like the same as the next nothings changing,an feels as if nothing ever will.

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  • deepthought33
    14 years ago

    When I finally took the step to get myself into therapy it didn't take long for them to see that I was pretty depressed and everything in your post I could have written because it was all so true for me.
    I'm really glad you are seeking help. Keep going until you find someone.
    One other thing I have been doing is researching online.
    For me it is also a bit of a spiritual quest because I suspect my depression stems somewhere from there but it could still be beneficial for you to see just how much power your thoughts have over your life and how people react to you.
    I have realized that the more I thought all those horribly painful thoughts the more they literally became true.
    I just feel the need to put a couple names out there for you to google (possibly only because they are the ones I am currently studying :P ). Bryon Katie and Ernest Holmes. It is totally not my aim so don't be thrown off or anything that Ernest is some kind of religious scientist but he says some of the same stuff I have been reading over and over again in many other places. http://ernestholmes.wwwhubs.com/holmspeaks.htm.
    My hope is that, along with counseling and possibly medication, you find something that inspires you to take some action in yourself to slowly start turning your mindset around...lol and this is from the mouth of someone who was told she was severely depressed :)
    Best of luck!

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    • johnathanwolf
      14 years ago

      thank you so much all of you

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  • Cheds
    14 years ago

    This is a classic case of depression. These are textbook symptoms. :(

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  • Lockets
    14 years ago

    Maybe for some reason you have real depression and a doctor will be able to help you. Don't be afraid to ask for professional help.
    Maybe you could print off your post here and just hand it to the doctor when you see him/her. No need to say anything if you are nervous, just let them read it then they will do the talking and questioning.
    Good luck.

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    • PoisonFlowers
      14 years ago

      What Locket's said. It's probably a load of other things mixed in with depression for good measure.

      I can't say it's normal, but I understand many of your feelings. I've also lost my ability to feel anything good and to be creative for quite a few years, but it does come back. All of these "issues" seem to strangle it.

      If the only thing you want is feel different from this, then hang on to that.

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    • johnathanwolf
      14 years ago

      thank you

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      • Lockets
        14 years ago

        You are very welcome. Have there been any developments? Best wishes.

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        • johnathanwolf
          14 years ago

          my doctor didnt even listen to me he was a dick
          and I really wish I could get on some medication

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          • Lockets
            14 years ago

            Well, you have made a good first step by actually seeing a doctor. Just a shame that he was a bad doctor. You need to see another one and say that you need medication. Keep on trying, please.....

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            • johnathanwolf
              14 years ago

              thank youu

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