I don't care about anything

64% Normal
6 Comments

Hello, please excuse my grammar I'm from Czech Republic :)
I'm really worried about myself. I lost my grandpa a few years back and I didn't cry nor felt sad at all. My parents are currently getting divorced. It's really tough for my mom because my dad is practically psycho and is acting horrible towards all of us and that has been going on for my whole life. When I don't see my parents or sister for a while I don't miss them. I don't miss my friends when I don't see them. Recently I got into my 3rd more serious relationship and I cant't seem to care about anything that has happened in my life. Sure I can cry during a sad movie or when I listen to a sad song but the last time I cried because of something in my life that wasn't on tv screen was 2 and a half years ago. I don't consider myself loving or hateful. I just don't have opinion on anything and I'm nice towards everyone. The only thing I really care about is my wellbeing and that I don't upset people. I know that sounds really bad. It's not really bothering me - the feeling of wrongness got me into writing this thing. I'm horrible person and noone can notice because I don't want to spread my emptiness.
Thank you everyone who read to the end :')

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64% Normal
Based on 11 votes (7 yes)
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Comments ( 6 )
  • Sadperson
    6 years ago

    Sometimes I'd like to be like that. But not for long.

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  • alienslayer
    6 years ago

    I'm like this too, I've been like this for months, I didn't cry at my uncles funeral who died a few months back, I was told as a child I shouldn't cry too much and I wasn't told how to express my feelings which is why I express them on my arm because I'm mentally numb

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  • Grunewald
    6 years ago

    Some people can't feel strong emotions because they were told as kids that it's not appropriate to feel. I couldn't mourn my grandad who died when I was 11 because my mum turned very domineering after his death and my grief always seemed to offend her no matter what I did - either I was grieving too little or too much for her liking. I ended up becoming numb. Kids who have their emotions controlled or deprecated like that often do, I believe.

    In the end, I realised that I hadn't really been grieving my grandad at all, the person I was grieving, if I was grieving anyone, was my mum - I was frightened and hurting and I just wanted her to act like a mum to me again.

    Could this be similar to your story?

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  • victoriaXsecret
    6 years ago

    OMG i feel the EXACT SAME way!! everything you said was 100% how i feel. i'm going to boot camp soon so hopefully that changes it.. maybe idk but i already know i won't miss anyone tbh lol everyone talking about how they're gonna miss me & im just like... okay... me too? lol

    Message me please? I wanna talk about this. I thought I was the only one who felt like that.

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  • Grangletras
    6 years ago

    Dude, I had the same problem, except it was longer and more extreme (not my situation, but my lack of being able to cry) I just couldn't cry. I thought I was broken or turning into a psychopath, and, eventually I just accepted it. BUT!!!! To my surprise, as soon as I fell in love with someone who loved me back, it was all better. Now I cry almost all the time. Its liberating. What I am trying to tell you, my friend, is that if you stick through it till the end, shit will get better I PROMISE, like yes. Bad shit will always be just around the corner, but you can bounce back from that shit. Its all in your mind and how you perceive things.

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  • Zorak
    6 years ago

    https://youtu.be/JagzGOr5AhI This video is about self acceptance and self love. I hope this helps.

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