I don't belong here.

I try my hardest to fit in, but everywhere I go I feel like anything I say will be the wrong thing to say. I fear sitting next to my mother in the car, because I feel she will criticize me.

I am not normal. People are afraid of me, its my eyes. Grayish blue green. I feel like I don't fit in. People ask me if I'm a vampire. There's a girl on my bus who will recoil if I look her in the eye.

My mind is messed up. The voices inside of my head lead me into crap I don't mean to get into. Most my teachers hate me.

I never wanted to be a princess. Ever since preschool I wanted to be a vet. The only living things I feel truly comfortable around are animals. All of the neighborhood cats and dogs know me, and one dog tries jumping the fence to say hi every time she sees me. I've been bullied for this.

Is there anyone else out there like me?

Voting Results
68% Normal
Based on 47 votes (32 yes)
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Comments ( 18 )
  • thegypsysailor

    Christ on a crutch, girl, you sure are paranoid. All these people (children mostly, not people) can't really be that interested in poor little you, to have such strong feelings about you, especially as you don't seem to like or be friends with any of them.
    Anyway, the horrors of high school will be over one day and you can then seek out others who might find your eyes interesting and you attractive.
    Why worry about a bunch of human beings that are immature, self centered and shallow?

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  • I don't think any of this isn't normal other than you are a bit self-conscious and that you happen to be around critical people. Those issues are probably related. Many people feel closer to animals and that is very normal. The eye thing sounds like either all those people don't like eye contact, or you're self-conscious about it and they aren't reacting as strange as it seems.

    It sounds like this may be more other peoples problems than yours.

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  • handsignals

    I'm a creep, I'm a wierdo, what the hell am I doing here, I don't belong here..

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    • disthing

      Also beat me to it...
      Damn you handsignals.

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    • kingofcarrotflowers

      Beat me to it

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    • shuggy-chan

      The one Radiohead song that bearable... in small doses

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      • handsignals

        Have you heard their OK Computer album? It's got a few good songs on it.

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  • kingofcarrotflowers

    A grayish blue/green? You're eyes sound beautiful not something to be scared of.

    As for the rest of the post I wish I had some advice for you but a lot of yourself criticism and anxiety reminds me of myself and problems I have yet to solve

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  • Dot123

    You are forever alone.

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  • Llamabob1357

    I can relate. Oftenntimes people see me as a “mysterious” person and therefore don’t wanna come near me. I have long black hair and bright silver eyes, so it is sorta creepy. I think it’s great that you want to be a vet, we always need more people like that in this world. I think you feel comfortable around animals because it’s something you’re passionate about.

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  • MasterMc124

    Just ingnore them, for me at the age of 14 people told me I was a vampire because I had some sharp teeth (At that time I don't know why I got attracted to people that had the necks exposed). Sometimes I found bites in my own arm, I discovered that it was me when I was sleeping 'cause I was dreaming about food. (Pretty sure you don't want to know what kind of meat). Then the FREAKING HAIR, at that time when I woke up my hair was messed up kinda like Goku form Dragon Ball Z. People told me to do the Kamehameha shit. Maybe one the shittiest year I had.

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  • Holzman_67

    you belong here baby, you just gotta start believing it

    find the things you are good at, that make you happy and either continue doing them or start doing them

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  • LizardSkin

    Yes I was just like you in grade school. But then again I have a who's who of personality disorders so yeah, welcome to the dark underworld normal people don't see nor understand e.g. this dope who posted above me.

    Get comfortable because it doesn't get easier.

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  • Caryopteris

    I remember my sister saw a psychiatrist with eyes that bothered her. They were very light blue, and seemed to be hard and judgemental. To talk to him she couldn't look at him. He wanted to know why, and she told him it was his eyes. Then he seemed down because he said he'd been told that before.

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  • ViolenceAgainstTheState

    You might be amazed how many people feel exactly the same as you do. I don't think there's anything weird or odd about you. It's a stage of life and people older than you have been through it too, even if they're pathetic enough to pretend they haven't and so make you feel bad about your reality and suggest that you are somehow an outsider.

    Keep going. It does get better. I promise.

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  • I'm not death-staring or anything. Today alone this person yelled at me for looking in her general direction, and another person told me my eyes looked like a werewolf's.
    It gets annoying.

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  • Mister_Nobody

    Don't try and fit in. Just do what you do best and get on with life. That's the conclusion I came to after years of being branded as the weirdo and the monster, in spite of efforts to ressemble my peers. Now that I couldn't care less what people think of me, they actually seem to have more respect for me. People will notice if you want to be accepted by them, and use it as a weapon against you.

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  • handsignals

    My advice is: more productive
    comfortable
    not drinking too much
    regular exercise at the gym (3 days a week)
    getting on better with your associate employee contemporaries
    at ease
    eating well (no more microwave dinners and saturated fats)
    a patient better driver
    a safer car (baby smiling in back seat)
    sleeping well (no bad dreams)
    no paranoia
    careful to all animals (never washing spiders down the plughole)
    keep in contact with old friends (enjoy a drink now and then)
    will frequently check credit at (moral) bank (hole in wall)
    favours for favours
    fond but not in love
    charity standing orders
    on sundays ring road supermarket
    (no killing moths or putting boiling water on the ants)
    car wash (also on sundays)
    no longer afraid of the dark
    or midday shadows
    nothing so ridiculously teenage and desperate
    nothing so childish
    at a better pace
    slower and more calculated
    no chance of escape
    now self-employed
    concerned (but powerless)
    an empowered and informed member of society (pragmatism not idealism)
    will not cry in public
    less chance of illness
    tires that grip in the wet (shot of baby strapped in back seat)
    a good memory
    still cries at a good film
    still kisses with saliva
    no longer empty and frantic
    like a cat
    tied to a stick
    that's driven into
    frozen winter shit (the ability to laugh at weakness)
    calm
    fitter, healthier and more productive
    a pig
    in a cage
    on antibiotics

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