I don’t know where to find friends

Take your interests online and google things like “bowling teams near me”. Since you are working through anxiety issues, try to pick activities that have small groups or offer independent activities, but in a group setting - like an art class.

Friends? Those things that stick by you until you screw up or something happens and then they leave promising to keep in touch with you and then never returning your texts only to meet up at some function after three years acting as if they didnt abandon you and y’all are still family then saying I’ll call you but never they call you again and you end up wondering if it was something you said or something you did and then feeling lost in abandonment?

Yeah, I found a couple of those easily. I was suprised to find out how common they were.

Same.

I am way better now, since I can at least find friends, but it's still very awkward for me since at snack table I always stay silent while others are chatting and causes loads of noises.

I just can't. It started very early.

When I was in kindergarten, I did not know how to make friends or talk with people unless someone comes to me and asks, "Can we be friends”.

So at the time, there was this girl whom I wanted to befriend, but I did not know how to express my feelings.

So I looked at her and imitated her every move and repeated everything she said. Then she was like, "Why are you imitating me?"

I was tongue-tied, and I forgot how to speak. Eventually I did not manage to tell her that I want to befriend her. I just said, "Um..."

And at the time, I remember when there was a few kids playing a game. I wanted to play with them but I was too shy to speak out. I just couldn't do it. So I spent around half an hour staring at them before I actually got the courage to go and say, "Can I play with you?"

It really took me a lot of time and effort to get to the level I am at now. I'm still not good at socializing, but at least I can make friends and I can now talk to people fluently.

I'm probably still worse than average in terms of social skills, but it's already great improvement for me.

work is a good place to find friends.

I've made friends at school, work, or through traveling. But if there are activities you enjoy that can be done with others I believe this is another way.

I think to have these thoughts about it being difficult, and it needing to happen, make it too stressful and more difficult.
I would recommend to just enjoy whatever the activity is and see what happens.
I'm sure you will figure out what to do.

Honestly, just find someone you really like. Most of those groups have shallow friendships, so dont feel bad if you dont relate to them.

Also, dont be scared to find friends. You can join groups without problem. You are what you are, you have no need to change who you are to please others. You'll eventually find someone you closely relate to.

Hell, even if you dont, "you have a friend in me" :)