I don’t know how to deal with heartbreak?

He was my first proper date, we dated for 3 months and spoke for a month before that. We saw each other every Saturday... after the third date he said he didn’t know if we’d have time for each other... but he kept texting like normal... we text everyday. So I questioned him... and he said he didn’t know if he was ready for a relationship or not.. he said he enjoyed seeing me and liked me.. so we had a fourth date and he said he was sorry for all that he said and done and said he was glad we made it work... by date 8, I asked if he wanted to see more so I went to his on a Thursday. The Wednesday before he said he couldn’t wait to see me. And Thursday was amazing he didn’t want me to leave (we live 45mins away from each other)
I went again on the Saturday but since the Thursday I was worrying I wasn’t showing enough affection... I’d nudged him a time or two and sat close but I’d never grabbed his hand or knee or whatever and he’d only put his arm around me a couple of times but me being socially awkward and shy and my first time I just froze. Saturday was a good day though. We both said how the time we have isn’t enough etc.. he seemed quiet on text the Sunday though. He even mentioned buying me a charm for my bracelet.
Monday he was normal again but I askedif I could call him to get something off my mind... he said what is it anyway I phoned him and told him and said so what do you think about seeing me again... and he said I’ve been thinking and I’m not ready for a relationship... if it was a different time in my life I’d snap you up because everything is there. I told him I’m not stupid and I know it’s my fault he said it wasn’t... he saidaffection comes with time.. I asked him to meet me again and he said he couldn’t... I was heartbroken I said so you just wanted me for one thing he said of course not why would I traveland make the time if I wanted that id find it close by.
I saidso is this it then? He said it looks like it i said yes or no is this it ? He said the same thing then said bye.

So I’m beating myself up. I feel like it’s me for not making a move but he didn’t either. Now I feel like I meant nothing. And all I can think about is all the things we did and how happy I was. I miss him a lot its been a week nearly. He hasn’t deleted me off anything. He did text me after the phone call and said he feels valued as a person and that and I poured my heart out and he said ‘listen, I’ve had the best time and I’m blessed for all the good times we shared but there comes a point when more has to happen and that wasthe only thing that was missing for me’

Tho I’m not one to throw myself atmen I just don’t get it. I’m so hurt. He’s gone and I want him back. I really want him back.

I know it’s my fault for not being affectionate enough that’s my shyness. I told him this and he said it comes with time... and he also said I did nothing wrong.

It doesn’t make sense. I guess he stopped fancying me. My sister said if you meant anything to him he will realise.