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Is it normal? I'm pretty cute, definitely not beautiful by mainstream standards. I've struggled with liking my appearance my whole life, though these days I don't like my face simply because I look like my mother. I dislike, and have no respect for her. I hate looking in the mirror and seeing her face.
They say that the biggest compliment you can give a boy is that he's growing up to become his father, and the worst insult you can give a girl is that she's growing up to become her mother. I don't know why, but it's true. I think that women just aren't very good at forgiving other women.
Anyway, it's not her face, it's yours. It's not identical to hers, and you're not identical to her. You're you. And I hear you're pretty cute, so you've gotta be happy about that.
ungrateful child. at least you don't look like an alien or a demon's child. seriously.
I went through this. I do not like either my parents as people. they are the kind of people that if we were not related, I would not want to meet/have a relationship with.
What worked for me was to realize that no matter where I come from, my face, my quirks and my brain are mine; in reality we tend to see similarities where we look for them (it is scientifically proven), and my face, and yours, have similarities with so many people because most of the genetic pool is shared by all of humankind.
You are at the center of your life, heck you are your life, not other people, not even your parents that initiated the biological process to make the organism that is you. Who cares if you have some similarities with your parents, and Hitler, and putTheNameOfPersonYouDoNotLikeHere: you are unique, be confident of that :-)
I hardly think that loathing your face is appropriate or helps you, whatever you reason for disliking your mother. Get real.
I hardly think your comment is useful or insightful. Yet, you still said it.
Yes I did. Because whatever failure your mom was - you should not disrespect yourself nor hold yourself in contempt nor accountable/responsible for her. You can be a beautiful person but you have to love yourself - even if that was not forthcoming from mother.
How subjective! This girl has a freaking problem; one can't simply decide what to feel. She obviously realizes it's not healthy to "disrespect" herself due to her mother's character or whatever, and that's why she's discussing it here.
"Loving oneself" is not a piece of cake. It's not something that happens over night. You don't wake up one day and say to yourself, "today I'm going to love myself." We wish it were that easy. Some people spend years of councelling for that, some even drown in an ocean of dEpressiondue to self-loathing and others die, unable to love themselves. So get real and give the girl a break.
Thank you. Average people never resolve their deepest inner demons. I hate to say it, but my reality is a textbook example of what happens when an emotionally abused and neglected child grows up. People who say things like "get real", as if its a simple decision, have had the luxury of someone giving half a shit about their well-being. Seeing myself reminds me of my mother, which reminds me of what a perverse waste of life she is. This is a new thing for me, I haven't always hated my face because it looked like hers. I thinks it's simply because I'm a young adult now and am afraid of 'turning into' her in the following years and decades. God forbid it. I'll never have children if I dont resolve and become a wholesome person.
Ps, pardon my long sappy response. I couldn't help it lol.
Don't worry about it. I am sure you will not end up like her because you seem mature enough to point your finger on what sucks about her. You know what you don't want to be, there fore you should know what you want to be. Keep that in mind, believe in yourself, grow into a better person, perhaps the opposite of your mother if that makes you feel better, and eventually you will love yourself and pass through this.
I wish you good things:) it's up to you to make them happen though.
Xxx
I feel the same way. I don't look like her a lot, but I still do and it pisses me off more than you can imagine. I have my reasons too of course, she is an adorable person but I just can't stand her (now THAT isn't so normal); what I hate most is that sometimes just after I finish a sentence, I realize I sounded like her and that makes me hate myself...
Try to make peace with her, you'll be in peace with yourself.
I fail to do that every single day.
Xxx
One day you may have a little girl who looks just like you. And she will be the most beautiful thing you have ever seen. Genetic resemblances are just that, its the emotion and perspective you put upon them that matters. Just because you look like her doesn't and never will mean you are her. Step out of her shadow and be yourself :)
I would hope that I will be prepared to be a good mother, so my daughter doesn't feel cold, empty, and disgusted when she looks at me. Looking in the mirror reminds me of the all the nasty things. It's easier said than done to step out of the darkness of neglect.
I didn`t dislike my mother, but she had a lot of annoying traits & was a weak person, so it would always piss me off if anyone said that I looked like her. I think that there is too much of my mother in me, but I`d also hate to take after my father as well, because he was an a***hole, & a complete loser as well.
It's understandable. Since she's your mother, you'll have to make peace with the fact that there will some physical resemblance. But just because you look like her, it doesn't mean you have to be like her. You can develop your own style and personality apart from her influence.