I didn't cry when my dad passed on.

Hi. My dad passed on a while ago from some complications from the medicine he'd been taking to cope with leukemia. He was being wheeled to the icu one day and after 2 days the doctor told us that they had done whatever they could and they're gonna take him out from the icu and place him in a single ward so that we can stay together with him till he passes on, and told us that he would last for at least 3 days in that room. And everyone of my family broke down and cried. But what I felt, besides shock, was a sudden surge of responsibility and confidence, and I couldn't bring myself to cry. I walked away from my family, and I heard a voice in my head, that said, look after your mum for me. After I heard this, I became stronger than ever, and I wanted my dad to free himself as soon as possible because he was suffering.

I went to him and I promised him. A day later he passed away. My family went hysterical. And me, being the closest one to my dad always, didn't even shed a tear cause i couldn't do it. The time when I cried, was when his body was sent to be cremated. I still have VERY vivid dreams of talking to him every now and then, and when I reach out to touch him everytime, he feels wet and cold, i don't know if this is normal, and I would like to hear your inputs! Sorry for the really long post, I miss my dad alot.

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Based on 54 votes (48 yes)
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Comments ( 9 )
  • Pilot

    Sorry for your loss. I wish I was loved as much as you love your dad. Your a very special person with strength & intelligence that'll get you through these times. Stay busy & keep your head up. It'll work it's way out in time.

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  • Aww I'm sorry too :/ but yeah we all cope differently. I think that you handled it pretty well. Someone had to be strong and needed to take responsibility and you took it right away. The dreams will go away soon enough good luck (:

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  • I'm sorry for your loss- your in my prayers <.3
    I don't really cry when ppl die, but I never lost someone I knew

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  • randomjelly

    I'm so sorry for your loss. Your reaction is normal because we all cope in different ways. Good luck to you.

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  • karmasAbich

    I'm sorry. This is a normal reaction, I have a hard time crying, especially when I should be..

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  • xokatherineox

    Oh my. I am very sorry for your lose. Normally you have dreams about that person because either you miss them alot or they need to talk to you or tell you something. I am almost 19 and I know this much. My mum said that I had a life before now. I know alot about things that other kids know. I haven't had a dream like this but I can know what it feels like. My mum's friend just passed in May and I still think about her and how I miss her so much. I think I had a dream like this, but I'm not sure. My mum said that they come back and visit you and they don't want you to be scared and they just want to say that they are in a better place and you should not worry. I hope this made you feel better and I am sorry for typing so much. Bye.

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  • Sumwun

    Wow. That's exactly what happened to me. I loved my dad. He was the only member of my family that actually cared about me, but when he died I didn't feel sad. I couldn't figure out why. Glad to see I'm not alone in that.

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  • MicrosizeMe

    It's a defence mechanism called an opposite reaction and is perfectly healthy. I honestly respect the fact that you can do that.

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  • xokatherineox

    It could also be that you could be taking care of your mum very good and he wanted to say that to you. Do you ever hear words of what he's saying?

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