I didn't bring my siblings to this world

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16 Comments

I am 22 years old and I'm the eldest out of 5. About 4 years ago, after graduating from high school, I ran away from home and hid in my godfather's house for a month and I was able to find a job after searching (fast food). Ever since I've been working, my mother who now has 4 mouths to feed, keeps asking money from the family to help out with my siblings. My mother, who hasn't work in 3 years, needs to support her own kids because I can't be giving her money every time she whines and sobs. My mother isn't looking for a job, she has her own food stamps, she would use her boyfriends' money to support her and the kids (yes she has more than one boyfriend). There are programs to help support her and the kids and she takes every bit of advantage she can without the hard earn work. Neither one of three baby daddies bother paying child support. I have my own life now, I got a new stable job, I live in a old house with my boyfriend who I've been with for 7 years, we both save money, we have no kids of our right now but we both want to feel secure enough to have one. What should I do? I can't stand to see my own siblings struggle but my mother needs to do her part. I am sorry for my grammar by the way.

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67% Normal
Based on 24 votes (16 yes)
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Comments ( 16 )
  • reminiscent
    9 years ago

    I wouldn't give her a dime.
    however I would give to the kids. I would most likely bring them left overs... or bake them something. I would check the fridge for food and if they were out of something like milk and stuff I would get it for them.
    I might even buy them some school supplies or shoes.... maybe even some clothing.
    but I dont trust handing money over to someone who cant bother to look for a job.
    I would be more hands on as i would care deeply for my siblings and make sure they were doing ok.

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  • WhoYouCallinPinhead
    9 years ago

    Just let her know. It's not your job to raise your siblings. That was a choice she made.

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  • NobodyKnows
    8 years ago

    I admire the hell out of you! I won't pretend for a second that my situation is as bad as yours, but I can relate to escaping from one's parents and finding a minimum-wage job to support yourself. With how many adults I know continue to live with parents they dislike or who abuse them, I have so much admiration for the person who takes control of their own life and just leaves.

    As for your siblings, I wish I had advice. I'm tempted to tell you to call the cops on your mom, or tell the siblings (when they're old enough) why they should be independent like you, but I'm sure it's not that simple.

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      8 years ago

      Thank you...
      For the cops don't even bother with them. Before I was 18, we've gone through so many social workers under my mom's wrath and every time I spoke the truth a new social worker shows up. I remember a social worker showing at my house after talking to her about my mom, I cried. I was helpless and scared and the so called "Social worker" said she couldn't do anything. You could see the sympathy in her face but I was furious because I wanted that bitch to see the ugly truth. I couldn't wait until I was 18 to runaway but I didn't have to wait any longer. I graduated then three days later I ran away.

      Update: To this day I still can't get along with my mother. Last month, she asked for shoes for my 2 sisters and it turned into an argument after that. She had the nerve to tell me "Be more of a sister than a mother!". I didn't know how to respond to that because all my life I had to raise my siblings and go to school. My mom's birthday recently past and I didn't bother calling her. My little brothers admire by my mom, vise versa, but not us daughters. The second oldest is my 17 year old sister and will be graduating next year. She comes to my house and talk about the same problems I had to go through. The third oldest is 10 years old and she's graduating from elementary this month. I remember how she used to get seizures when she was young. I also remember how my mom would beat her and I would intervene. My 10 year old sister extremely negative about everything and it's not her fault for being that way.

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  • cocoapeaches
    9 years ago

    Great for you for getting out of that situation and making life better for yourself. I know the struggle but think you are doing whats right for your mom. Is she spending money correctly? I wouldn't give it to her but if you are really feeling for your siblings spend time with them, buy them things they need if you can spare, or just take them out for fun and food. Make sure you stay close and give them advice -- they can make it out too!

    Good luck. You are a good person.

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    • Jazyritz619
      9 years ago

      If my mother was to have a decent amount of money to pay for significant necessities such as rent, food, bills ect. She knows better than to spend her money wisely vs. On useless things. I can remember a time where my mother, the kids, and I got evicted from an apartment because my mother was trying to save money on my sweet 15. At the time I didnt know any better of what was more important in life and no one ever sat and talked to me about money being spend for my future. I could've used that money for a new car or put into my savings account but instead a got a dress that I only wear once collecting dust and a cheap tiara :/ Geez

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      • cocoapeaches
        9 years ago

        Well I wouldn't blame her for trying to do something special for you. My mom makes stupid financial decisions all the and try as I might to explain to her why its better to save money she's going to do what she likes. All I can do is keep it in mind, don't forget, and not make the same mistakes myself.

        You have to remember, no one probably sat with her and talked to her about money when she was your age as well. At least you have the benefit of an example not to follow.

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  • NeuroNeptunian
    9 years ago

    If you want to help your siblings, help them directly (buying them clothes, food etc.), but as it stands, you can't be expected to support anyone but yourself at this point. It's her responsibility and you're already helping her by relieving her of the financial burden you would pose if you continued living there. Some people will use whoever they can to get what they want and if she cared as much as she probably says she does, she would use her copious amounts of spare time to take advantage of educational programs designed to help women like her get an education and get better jobs.

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  • kelili
    9 years ago

    Your grammar is correct.
    It's sad but I don't think you can do great changes. Try talking to your mum and keep in touch with the kids. Let them (the kids) know that you are here. And just hope for the best.

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    • Jazyritz619
      9 years ago

      My mother has helped me in the pass but she tends to use that against me. She's the most manipulative person I've ever met.

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      • NeuroNeptunian
        9 years ago

        What up, fellow San Diegan?

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  • omgcatz
    9 years ago

    If you want your siblings to have a better life, have you and your bf considered suing for custody? Considering what you said about your mom, it doesn't sound like they would object to it. That way your siblings will be in a healthy environment and you still don't have to give your lazy mom money.

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  • GiveMeAFuckingNameAlready!
    9 years ago

    You can't help people who don't want to help themselves. If it bothers you that much move out of state. Out of sight out of mind.

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    • Jazyritz619
      9 years ago

      Out of state is a bit too much but we moved away about a mile from my mom.

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      • GiveMeAFuckingNameAlready!
        9 years ago

        You need to do what's best for you. She may have given you life. That doesn't mean she controls it.

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  • noid
    9 years ago

    Don't give her any. You would be an enabler.

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