I'd love to be like the 'soup nazi'. iin?

52% Normal

I'd love to have a business, where I have the BEST product that people have to have at any cost, and treat the customers like shit. I want to force them to put up with my tyranny because they want my product so badly and can't get it anywhere else, just like the Soup Nazi on Seinfeld.

I'd love to publicly berate the customer I didn't approve of and banish them.

I'd care so much more about my product than money so losing a customer is no big deal. I wouldn't even consider it losing a customer, it would be more like good riddance to an asshole that can't follow my rules!! People would come for the show AND the product!! I wouldn't lose either way.

IIN?

Voting Results

52% Normal

Based on 61 votes (32 yes)

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Comments ( 26 )

NeuroNeptunian

11 years ago

That sounds wonderful.
I would get very creative with my hatred though.
"Don't come back until you have dropped 80 pounds!"
My insults would be so disgusting and personal,
"Get out and take a bath, you smell like random cock, unwanted pregnancy and shame!"
"Your welfare money is no good here!"
"You're not intelligent enough to fully comprehend the greatness of my product, come back with a high school diploma or don't come back at all!"
"Well if you don't like it you pay DOUBLE PRICE!"

Fuck yeah. Hatred.

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- NoraBaker
  
  11 years ago
  
  I'm so proud of you, sis. You sound just like grandma. >:)
  
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  - NeuroNeptunian
    
    11 years ago
    
    I'm sure grandma is proudly beaming down at us from the highest mountain in hell :)
    
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chicken471bologna

11 years ago

You sound like a walking lawsuit bomb. Just watch one of your disgruntled customers sue you for discrimination.

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Shackleford96

11 years ago

http://www.dickslastresort.com/

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nobleserpent

11 years ago

So you want to be an Oil Tycoon?

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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  11 years ago
  
  You almost make me laugh. For that you shall pay!! Go home, hand write apology then come back in 1 year to hand-deliver it!! You go now!!
  
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alv1592

11 years ago

That's a funny episode! He looks like Al Pacino!! :D

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Avant-Garde

11 years ago

You could be a dominatrix. You bent on humiliation and pain.

What would be the product?

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- Avant-Garde
  
  11 years ago
  
  * You're
  
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anti-hero

11 years ago

A great hero of American culture.

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GuessWho

11 years ago

I don't think it's normal, but definitely very funny.

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BlackDays

11 years ago

Well, what would the product be? I may very well patronize such a business, given the product was actually worth your nastiness. I'd just make sure the money I pay with was 'dirty'

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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  11 years ago
  
  Ahhh, we have special place for jokesters such as you!!
  
  "Worker Number 2, pull trap door lever NOW!!"
  
  Bye Bye!! You survive trap door, you may come back in 1 year and try again!!
  
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  - BlackDays
    
    11 years ago
    
    Ha! Trap door broken! I will knot leave now
    
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    - Anonymous Post Author
      
      11 years ago
      
      Very well then.
      
      I will boil your firstborn child, render his lard, and use it to grease the hinges on trap door and try again!!
      
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      - BlackDays
        
        11 years ago
        
        >.< My first and only born is a she, and she will sneak in the back door and poop in your soup. Ha! Now I don't want your soup.
        
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        BlackDays
        
        11 years ago
        
        Looks like jewish deli across the street has new customer now :P
        
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      - nobleserpent
        
        11 years ago
        
        Too far.
        
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        Anonymous Post Author
        
        11 years ago
        
        I make use of psychological terrorism....I scare him, he leave!! Worked on you, no? You think I serious!!
        
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NoraBaker

11 years ago

You really don't care much about anything other than being the tyrant, do you? You didn't even tell us what product you'd be selling, just that it's the best.

Should I get out now or right now?

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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  11 years ago
  
  Soooo... are you saying I should just sell my tyranny?
  
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  - NoraBaker
    
    11 years ago
    
    Not really, people wouldn't go crazy just for a bit of humiliation they have to pay for. They get enough of that as it is in their lives. Your point is they'd buy your product despite the tyranny. Hey, it's your business!
    
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    - Anonymous Post Author
      
      11 years ago
      
      Well I could be a dominatrix I suppose. 2 birds, one stone!!
      
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      - NoraBaker
        
        11 years ago
        
        Yep! Like 2 tits, one bra!
        
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Are You Normal?

I'd love to be like the 'soup nazi'. iin?