I cut myself for no reason

In sixth grade, when I first started to cut myself, I was really depressed and hated my life. You know how middle school is. It's all dramatic crap that's really really stupid, and you look back and are like "wtf? that's wasn't tht bad.."
Well, I cut myself a lot, and my mom found out and took me to a counselor. That never helped but I stopped cutting for about two years.
When highschool started up, I started cutting again. At first I had a reason. My grandma got cancer and it was very heartbreaking to me. And my grandpa's heart condition was confirmed and the doctor said he only had 6 months to live. That's why I started again. They're my favorite grandparents, and it hurt me so bad to hear all of the information. So I cut. ALOT.
My best friend tried to help me and made me promise I wouldn't cut anymore. He meant the world to me at the time, so I stopped. for him.
about 8 months later our friendship had an extreme change and broke apart and he turned into an ass. Long story short, I started cutting again.
Luckily, about a year after, my grandma's cancer went away and my grandpa is still living, and it's been more than a year since they diagnosed he would die in 6 months :p

But now...I still cut. I think it's turned into a habit. I won't even be upset, but I'll cut anyways. Sometimes i even cut for fun. It's like my drug. I'm addicted, and I can't get it out of my system. But just like anyone else with an addiction; I don't WANT to stop.
I think I've gotten even worse now.
I like The Nightmare Before Christmas. You know how sally has all those seams and stitches that hold her together?
Well, I've gathered all these pictures and drawn a full body picture of exactly where all her scars are. Now, I've started to cut all along those places, so in the end, I'll have all of Sally's scars. Some scars don't really show up well, so I'll cut over them over and over until they do. I already have my knees and down done.

Am I becoming too obsessed?
It's like I want to stop, but I don't. Help!?!?

Voting Results
44% Normal
Based on 405 votes (179 yes)
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Comments ( 16 )
  • booboo27

    it seems like its a learned behavior now...you need to develop a positive coping skill that you can do when you get the urge to cut. something like dancing to your favorite songs or wearing a rubber band around your wrist and gently snapping it when you feel the urge (just be careful you dont cause more damage), going for a walk, tearing paper or grass, screaming as loud as you can, remove yourself from the situation you are in at the time, calling a friend or family member, playing with pets, clean, exercise, do homework/research/or just google whatever...there are plenty of coping skills you can use to replace cutting. you may not have the same "high" as cutting, but you will definitely get your mind off of the thought and replace cutting urges with more positive coping skills.

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  • Acoya

    I'v been a Cutter on & off since I was 18 years old ... & yes it's like an addiction! I used to only do it when I was really up-set about something, but now I tend to do it even when I'm board sometimes! If you want to stop I would suggest getting some help & talking to a Psychitrist!

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  • notnormal89

    you should see a psychiatrist not a counselor,it's alot different when you choose to seek help than when you are made to get help.

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    • paigedowns

      just so you know i cut and i think that "professional help" doesnt work at all this is somthing you need to sort out with your self and your loved ones!

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  • guitar337

    I used to cut myself cause I didn't like myself.. But I found out someone loves me and you are very loved by God and you don't have to cut yourself there is nothing wrong with you and I think you can slowly stop once you know God cares for you and has a love for you more than a person can! God loves you!

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  • stuman419

    Dude grow up and start cutting yourself. Do something constructive in your life and maybe you wont have the time to cut yourself

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    • RavenFireFlame

      You are a complete ass to say something like this! I am going through the same thing they are and let me tell you this, whatever you do your mind always goes back to it. So don't tell them to grow up and get a life, YOU grow up and get a life instead of making this person feel worse about themselves!

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  • Anonymous337

    I can understand this. I am scared for my own health because like you said it's an addiction.. On the outside I look perfectly normal, I have friends.. I go out and do fun things on the weekends I have no issues with my life or anything I would change.. But I have a secret addiction to bodily harm, I don't want to die.. I don't like seeing that much blood running out of my body but I crave something from it and when someone asks me how I got that scar on my hip or how I got that big scar on my leg I love it being a conversation starter and I will make it all up.. Am I a compulsive liar? I only ever lie about my scars and the deep secret that's behind them all.. But I don't think I want help.. I just don't want this addiction to take over my life and the ability to be able to live my life..

    I stabbed myself in the leg with large yard trimming scissors when I was 17.. I just wanted to know what it felt like and I couldn't walk for 2 weeks.. But I loved it.. I loved knowing what it felt like.. I never felt/ feel pain from any of my wounds.. Is that normal.. Is it just adrenaline?

    I am a fit, active, young girl in her 20's who rides dirt bikes and loves adrenaline.. But have I taken my love for adrenaline too far?..
    I'm scared.. I just can't stop. I can barely admit it to myself that I do this to my body, I can't tell my boyfriend and I think i would be too scared to tell a professional because I don't want them to lock me away and I don't want to stop the high I get from self harm. Please no rude comments

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  • marmite175

    i cut too and im the same my girlfriend broke up with me and i was fine with it but then she started dating my best mate and then i began to cut .now im happy for them i mean sure it hurts to see them together but noww i cant stop cutting iif uve found a way to stop or hav some advice tell me and btw alota ppl cut for reasons

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  • dork

    I took psychology in college, and they say that usually cutting yourself (self mutilation) is an after affect of being sexually abused as a child. If the cuts are superficial, it also means that you have no intention on killing yourself, you are more so crying out for help. See a psychologist.

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  • Chelfree9

    Sometimes I cut for no reason but just because I have a razor or a piece of broken glass nearby. But other times I cut for a reason.

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  • stikyfangers

    First off, I'm a guy. Yet, females are my closest friends. I've had one in my life who sounds identical to you. I know so little, but she helped me understand that, by cutting, she is able to resolve internal pain (by physically hurting, she claims it helps with the mental anguish).

    One thing I can assure you of: It IS like an addiction. It's your way of coping with something tucked way deep inside, such as trauma, sexual abuse. So, you are NOT just doing it for fun. It is self-expression at its most destructive. There's a reason, and it is likely deep rooted and is causing you pain (though you may not know that it is the cause), and your only way of coping is the cutting. I hate it when people simply state, "seek professional help," but sweetheart, you probably need to. Many blessings to you.....

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  • XJayX

    That's not normal. Your addicted, and you need to try your best to STOP. And if you really, really can't on your own, I'd get some help.

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  • ~BrokenWings~

    I am currently a cutter, and i know EXACTLY what you mean! it used to be from when i was bullied and self-conscience and now i do it..because..its what i'm used to...i do it when i'm bored or if the ad breaks are on..i try not to because my mum has only ever seen the cuts twice... i know its wrong to cut when your not upset.. but im OBBSESSED! i don't want to tell my mum...but i want to stop?? xx

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  • Used to be a cutter.
    It's a addiction like a drug.
    Get some more help.

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  • lyasjade

    i was once a cutter and I stopped but then one day i remembered the high you get the rush kind of feeling its not a rush but it is you know what im talking about and so i cut because it was my high and yeah you just gotta put it in your head not to do it thats what i did

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