I can't tell if i'm admiring other women or i'm attracted to them..

34 Comments

For the longest time I've wondered about my sexual orientation, but considering I am a person with no life, it is not an easy task.
A part of me wants to think I am straight, but I can't really tell anymore.

To go into a bit of history, I had my first crush in elementary school. It was a guy that everyone loved, and he was the best runner in our class. It was a normal crush like any other, and over time I got over it.
Fast forward a few years, I have another male crush in middle school. I don't remember any real reason behind it, and I got over that one as well. After that I never had any crushes (that I can remember.)
From this I always assumed I was straight, but ever since high school I've started doubting that.
Nowadays it is harder to find an attractive looking guy (from my perspective), and even well known hot celebrities are just "meh" to me. I see what the girls find appealing, but I just don't feel the same way. Guys in general are less appealing, but that's mostly due to their personalities (high school guys are the worst.)
It's not that I find them repulsive, it's just that they aren't as cute as I thought they were before.

On the flip side, I fostered a strange attachment to the female form. I didn't think much of it because I was an artist since I could hold a pencil. I was also a huge anime fan, so I often drew pretty women with large breasts.
I kept on telling myself that I did this because I wanted to learn to draw better, so I spent a lot of time looking up pictures of beautiful women in order to properly capture the shapes and curves of a woman.
A lot of time was spent just looking at women in lingerie, and sometimes naked, then drawing out their figures. It just felt...good looking at those pictures. Like, weird good.

To top it all off, I have a weird discomfort with certain types of nudity.
If a woman or man is topless, I'm fine.
If the woman has no pants, but shaves that's okay. If not shaved, I feel a bit uncomfortable.
If a man has no pants, I feel uncomfortable in general. Penises are just strange to look at, it's almost kinda gross.

At this point I'm confused because I thought I liked guys, but out of nowhere I feel these strange feelings about girls. How can that happen like that? Isn't your sexuality supposed to be there at birth or something?
I need answers.

You are admiring them, that's all	4
I can't tell.	3
You are probably sexually attracted to them.	5

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Comments ( 34 )

strangethingshappen

6 years ago

I am not going to vote because I have a completely different opinion. I think you could be open or possibly even bi sexual. I mean it's all about experimentation, only this will tell you of your true orientation and whether you like being intimate with a girl or not.
I am also on the same page and can fully understand why you find penises gross as well as males personalities in general.
You see, when you are younger,it's all a fairy tale. You believe in a happily ever after with an amazing guy or a "prince" in a childs world. It's not until you grow older and can see for yourself that it was all a mere fantasy and good guys rarely exist anymore. Reality is harsh and crewl because men are driven by animalistic urges and think with their cocks 99% of the time.
I think that's a major factor as to why women are becoming/allowing themselves to becone more attracted to women.
As well as LGBT becoming more the trend/norm.
I believe sexuality is always fluid without even realising it to some.
Eg One may go half their life thinking they're straight but one can make a connection with someone of the same sex one day out of the blue, next thing they're not so straight anymore.
I always thought I was straight up until high school, stopped liking guys and getting crushes and fell for my best girl mate.
Being bi or lesbian hadn't even become the trend yet nor was it more acceptable like it is in today's age.
So I can rule out social media because I definitely wasn't brainwashed like majority are today.
I have never experimented but I know I like certain females.
The female figure can be beautiful and I have had urges to hold some of my friends hands, kiss or hug them. I feel so much more comfortable with a female and am only emotionally attracted to girls.
I would date a girl and even if I didn't enjoy sex with a girl I would still consider myself gay because I enjoy romance with a chick and only a chick.

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- Kevinevan
  
  6 years ago
  
  Btw. Lgbt is not normal and never will be. There is zero wrong with it, it's just that its a small segment of the population that is against the norm. I.e. abnormal.
  
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  - strangethingshappen
    
    6 years ago
    
    It is normal because it has become the "norm" as opposed to many many years ago
    
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    - Kevinevan
      
      6 years ago
      
      nor·mal adjective
      
      1.conforming to a standard; usual, typical, or expected.
      
      4%-5% of people self identify as lgbt according to gallup. NOT NORMAL.
      
      I'm not making judgements. I am stating facts. Snap back to reality. It is NOT typical or expected that people are lgbt.
      
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- Kevinevan
  
  6 years ago
  
  Just stop. Stop confusing people just cause you hate men. Being gay isnt about having sex now? Wtf are you talking about. God you people are unreal. Do whatever you want but stop with pushing your stupid fluid, non sex, man hating nonsense on people.
  
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  - strangethingshappen
    
    6 years ago
    
    I don't have to stop because that's reality and the sooner you come to realize this, the better. You just don't understand.
    
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    - norochan
      
      6 years ago
      
      I hate to break it to you, but sexuality is purely about SEX (hence the name).
      There is a difference between being ROMANTICALLY attracted to someone and SEXUALLY attracted to someone.
      You can't call yourself straight, bi, gay, etc. if you don't have sexual feelings for people of that identity.
      
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    - Kevinevan
      
      6 years ago
      
      No it isn't reality, it's your own twisted belief. The reality is homesexuals make up a tiny portion of the population and their numbers aren't growing as a percentage of such.
      
      The overwhelming majority of people on this planet are straight.
      
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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  6 years ago
  
  I can say for a fact that I didn't think those kind of idealistic fantasies about guys. I had a crush on them once or twice but that didn't blind me to their personality (although it wasn't like I was attracted to jerks.)
  Also isn't it kind of weird to say that sexuality is fluid? Some people struggle with their identities their entire lives and hate themselves for it. There are people that wish they could be different but they just aren't. Plus I've seen people's relationships not work only because of their sexuality.
  I just cannot bring myself to believe that it can just switch like that.
  
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  - strangethingshappen
    
    6 years ago
    
    I don't feel it's weird to say sexuality is fluid because I feel that it simply is or at least can be for most. Yes, some people struggle but only because they have not accepted that what ever their sexuality is, is okay. So they put a huge amount of pressure on themselves and judgment for either
    
    A) Their sexuality or
    B) Unable to accept that theyre confused about their identity or sexual orientation so to speak, for which ever way they swing
    
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strangethingshappen

6 years ago

I once was told a saying but cant exactly recall how it went. It went something like this - If someone is confused about 2 different things (in this case sexuality), it usually means you are not straight otherwise you wouldn't be confused in the first place, you would know.

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mia500

6 years ago

I think you feel comfortable with pantsless women because that is what you have, you are used to it. There might be some sexual attraction but thats nothing to feel ashamed of, I feel the same way! I think its more about if you would MARRY a woman; that changes your sexual orientation. Just finding women pretty doesn't make you gay

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drpepper19

6 years ago

you could be bisexual, there's also plain romantic attraction. idk the term for it. you could be romantically attracted to men and generally attracted to women

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Nickvey

6 years ago

you said it best , you have no life. translated = no sex life its obvious no one is hitting on you or dating you. You are a virgin . on the up side you are not babysitting your first born., you only feel bad because you dont know if its pussy or cock you will like best. i think you will find both are fun. but you are not getting either one and its bothers you. you should have experimented with children and incest family , and you would know by now. you are not normal. PS . that all bullshit about being born gay, you are born human and nothing else. sex has always been a learning choice and i dont give a fuck what anyone says. PS . i never sucked a man's cock ever , but if the opportunity came up im swallowing every drop. why ? because it is sex. and thats all that matters.

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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  6 years ago
  
  I didn't ask for a stupid troll answer, I wanted actual help.
  
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  - Nickvey
    
    6 years ago
    
    you wanted to be born one way or another and you can't tell. actually you havent chosen. then you go begging for answers from strangers. sad story .
    
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redfastlad

6 years ago

Start watching porn on Eroprofile try the various catagories and decide which you prefer to watch then that should be a good guide to what you prefer in real life.

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Boojum

6 years ago

I agree with much of what strangethingshappen said in her comment, although I think she has an unrealistically cynical view of men. Her experiences may have led her to believe that 99% of men are assholes motivated only by their sexual urges, but I'm a man, that's never applied to me, and I don't believe I'm that unusual.

Surveys have indicated that more than half of women have some degree of sexual attraction to other women, so your feelings are not unique or even unusual.

Sexual orientation is not an either-or thing. It's a spectrum, with with exclusive attraction to men on one side, exclusive attraction to women at the other, and lots of points between those two extremes. A second dimension is the strength of those attractions. Many people remain at a fixed point on the spectrum and the strength factor remains stable throughout their lives; for others, everything is more fluid and uncertain.

Some people can happily pin a particular label on themselves at a very young age; others discover later in life things about themselves that were repressed due to their upbringing or the society they lived in.

Throughout history, the female form has been a constant subject for artists, and many of those artists were men who were sexually attracted to other men. Just because you like drawing female bodies, that does not mean you need to slap a "Lesbian" label on your forehead.

Your disliking of penises and female pubic hair suggests to me that you basically just aren't all that comfortable with sexuality in general. Maybe you grew up in a family where everything sexual was a huge taboo. Maybe the way your brain has been wired by genetics and your upbringing means that you just aren't interested in sex. That would be fine, if you're happy about that. There's no law that says everyone has to be interested in some flavor of sex.

I wonder how comfortable you are with your own body. Are you able to look at yourself in a mirror when you're naked and feel truly comfortable with what you see? If not, then maybe you should consider working on that. If you can't fully accept that you are a sexual being, then I think it's going to be difficult for you to really understand the sort of person you find sexually attractive.

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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  6 years ago
  
  My family was never particularly conservative, so I have no idea why I feel like this. If I walked up to my mom and said I was a lesbian, pan, bi, or even trans she would just say "good for you" or something like that.
  Being topless is fine, but I am not comfortable not wearing underwear.
  
  The thing is, a part of me IS interested in sex and I want to explore more of this; I know for certain I am not asexual or whatever.
  
  There is also other stuff other than drawing women I've been doing but it feels weird talking about it on the internet. Should I go into more detail about that too?
  
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  - Boojum
    
    6 years ago
    
    It's good you come from a family that's accepting about sexual orientation, so at least you don't have to overcome their hostility, wherever you may fall on the spectrum.
    
    I doubt if you're going to get any profound insights or fantastic advice on this site, but if you can't go into details about "weird stuff" here, where can you? Sometimes, just writing stuff out helps clarify thinking.
    
    You don't say you're a virgin, but you seem to imply that. If that is the case, how much of your uncertainty is simply due to feeling apprehensive about making that leap? A lot of people have their first sexual experience when they're in their teens, and a lot of times it happens mainly due to peer-pressure. I think that can be a negative thing, but once you've had sex, it's easier to be certain about what you like and dislike, what you want more of and what you never want to experience again.
    
    When going through your history, you say, "ever since high school". I'm not clear if that means ever since you finished high school, or ever since you started high school.
    
    If you're older than 18, then I can see how your uncertainty might be creating a nasty circle effect where the more you fret about sex, the more difficult it becomes to take the leap.
    
    If you're still in high school, then what you say suggests you're just a thoughtful teen who wants to be sure of what she wants before becoming intimate with someone.
    
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    - Anonymous Post Author
      
      6 years ago
      
      I guess I could talk about it here but I just feel weird putting it out there (then again, I am anonymous.)
      Also yes, I am a virgin. I've never dated or kissed anyone either, and probably won't for a long time. I'm not exactly what people look for in a relationship, physically or personality-wise. Not only that, but I don't think I could ever be that close to anyone (I'm not all that trusting.)
      Also sorry for not clarifying, I meant ever since I started high school. In September I will be a senior, actually!
      
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- strangethingshappen
  
  6 years ago
  
  Not being cynical at all, just saying how reality is and you must be part of the 1% which is a miracle :)
  
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Kevinevan

6 years ago

You're feelings aren't out of nowhere. You've been brainwashed into thinking you are gay by the liberal media and educational system

In the past 5 years (longer really) the idea that everyone is gender and sexually "fluid" has been shoved down our throats and a stigma has been attached to being straight.

You are following the heard and desperately trying to be part of this movement to either feel cool or fit in.

Seriously does the idea of eating pussy turn you on? If not you arent gay. It's pretty basic really.

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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  6 years ago
  
  At the time I started feeling this way I barely even knew about stuff like sexually "fluid" people.
  I don't even believe in the excessive amount of identities they've created like "demisexual".
  
  If I was desperate to follow the herd I would be INSISTING I was gay. I'm honestly just confused right now and trying to explore so I can understand what I like.
  
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  - insanebotv21
    
    6 years ago
    
    Sexual attraction isn't rigid, actually. It's built on tolerances; as in whether you like manly or feminine and how far you're capable of deviating from either side. Attraction is by birth(or puberty, more accurately) but tolerances can be created. You can come to like nearly anything. So yes, attraction is indeed fluid, to a degree. Whether you actually want a relationship with the same sex or not would probably be a better indicator of whether you should actually try widening your sexual tolerances than liking how women look.
    
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  - Kevinevan
    
    6 years ago
    
    That's kind of what I mean tho. People never used to have to "explore". They were either gay or they weren't. Sure people experimented but now it's as if it's a prerequisite to try out gay.
    
    If the idea of being sexual and romantically intmate with a woman turns you on and being with a man doesn't, then you are gay. If both sexes do, you're bi. If you just find women beautiful but don't want physical contact you're a straight woman. I think most straight woman find other women beautiful to look at.
    
    Honestly ask yourself these questions and you'll have your answer. You probably already know what the answer is deep down but if you have to go through the confusion then I guess that's what you have to do. Best of luck.
    
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- strangethingshappen
  
  6 years ago
  
  It's not simply black and white. It's not just about "eating pussy" that is such a typical guys response.
  
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  - Kevinevan
    
    6 years ago
    
    No it actually is that simple. Being gay is about who you have sex with. It's not about close relationships its about sexual attraction. Stop trying to confuse people.
    
    I notice you offer no competing argument in your response or tell me why I am wrong other than an ad hominem attack on my maleness.
    
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    - strangethingshappen
      
      6 years ago
      
      No actually it isn't that simple. Women aren't thinking with their vaginas pal unlike majority of men these days. Obviously yes, being a lesbian involves having a sexual relationship but it it NOT just about eating pussy. That's why I say, that's a typical man's response. Women in general, are far more attracted by an emotional connection. It's about having a close relationship as well as attraction/ a connection. I don't see the point in explaining myself which is why I didn't elaborate because I knew you wouldn't understand anyway.
      
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      - Kevinevan
        
        6 years ago
        
        I understand relationships arent all sex. I also understand that defining ones sexual orientation IS about who you prefer to have sex with, regardless of if you do the act or not.
        
        I haven't had sex in 8 years and sex doesn't drive me. I am not, however "asexual" because of that. I am hetero or straight because I'm only sexually attracted to women. Contrary to your skewed belief I do not think with my dick.
        
        I'm sorry you hate men and I'm sorry you are overwhelmingly hung up on my eat pussy remark, irregradless of how much weight I put on it when i made that comment. Continue to ignore what I say because of it tho. That does a lot of good.
        
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      - Kevinevan
        
        6 years ago
        
        Btw. I have a sister. I know exactly how women think about sex and how they talk to each other when they don't think males are around. Women think about sex just as much as men do, stop kidding youself.
        
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        norochan
        
        6 years ago
        
        I agree with you that women think about sex as often than men, but please don't say you know exactly how women think about sex. You aren't a women so you will never be able to know everything we think about, just like I (for example) will never know everything a man is thinking about.
        
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      - strangethingshappen
        
        6 years ago
        
        I should say genitals instead of vagina lol
        
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Are You Normal?

I can't tell if i'm admiring other women or i'm attracted to them..