I can't stop feeling bad at myself

Since about six months ago, when I've started feeling really anxious to get into university (my university is the kind you go there by morning and come back home) everything in my life started to bother me. I've never really liked myself, my lack of making friends (and the few friends I had), my personality, my look, everything. I had real problems with making friends and that's been the focus of my whole life. I'm a 17 girl by the way. I've always wanted to be one of those fancy girls, really pretty and with boys around them and sleepovers with the friends and stuff, but something kinda blocked me (my mind kinda always blocked myself, my fear). Last year I've started to improve. I'm not shy anymore, even though I don't know what's the right thing to say (like if I know something to say I'll say it, but at times just if I'm sure about it). My appearance is totally better now. I've met some new people. But I'm never satisfied. My mood changes every hour of the day. I can look at the mirror now and think I'm pretty and in one second I can't feel awful. Even though I'm already skinny I want to be skinnier just like the models, but at the same time I can't stop eating. Everytime something makes me feel bad I eat and feel awful about that, but I just can't help it (I don't throw up or anything). When I think I've made friends and they make plans without me I can't help it but think what's the problem with me. Why didn't they think about me? I can't open about myself with people and that's a problem. I have no stories to tell since I haven't lived anything yet. My life story is stupid. But the worst thing is my family. Sometimes I think they're the one to blame. Since I was a child they've been putting things in my mind. They've made me get scared about the world and now they say I must go out more. They've given everything in my hands and now say I must be independent. They confuse me. Now that I want to be skinnier (be sure I'm not gonna get an eating disorder), they say I'll get sick. Just because I don't want to eat food with a lot of oil. Just because I prefer fruit to chocolate. I used to eat A LOT and I know that wasn't healthy, so I'm eating less. They try to push me to eat and that is so frustating! They say I haven't eaten anything when I did (they never pay attention). Sometimes I can't stop eating just because the anxiety they make me feel. They don't understand me, they never did. They just wanted me to be just like them but I don't want to be. I can't stop yelling at them because of what they do to me. They keep pushing me and when I yell NO because I've already said to much times they say how I've changed since last year. They don't want to listen to what I have to say. They don't know and don't wanna know how I feel. They think I'm rude. I'm just broke inside. I've never told them about my feeling cause everytime I try they refuse to understand. I don't know what to do. I have no one to talk to and a lot of people to tell me how I'm wrong. For what? Wanting to growing up? Wanting to try new things? Wanting to know who I am? To have a personality? A life? I try to keep away from them but they always come back to bother me. I swear I try to keep calm but it's always the same thing. I OVERTHINK. I always did. I swear my whole life everything I wanted was a bf who would understand me, listen to me, love me for who I am and be always by my side, just like each other's world. My whole life sucks.
PS.: the song COOL KIDS really means something to me