I can't stand this guy and i've never even met him! iin?

57% Normal

My best friend and this guy on the internet have this mutual crush on each other. They're flirting with each other and they act all lovey dovey yet they refuse to do anything about the crush because of the distance. Sometimes she accidentally sends messages meant for him to me because he and I both have the same first name and similar looking avatars so I have read what they send to each other and the things they say to each other make me sick. After a while I found myself hating this man due to what the messages contained. I realize I'm jealous but I'm also worried about my best friend. She was lied to alot on dating websites in the past and I don't want to see her get hurt. How do I stop being such a butthole about this?

Voting Results

57% Normal

Based on 14 votes (8 yes)

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Comments ( 16 )

ArayaLioness

9 years ago

I don't think you're being irrational at all. If you're really interested in the girl, I would inform her that you've been getting the messages accidentally and also of how you feel.

It doesn't mean that you're trying to get in between them. You're stating your feelings to a friend.

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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  9 years ago
  
  She always realizes that she sends me the messages AFTER the fact. Then she apologizes and the cycle repeats. The things they say to each other are stupid. It's always some make believe online play for example:
  Frend:wheee.*shoots you with a gun*
  Guy: *falls down* ouch!*shoots back with my "special gun"*
  It is pissing me off because he talks to her in such a pervy fashion and I see her as pure and innocent. I do not want this person corrupting her. I already see that they are complete opposites and they're not compatible. If I tell her that, it might hurt her. And this is the first woman I actually have feelings for. I thought I was gay, but I guess that makes me bi.
  
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  - ArayaLioness
    
    9 years ago
    
    Lol. This is so sweet. I would still tell her how you feel and what you think as a friend. There IS a possibility that you might hurt her, but what do YOU think a good friend would do?
    
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    - Anonymous Post Author
      
      9 years ago
      
      I'm letting this crush go. If this is what she wants, then I won't interfere. Besides, this dude is a hell of a better catch than I am. Turns out he lied about nothing.
      
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MoonlightSin

9 years ago

I think you should tell her your personal feelings. If she is your best friend, she should at least listen to you. She seems like a nice girl from a comment I read that you said you saw her as innocent and pure. You're just looking out for her because you're tired of seeing her hurt and dont want that for her. Me and my boyfriend were also complete opposites. He was flirting, outgoing type and I was the quiet, shy, innocent, reserved type. But we actually have the same personalities. We both have a little communication problems trying to get our feelings across because we BOTH assume things and we both dont know how to express each other well. But we work it out. And we're about to make a year and he's never cheated on me or flirted with anyone. At first he did because he didn't take me serious and it hurt me. But now, he's changed and said he felt lonely without me. You'd be shocked at how a person can change another person. You should tell her your feelings. And you should tell her to meet up with him. Even if they're far away. And if she doesnt come out good with this guy, you should tell her to give you a chance. Even if youre the same sex as her. But the real question is "are you ready to risk your relationship as a best friend with her into a girlfriend?" Will things be the same afterwards? Are you sure your feelings are that strong for her that youre ready to tell her? Ask yourself this before you confess. Because you dont want to hurt her, do you? It's better to keep your feelings quiet if youre not entirely sure. Why you may ask? Because if you do say them, you'll confuse her and put her in stress and she won't know how to react around you. Wish you luck!

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chained_rage

9 years ago

Ah, yes, the proverbial crossroad...

*puts Pinky and the Brain on pause and crosses one leg over the other whilst holding a Chardonnay*

If you leave her alone, she might get hurt, she might not. In the event she does get hurt, she will either be mad at you for not interfering or she will cry a lot and you would have to pick up the broken pieces.

If you choose to interfere, she might get mad at you and say something that will cause a friction or a fight and end your friendship, or she will listen to you, not pursue anything with this guy, and hate you for the 'what ifs' that could have been.

Bitches, man. Bitches.

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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  9 years ago
  
  I think I might just be overrreacting out of jealousy. And I see her as this pure and innocent woman that has yet to be touched by a man and I don't want them to meet each other so he could corruppt her. They're not even compatible anyway so I want to try and stop her before she gets hurt but I do not wish to hurt her by trying to stop her.
  
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  - chained_rage
    
    9 years ago
    
    So..... why don't you just tell her that you are in love with her?
    
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    - Anonymous Post Author
      
      9 years ago
      
      Not an option, man. I thought I was gay for most of my life but then I found myself wanting her so I guess that makes me bi. I also crossdress and look more feminine than some actual girls do. Not to mention I'm short for a man. She would not go for me since that guy she likes is practically perfect. I did my research on him and it turns out he lied about nothing. I'm going to just let my crush on her go. They are in fact incompatible, but letting this one run it's course is probably what's best.
      
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      - (s)aint
        
        9 years ago
        
        You can't KNOW for certain that she doesn't want you.
        I, as one example, enjoy feminine men as well.
        
        But yeah, she obviously like this guy so just tell her to be careful and make sure he is legit and what he claims to be.
        
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KeddersPrincess

9 years ago

Well, that's how I feel about everybody in the world and I have yet to meet 7 billion people so you're good.

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thegypsysailor

9 years ago

One would think that if she hasn't learned her lesson by now "She was lied to alot on dating websites in the past", then there's really not much you can do, is there?
For my two cents worth, back off and mind your own business. This girl is taking the path she has chosen and nothing anybody can do or say will dissuade her, it seems. The only thing you will accomplish by interfering is to possibly destroy your friendship with her.

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RoseIsabella

9 years ago

You're not a butthole.

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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  9 years ago
  
  I am a BIG gaping butthole. Everytime I think of this man I just want to take my jealousy ax and chop down all six feet of him. For all I know he could be lying about being asian, or his job, or his hobbies. I hate him and I don't even know him. that is why im a butt hole
  
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  - RoseIsabella
    
    9 years ago
    
    I'm not going to argue with you about whether or not you're an asshole, but I personally don't think you're a giant, gaping rectum. I think some jealousy is normal. Additionally it's healthy to be protective of a friend. I don't know if you've ever seen the show called Catfish on MTV, but there are a lot of lying perpetrators out there. I think it's good to question things, and not just accept everything on face value. Just because someone says something doesn't mean it's true.
    
    If you're a butthole then you're a tight butthole, not a loose one.
    
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    - Anonymous Post Author
      
      9 years ago
      
      Thank u. I looked him up online and it turns out he did not lie about anything. I think the reason why I'm jealous is because I want her as more than friends. I even found myself comparing myself to this guy. He's 6'3, cooks his own meals, can sing well, makes good money, is sort of athletic, deep masculine voice , and is legitimately funny. Im 4'9, can't cook, terrible with finances, weak, feminine sounding, untalented, and awkward. I don't stand a chance. I will just forget about the situation, let my crush on her go and let her trust her instinct and do what she wants. She'll eventually realizze they're both incompatible as friends.
      
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Are You Normal?

I can't stand this guy and i've never even met him! iin?