I can't stand my stepdaughter

We are going though the same stuff right now, I empathize with you! Mine is 15, her mom is working on a street corner in the next town over, she steals, tell the most outragous lies. She ran away for 3 weeks, we felt we needed to let her hit a bottom, she came crying home asking if we would take her back. Of course we said yes but gave her rules she had to follow. That lasted all of 4 days. We think she is bipolar, it runs in her family. We are trying therapy, hoping it works but she has said she will just sit there and not answer. But if we try she can't look back later when she straightens herself out and say that we didn't do anything to try and help her. Have you thought of emancipating her? We have to wait 2 more years in our state. We are also looking into the Washington Youth Acadamy. It is run by the National Guard, it's free! Your state might have one.

this is gonna sound terrible.... but some people, cannot be fixed... as her mother had a pimp, its quiet clear she had no role model as a child and may have even been drawn to that lifestyle. irreverable damage has been done to her, and i doubt that it can be repaired. basically, say good luck, and put her on her own when shes 18....

Yup..its normal because she isnt your child and has very bad habits so why would you like a negative person with whom you have no lasting bond...

How could you post such a thing when....
clearly you are living with my son and not your stepdaughter! One of my biggest fears is that he will end up so lonely because I have the mother love for him and I can barely stand him. Good to know that there is a women out there for him. You will have to babysit the grand kids because I foresee years of rehab for me!

I had a similar problem with my elder sister. Infact, it sounds like they're one of the same.

My mother couldn't stand her in-law... so eventually, she kicked her out. Bad influence and all that.
Also, follow through with K3vlarSnare's advice. It's what we did.

She's really depressed, and doesn't care what happens in life anymore. She doesn't feel like she's treated equally in life, she most definitely has a drug addiction, and maybe you just need to get her to move out with a friend. let her do what she needs to do, and if she goes to jail, whatever... if she asks you to bail her out say "Why should I even think twice" and let her do her time. Feel free to ask me about it, I'm really interested.

I would kick her arse to the kerb :DDD
Im sorry I have delt with this before and nothing help the day I kicked her arse to the kerb was the happiest day of my life!!

If I had a step daughter like yours, I'd hate her too.

I think you really need to teach her some discipline. Maybe you might not feel it's right, but if she's going to keep living under the same roof as you and leeching off your money, then you should tell your husband to be more strict with her. Don't let her mother's words get to you, she is of course attached to her daughter and only wants to look out for themselves.

To be honest whatever

Don't be thrown by the people who come down on you for being terrible. Only you understand exactly what you are dealing with and you have a right to choose what you will and will not tolerate in your life, just as she has a choice what she will and will not do to you or others. Too many people give the excuse "they were raised this way" "so and so taught them this" etc. Don't fool yourself, the child knows right from wrong.
I went through very similar things with my SD and some different, the end result divorce after 12 years. She's coming up on 18 and is still trying to do anything and everything to make anyone who does not give her what she wants/demands when she wants it suffer. False accusation reports she retracts later, facebook posts that are pointed at individuals, threats, horrible emails, and why, because she didn't get a phone she wanted, or money she wanted, or or or.... There's never any respect, any consideration, any accountability. so tread carefully, and make sure that you do what is right for you.

You need to tell your step daughter what goes on in this house stays, and to keep her big mouth shut

Once she turns 18 give her the boot like you said. Just try not to let your husband from not letting it happens which he probably will.

Have you spoken to her about her lies, stealing, hygiene, etc... If so and she is still acting up keep her locked up, no friends phone. If she runs away let her. If she comes back give her a chance, if she screws up I say send her to a girls ranch. She might like it. It might straighten her out, since she refuses to talk to a Doc. Don't kick her out now bless her, she has a Crackhead mom. Maybe her mother caused this behavior. (by abusing drugs).

lmaoooo if i had a step daughter tht friggen nasty i would hve been like bitch go bath..lmfaoo tht aint right i hate her too n i dont know her.

I don't have any adive because I was in a similar situation and mercifully, she doesn't like our rules and hasn't come around in over 3 years. What I can tell you is that it almost destroyed our marriage, we have 2 kids of our own. But I just wanted to let you know that you're not alone. I know exactly how you feel. Does she have grandparents or aunts that you can ship her off to? Good Luck girl!

Is there anything positive going on in this girl's life - do you see any good in her? Are you on her side at all? If not - imagine what it is like being a teen with so little support.

There's something one-sided about this & its leading to an inevitable "you (the teen) are out."

How far away are you from the girl's mother - who you despise so?

Have you considered taking her to a doctor or a psychiatrist? She sounds kind of disturbed tbh, the stealing thing sounds like kleptomania and some of the stuff she's doing even sounds like it might fit the defintion of an autism spectrum disorder. I'm not trying to excuse what she's doing to your family- frankly, I admire that you've managed to stick her that long if she's really as bad as you say, I couldn't do it- but it might help you all to deal with it if you know if something like that's up with her. Even if she doesn't have anything neurologically amiss, it might help her to talk through some of her issues with a professional.

Man, give the poor girl some slack! Sounds like you have a case of "I can't stant my husbands X-wife" and you are taking it out on the kid. She sounds like a very normal teenager with a very judgemental step-mom. Bottom line your husband needs to set healthy boundaries with his daughter...you are not this girls mother and the best you can be is her friend. You are in a tough spot and I do not envy you! It's not easy to be a step-parent! I suggest talking with a counselor to give you some support! You need it!

I feel for you and I no longer am shocked by peoples behavours. I am sad to say!!
The story I always told myself is that they cant help themselves. They learned these behaviours from the Bio Mother.
A sick sense of entitlement.
Stepson tells everyone he is a FBI Agent.
StepDaughter is a snoot with a Im the queen and everyone should give me what I want when I want. She is suing her father for money HE put away for her. I know her mother is the force behind it. She ask her father for it and when he didnt give it all to her she decided to sue. Its almost laughable. She acts like she is a millionaire. She has no class whatsoever. Material things/money are more important than a relationship with your dad.