I can't seem to be happy

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10 Comments

I'm 22 and I get anxious about what I do or say in fear of getting lectured. My whole body and mind tenses up like crazy. Whenever I get a lecture, I either apologize, or I shut up as my mind goes into a ball, and try to be strong. Additionally my inner critic would make me feel guilty and ashamed for making a mistake.

I am happy one moment I have a fear and superstition that something will go wrong. I'm 90% of the time right and I break down. My boyfriend hates it when I'm negative. However I put up with his negativity and it ends being stored up with my emotions. I kept trying to talk to my mom about it and she gets mad every time I am like that. I can't express my emotions to anyone without them being distant or pissed off.

The part that makes me the most mad is I try to be there for people, but no one is there for me. I try to make everyone happy. Whenever I try to make myself feel better, I ended up getting into a feud with someone. Any advice for this situation?

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64% Normal
Based on 14 votes (9 yes)
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Comments ( 10 )
  • BlindSpot
    5 years ago

    If you don't stand up for yourself, who will? Hey, don't beat yourself up. Everyone makes mistakes and everyone, even the most extroverted, find themselves berated by others. We are human. We can't react perfectly in every situation. I have also been in situations where the other person "won" or I did not express myself completely, but the way I see it, I can either learn from it or run from it. I choose to learn. So should you.

    The fact that you recognise your low self esteem issues and that you are being taken advantage of, and have your feelings ignored by people is a good step because you have identified the problem. Be kind to yourself. You are kind to others, and that makes you unique and special as compared to the majority of sick people around you. Relish in the fact that you are not like them.

    Trust yourself and depend in yourself more than on others. You will have to live with yourself, but others will come and go so learn to rely on yourself. Do more things that you are interested in and that can motivate you and surround you with optimistic people to get you to where you want to be. I'm sure you are being hard on yourself right now and I am sure not all the situations you have been in have turned out negative. I am sure there were situations where you were not anxious in conversations and genuinely said what you thought without fear. Focus on those one or two times that you set yourself free, and get into that groove. All the best.

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  • RoseIsabella
    5 years ago

    Your boyfriend is probably not the guy for you. I dunno, but bet there is a lot codependency in your family of origin.

    Try to checkout Codependents Anonymous.

    http://coda.org/

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  • SwickDinging
    5 years ago

    Your partner is supposed to make you feel good and be on your side. If you don't get what you need from your relationship then it might be time to move on.

    Also might be worth visiting your doctor as it sounds like these feelings are having a big effect on your life. Don't feel like you have to suffer in silence OP.

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  • karmasAbich
    5 years ago

    Get some therapy, talk to your boyfriend or find a new one, be around healthier people.

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  • russellnb
    5 years ago

    Dump the bastard and meet people till you start meeting nice people who appreciate you and you thoughts and opinions. You do not aggree but you must agree to respect each others opinions

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  • Golias
    5 years ago

    Find some real friends who can help you, or simply talk to a psychologist. Believe me, you've got the wrong idea; there are people who want to and care about you, and will hear everything you have to say and help you overcome that.

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  • brutus
    5 years ago

    Try clonazepam.

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    • Nicole20
      5 years ago

      How will a benzo addiction help?

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      • brutus
        5 years ago

        Op sounds like they may be suffering from anxiety disorders.

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        • Nicole20
          5 years ago

          I'm a believer that klonopin should only be used prn, for short term panic attack relief.

          For a GAD it's bad news.

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