I can't say what i think because the other person will get upset. iin?

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6 Comments

I have a particular family member whom I am close to... simply because she doesn't really have any friends or anyone to socialise with... The thing is... she gets upset very easily and puts her nose up in the air.

She often does annoying things, which really bother me. They are not harming anyone but it's just annoying. I know I should be more assertive with her and tell her when I don't agree with something she is saying/doing, but I just can't. Because I know she will get upset... What puts even more pressure on me is ... I am pretty sure she has depression, lacks self esteem etc.

What is the best way to deal with this type of situation?

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96% Normal
Based on 23 votes (22 yes)
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Comments ( 6 )
  • college
    10 years ago

    I have a similar issue with sensitive family. From my experience, it's best that you use phrases like "I feel..." and "my opinion is..." so as to not sound accusatory. Of course, some people will still take great offense, and at that point there's very little you can do.

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  • NeuroNeptunian
    10 years ago

    I have similar dealings with a family member and I just keep shit to myself. Otherwise, none of us will hear the end of it.

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  • oliviamohning
    10 years ago

    It's normal, but honestly, you need to be real with her. I think that if you treat her extra nice just cause she's depressed, then that's kind of like alienating her right? It's treating her like she's weak. Which she's not. She's just sick.

    YOU need to be assertive, but not hurtful. So instead of saying "knock it off, you're annoying" <--hurtful
    Say "can you please not say/do that?" simple.

    I know how difficult it is for people like us to be assertive with people we love, or people we empathize with. I'm wayyy too empathetic for my own good. I always obsess over what other people will feel, if I am assertive with them. But this only leads to trouble.

    If you don't let her know, she's just going to do it again. And you'll start to resent her. Just talk to her, I know it's weird, especially with the age we live in - relationships are all on Facebook, texting, etc. But you need to do this. It'll be good for you guys. And actually, if you do it, you'll feel much better. There will be less disconnect between you two.

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  • ucipher8
    10 years ago

    Sounds like me and my older sibling. Maybe my sibling is better now but the guilt of not being a better sibling continues to eat me up. Im ready to just save enough money and run away from my family but sadly, this economy won't allow me that...

    If you can help your family, do it before it's too late. And if you know it will make them even more "stubborn", well i know the feeling and i can tell you personally that its something you cannot help.

    My biggest regret, trying to save my family after it was too late, hope that helps.

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  • handsignals
    10 years ago

    She sounds like a big sook, she needs to harden up.

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  • Justsomejerk
    10 years ago

    That's why my brother and sister don't like me.

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