I can't get over my past
ever since i could remember I've been abused by my family. physically from all of my mom's past boyfriends, emotionally from her, sexually from my oldest brother and stepdad. i never knew how to tell anybody because they would manipulate me with food and other necesities: "you tell anybody i wont feed you anymore" was their favorite. Except my brother of course he'd just beat me. Well the day i finally told i lost my mom's respect or whatever it is she claim she had for me, my own bedroom, and who i believed to be my father. you see now once my brother found out i told he moved out. my stepfather broke all of my furniture and burnt it in the backyard. and mom, well she just walked out on me. i was 16 when this happened and the abuse stopped. today i am 20 and happily engaged. but my family's wrong doing still cries me to sleep at night. and sometimes when i try to vent to my mom she calls me a liar or tells me to move on. sadly, it's not that easy. i still live with these monsters until i've saved enough to move out. but the thing is, i've alreday moved out before, that just sent me through a guilt trip because they infact missed me. they were worried to death about me. which is nice and all but how do you take that from a group of people who make you feel suicidal everyday. other family is out of the question we're Jamaican immigrants and all i have is my fiance who's going through some financial stress himself. He knows but there's never much he can say on it. anyway Is this normal? i need answers if not vent to me and tell me im not alone.
| move out dont look back | 3 | |
| let it go (like it never happened) | 1 | |
| vent to your family the right way | 2 | |
| you need professional help | 9 |