I can't get over him... iin?

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33 Comments

So theres this guy in my class (Im a senior in high school) and at first we were just friends and i never saw him as anything more. Our friendship is a little unique i guess you can say. We joke and insult each other all the time. But just as jokes.
Anyways i suddenly one day started developing feelings for him. My friends convinced me to tell him which i was scared to but i did. When i told him he made his feelings really unclear and vague. I asked him 2 weeks later if he could see being with me. He pretty much said not now but maybe in the future which i later found out was just a nice way of saying probably not.
Well we quickly got back to our joking and friendship which is nice. But ever since i told him my feelings he changed from sweet but a joking mean to just plain douchey.
He started hitting on my best friend and he knew she was my best friend cause she told him multiple times. And that hurt me deeply. He acts like he cares for her more even though he's known her for only about a month and has known me for almost a year. Then about 2 weeks later he got distant from everyone especially me. He wouldn't tell me what was wrong. He told me it was none of my damn business and to leave him alone. It took him a week and a half to talk to me again as friends. I kinda think he did this all as an attempt for me to get over him cause he never did this til i told him my feelings.
But now i have a boyfriend who's really sweet and good to me. But i can't help but still love this other jerk face of a guy. I see him every day in school and as much as i can't stand him cause of his jerkiness combined with his jokes, i still love him. I hate saying that love him cause that is the last thing i wanna do. Love someone i have no chance with. On top of having a really sweet and loving boyfriend. But i so much rather be with the other guy. I think its cause i got my boyfriend so easy. He liked me so much easier than the other guy. And i worked so hard on getting the other guy and though i feel bad i still am trying to get him. I think its the old saying "You want what you cant have".
Ive thought about stopping talking to the other guy all together to try and get over him but its so much harder than it sounds.

Is this normal or am i a horrible person?

What should i do?!

Voting Results
62% Normal
Based on 47 votes (29 yes)
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Comments ( 33 )
  • [Old Memory]
    10 years ago | pl

    Maybe you really should stop talking to him because he isn't going to change his mind about you, he's made that glaringly obvious, yet you are still struggling to move on. It might be what is best for you.

    Another thing worth noting; you keep tossing around the word love and, while you may feel like it is, it actually sounds a lot more like infatuation. If you had been in a romantic relationship where he reciprocated your "love", then I would say--yes--you are truly in love with him in a way which is difficult to get past. But, it's almost as if by using the word love instead of infatuation, you're giving yourself an excuse to continue on with this charade. There is a *world* of difference between one-way love (infatuation) and true Love (which is, or has been, reciprocated). It's important for you to understand the distinction so you can move on.

    No, you are not a horrible person at all. You do sound a little obsessed though, which is not healthy. That's why I agree with your suggestion to stop talking to him, at least for a few months until you get your priorities straight.

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      10 years ago

      You are always so wise. You answered one of my other stories a while back and you always know exactly what to say and make me feel better.

      I wanna stop talking to him for a little to get my thoughts and feelings in check but I dont know if id be able to. He sits right behind me in class and I cant help but talk to him. Ill try though if you think thatll help me.

      But I feel awful cause I rather see and talk to him than my super sweet and loving boyfriend.

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      • [Old Memory]
        10 years ago

        Thanks for the compliment.
        I'm just older and have a little more life experience, that's all. I think if I were compared to someone my own age or older, I wouldn't seem very wise at all.

        Your situation is difficult, but just give it your best try (ignoring him). Maybe you could also try to focus on his shortcomings; everyone has them but, when we like someone, we dismiss those idiosyncrasies as irrelevant. If he were your enemy, those flaws would be all that you noticed about him. So, the more you notice those flaws, the less you will want to be with him.

        Don't allow yourself to compare him to your current boyfriend and see if it helps improve your relationship. If not, it would be kind to cut your boyfriend loose until you're feeling more into it.

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        • Anonymous Post Author
          10 years ago

          Ill try my hardest to ignore. May be difficult cause im paired with him in a project but ill try to keep it strictly school related topics and no joking around like we usually do.

          And not comparing them is difficult too. I feel bad but I sometimes wish my boyfriend was more like the other guy in certain aspects. But I wont try to compare them anymore. Hopefully itll help the relationship.
          I also feel bad cause ive been sorta ignoring my boyfriend while I try to work out all my feelings and thoughts.

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    • shuggy-chan
      10 years ago

      Yeah, "love" isn't the word I'd use, I don't think most people really understand love in their early 20's let alone in their teens years

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      • [Old Memory]
        10 years ago

        That's true, but a lot of that is because they're working with only some parts of the puzzle. Love is probably such a complex concept and we go through different stages/experiences with it for the rest of our lives.

        For example, I know what it is like to be in a loving relationship and the difference having my love reciprocated makes. And I know about the love people share while being legally blinded by marriage. But, I don't know what it is like to love a child created by my own body. Or what it's like to love the same person all the way into old age.

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  • squeallikeasacofpigs
    10 years ago

    Ohhh High School.

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  • Holzman67
    10 years ago

    I think you should put your feelings into a novel, you've already got the first chapter

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      10 years ago

      Thats actually really funny cause I actually started writing a story out of this. Just havent been working on it that much.

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      • Holzman67
        10 years ago

        work on it, get it out! :)

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  • StarPup107
    10 years ago

    I had a crush on this guy and i tried getting over him but it didn't work. Soon, another girl came along and stole his attention, so i got over him, but not for long. The girl saw another guy and soon, she flirted with all the guys in the school! so i think it's just normal. You should think about it. =) hope that I had helped!

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  • ygrowup
    10 years ago

    At this age, in High School relationship are complicated and often hurtful, but it gets better as guys really start to mature after high school. You do seem obsessed with this guy, but your among many. No need to give up altogether. Much later, he may come back to you after getting some experience in life himself

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  • RoseIsabella
    10 years ago

    I wouldn't call it love. I'd call it obsession. Sounds like you have low self esteem and you don't appreciate the nice guy who's your boyfriend because you don't like yourself and think there must be something wrong with people who actually like you.

    What kind of relationship do you have with your father?

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  • Terence_the_viking
    10 years ago

    Then go under him.

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  • Middle77
    10 years ago

    I had the same thing happen to me but it was flipped, the girl and I met at work and we were just friends and nothing else. Then one day we started talking and then as we were about to go out she stopped talking to me...I found out she is now dating another guy from work, and the guy is 23 and she's 17, I just turned 19. But anyway after two months of wondering what I did wrong I found out I didn't do anything wrong, I ended up completely shutting her out of my life, still didn't work, it never does, just takes time

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  • BlackJohnnylicious
    10 years ago

    y0y0.. u might wunna turn black so yo can jump over him and get over him y000

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    • gummy_jr
      10 years ago

      I get an instant headache whenever I read your comments

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      • Anonymous Post Author
        10 years ago

        You do too?
        Glad im not the only one.

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        • RomeoDeMontague
          10 years ago

          I can see you are upset but you do not have to scream. Tone down the caps.

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          • Anonymous Post Author
            10 years ago

            Dafuq?

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            • RomeoDeMontague
              10 years ago

              Caps in text means you are shouting. So by putting your title in caps you are screaming at us. I was saying to tone it down.

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      • BlackJohnnylicious
        10 years ago

        yo cracker.. amma be happy y0 got yo white head sum kind of headache yo...

        pr0vez white are smarter n stronger know what am sayin

        thiz 0ne goes out to Dime dat' Lime from LA... Luv u homeboy.

        yo cracker, yo workshippin the devil?.. ya go da hell

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        • disthing
          10 years ago

          I bet this is a regular user's new troll account...

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          • BlackJohnnylicious
            10 years ago

            yo wunna smell ma ass cracker?

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        • gummy_jr
          10 years ago

          I'm black...

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  • EccentricWeird
    10 years ago

    This site is a piece of shit

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    • BlackJohnnylicious
      10 years ago

      holla..

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