I can't get over her

38% Normal
11 Comments

A friend of mine that I used to date is now going after my friend while still dating some other dude and I'm still hung up on her. It doesn't help the fact that I have a form of OCD which makes me obsess on difficult experiences or memories. I had what I thought was a strong connection with her, but I know now I was forcing it some. I want to move on but can't.

My feelings for her are screwed up if not almost all illusionary now to mask what I'm really feeling. Things like sexual frustration (she's exactly my *type* in that department) and lack of pride. I still think I have some feelings way deep down there but I'm almost entirely convinced there are much better girls out there. But I'm still thinking of her.

I've tried not initiating conversations with her and after awhile she stops initiating with me. And then I feel horribly alone. And when I see her chatting up my friend I think to myself, I know her better, she's just gonna use him, if they fuck I'm gonna be ruined. I would be more than happy for her if she found mr.right but instead she's just going from guy to guy, and the fact that I never made it anywhere with her makes me feel like dirt.

I'm thinking of just going offline for a month and living up north for awhile at my cottage. It's my hope that I can disconnect enough that I won't have that dependency on her, but I also fear I'll lose her to my friend. Good riddance, right?

I'm pretty new when it comes to romance so any tips to get over this would be greatly appreciated.

Voting Results
38% Normal
Based on 8 votes (3 yes)
Help us keep this site organized and clean. Thanks!
[ Report Post ]
Comments ( 11 )
  • Anonymous Post Author
    8 years ago

    Thanks everyone for posting here and trying to help me out. If anyone still cares I think I'm (slowly) getting over her.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    0
    0
  • Elixis
    8 years ago

    Talk to a therapist or psychiatrist. Going up north and reclusing yourself is not going to help; it might even make your obsession worse. At the very least, talk to a close friend or relative so you can at least get some input and not feel so alone.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    0
    0
  • thegypsysailor
    8 years ago

    Hasn't it ALWAYS been the proper advice that if one falls off a horse, one should get right back on?
    It would nice if the chicken shit cowards who thumbed my post down would explain their reasoning, but of course, chicken shit cowards would never stand up for themselves. They hide in the shadows, tail between their legs, skulking about with the flea infested vermin.
    So thanks, OP; you da man!

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    0
    0
  • RoseIsabella
    8 years ago

    Maybe she's a sex addict?

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    0
    0
      -
    • Anonymous Post Author
      8 years ago

      She's very sexually open but she remains that she only has sex in a relationship. Her current bf is at the other end of the country and she admitted inadvertently that they didn't have sex yet.

      I think she's a love addict. Attracted to the possibility of being in relationship but doesn't have the foresight or emotional depth pick and stay with a good one. She just willy-nilly flirts with people but doesn't have enough self-confidence to go outside her circle, since the last two she met online.

      She also described men as ice cream flavours, once.

      Comment Hidden ( show )
      0
      0
        -
      • RoseIsabella
        8 years ago

        Damn, that's selfish and objectifying of her to think and act that way. Yeah, there are people who are Sex and Love addicts who are really into romantic intrigue. She probably won't realize that she has a problem until she's hit some sort of bottom. No offense, but she sounds really shallow and superficial.

        Comment Hidden ( show )
        0
        0
          -
        • Anonymous Post Author
          8 years ago

          It is. I don't think she's completely oblivious to what she's doing, but it's not my problem anymore.

          Thanks for helping me vent.

          Comment Hidden ( show )
          0
          0
            -
          • RoseIsabella
            8 years ago

            No problem.
            ;-)

            Comment Hidden ( show )
            0
            0
  • thegypsysailor
    8 years ago

    Your best option is to go out and get laid. You are obsessing about all this because you are alone and she isn't.
    Going 'up north' is going to make things even worse, because you will have even less distractions in your life, so you will obsess more.
    Go find a girl and fuck your brains out. Stop thinking about her by having someone else (or many someones) to think about.
    And lastly, why do you give two shits what she does? She's not your girl any more and whoever she's with is an adult, perfectly able to make their own choices.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    -3
    -3
      -
    • Anonymous Post Author
      8 years ago

      For the record this is fair advice.

      Comment Hidden ( show )
      0
      0
        -
      • Imsocurious
        8 years ago

        No Sir this one's certainly not. Get this that she is not good for you. Clearly. And control yourself. If you can't then maybe you should see a therapist and talk about it. Otherwise you are definitely going down the same lane or to someone else who will USE you just like the last time. So, be patient and make something better out of your life like a career or some hobby or some new skill even. Whats over is over. Accept it or fall right back into the same shit. Your choice.

        Comment Hidden ( show )
        0
        0