I can't decide whether i'm attractive or unattractive?

77% Normal
20 Comments

This sounds like a pretty ridiculous question when I think about it but I'm constantly wondering whether I'm attractive or not?
When I'm out anywhere or in school I often get a lot of double takers from guys (strangers)- which in turn, makes me feel pretty attractive.
however, guys I actually know or see more frequently (within my friends group) seem to have little liking towards me? when we're at parties and such I get a little more attention but overall, I haven't had a boyfriend in years simply because nobody takes enough interest to actually want to start a relationship with me.
I've asked a few guy friends about this and they've said that guys who don't know me well often establish me as a "quiet yet cool girl" my interest towards certain bands is quite obvious and various other interests such as art and longboarding can sometimes relate more to the males- I've also been told that I have a good sense of fashion which is why I get a lot of attention from boys in my school that I don't know very well.
I get a great deal of attention from the 'popular' boys in my school when they are generally flocked by beautiful girls in general. yet, I am NEVER called 'pretty' by girl friends and it's extremely rare that i'll receive any remarks about my appearance.
it seems that any guy that does like me gets to know me and suddenly the attraction drops- the obvious outlook of it is that I have an alright face but a suck-ish personality. but I don't think my personality is terrible? I'm a kind person- many people trust me, have an alright sense of humour, good listener and I don't think I give a cocky or bitchy vibe whatsoever. however, I am quite a socially awkward person which can lead me to be mistaken as boring since I can only deal with 'small-talk' when first getting to know someone- it makes me wonder if this is what draws them away so quickly?
the whole thing is just confusing and although it doesn't seem relevant, I kind of want to understand what the problem is so that I can actually do alright in the dating world.

Voting Results
77% Normal
Based on 52 votes (40 yes)
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Comments ( 20 )
  • Unimportant
    9 years ago

    Isn't that a very black-and-white way of thinking? 99.999% of all people are neither fully attractive nor completely unattractive. You probably are somewhere in between, also.

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    • India_Jonah
      9 years ago

      i have to hand it to you- that is a very good point.. but despite my question I'm not really asking whether I'm 'hot or not', I'm simply querying on the whole whether I'm attractive enough to date- it seems that guys generally like my appearance but they are not drawn to the idea of dating me, leading me to question the attraction guys actually have towards me.

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      • Unimportant
        9 years ago

        Well, approaching a person with the idea of wanting to date her/him always means putting yourself at risk. Could it be that while these guys like your appearance, they can't predict your reaction?

        Another things - and I really don't mean to offend you, just some thoughts - could be unfitting intelligence levels, personal hygiene, certain expectations which girls have of their dating counterparts in your social circle.

        I don't know. Just throwing some ideas around :)

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        • India_Jonah
          9 years ago

          i don't think that intelligence plays a part since my grades are above average and I'm certainly not perceived as 'dumb' and as far as I'm concerned my personal hygiene is perfectly normal.. this is why I question it I suppose, the only conclusion I can really come to is that I don't really know how to conduct myself during conversation, I probably come across as quite boring and fail to express my interests and personality- perhaps this suggests I have a lack of interest in them? I don't know... thanks for the suggestions :)

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  • iEatZombies_
    9 years ago

    They painted a personality onto you that didn't exist and disappointed themselves. They expected you to act a certain way because you look a certain way.

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    • India_Jonah
      9 years ago

      that put it perfectly- thanks

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  • Mersaphe
    9 years ago

    I like hot girls who are socially awkward, it means they're generally freaks in bed. I'm kidding but you get the idea. Being "normal" is overrated anyway. There's something sexy about a girl who looks beautiful on the outside but has a whole lot to offer beyond just a pretty face and hot body. You sound like a unique individual who is comfortable with your views and hobbies. Maybe you just lack confidence and guys pick up on that and lose interest?

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    • India_Jonah
      9 years ago

      yeah, I think that could be a pretty large part of it

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  • Somesortofname
    9 years ago

    Take it from a guy in his mid 20's. If you want GOOD guys that will actually care about you and not guys that will treat you like crap or an object. be kind, be gentle and be personable and be real with people. The guys who are actually going to matter later in your life will take notice. Trust me, Hear me out hear. I have a few lady friends that are absolutely beautiful, give you an idea. 2 ran in miss America and a few other beauty pagents and won. Now, Would I date them?? ABSOLUTLY NOT! No relationship there. I love them as friends but they are very full and shallow of themselves and of other people ... and guess what, they can't find a guy either!! And they are 26 and 32! So don't feel to bad. The smartest thing I did when I was in highschool was start to figure out who I was as a person and date later on. Guys are not merely looking only on the outside. If they are and you fall for them, you can't tell me that's a relationship or something that's really going to last, can you? Trust me on this one, I'm a guy.

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    • India_Jonah
      9 years ago

      thanks a lot :)

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  • [Old Memory]
    9 years ago

    If you're wanting to know if you are physically attractive, a picture would of made this easier...

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    • India_Jonah
      9 years ago

      I'm not asking for peoples opinions on whether they think I'm attractive or not- I'm basically asking whether it's normal to feel indecisive about my own appearance due to the controversies of guys looking at me but not wanting to date me and ultimately, why nobody seems to go further than having a simple attraction towards me.

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  • Cats
    9 years ago

    "When I'm out anywhere or in school I often get a lot of double takers from guys (strangers)- which in turn, makes me feel pretty attractive. "

    You are attractive.

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  • Crusades
    9 years ago

    Men gave given up trying to hook up with women a long ago. As a direct result of most women in western countries being stuck up bitches, most guys lack the confidence or positivity to try and impress women. Because most have dealt with rejection or ever changing attitudes from entitled , spoiled women.
    Guys are confused and inexperienced nowadays and the feminist bullshit they're trying to impose on young people doesn't help either.

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    • Crusades
      9 years ago

      So if you want a guy yo get serious with you, try to be more friendly and less demanding. Show them you're not stuck up. Give what you receive and you should be alright.

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      • India_Jonah
        9 years ago

        thanks for the response, I don't play hard to get or anything- if I like a boy, i'll let him know. it is generally difficult for me to be demanding just because I'm a bit socially awkward, so I don't think I do well in that field.

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  • shuggy-chan
    9 years ago

    well you sound great in my book. so don't sweat it so much =D

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    • India_Jonah
      9 years ago

      thanks a lot :)

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      • shuggy-chan
        9 years ago

        there are plenty of guy that if your bluntness with them, they might puss out at first. but then there are also the guys that already pussed out one to many times and would match your straight-forwardness with their own.

        i learned that it best to be transparent and honest, and fuck the rest. Let the piece fall where they may

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        • India_Jonah
          9 years ago

          thanks for the advice- i definitely see what you're getting at :)

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