I can't believe it, but...

I think I may be falling for a 16 year old. I'm 20, in college, dating other guys (who are my age and older!) and yet this kid I have known all my life has grown up so much since I've been away at school. Our families are close, so he and I have always had a lot in common, it is very, very strange though. We've been talking a lot lately. I would never do anything with him, but it makes me wonder about the future (when we are both, um, legal.) And honestly, if he ever seriously made a move, I wouldn't stop him. That scares me. What do I do? I can't avoid him, but I can't tell him how I feel! Do I wait until we're older? Is four years really that much of a difference?

Voting Results
82% Normal
Based on 85 votes (70 yes)
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Comments ( 12 )
  • ComboBreaker

    4 years is practicly no differnce. Where you live, he isnt legal. So dont do anything... though there are kids these days younger than 16 engageing in sexual relationships. In my country 16 is the legal age of consent. I say go for it. But you kinda have to abide by the law... dont you? Do you think he can wait?

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  • bazwell

    mtnw seems to be the only reasonable commenter so far. There is much more to consider than just the age difference. There is the legal age of consent in the state in which you live for one (http://www.webistry.net/jan/consent.html), there is the very REAL risk of doing JAIL TIME (http://www.cga.ct.gov/2003/olrdata/jud/rpt/2003-R-0376.htm) and being labeled a sex offender. This could cause major life stresses for you and your current and future family and love ones for the long-term (your whole life).

    That said, you are the adult in this situation; the responsibility falls on your shoulders to resist even your own (and of course his) urges to start a sexual relationship with him. Just spend a bit more time exploring your platonic relationship. Before you know it, he's older and you two can decide together as adults how to proceed with your relationship.

    best of luck to you!

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  • mtnw

    the four years isn't the big deal, the fact that he's a child of 16 is.

    because the families are close, everyone will get involved in it, no doubt, not in favor of you either. it's likely to cause a rift, especially with the boys parents. i doubt you taking their child as a lover will be accepted.

    more than likely this is just an infatuation. my advice would be to leave it alone for now.

    i have to ask, though, how is it a 20 year college student can't avoid a 16 year old boy? i mean, really, you are only one year from being a legal adult. you can't figure that out?

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  • 123Blahblahblah

    You should tell him how you feel, if you really like him and he likes you then there is no real reason you should feel apprehensive about going out with him.
    And anyway 4 years isn't that much of a difference, i knew a 19 year old girl who was going out with a guy in his forty's. And the older you both get the smaller that difference will seem
    hope this helps :)

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  • BraveNewWorld

    Honestly it's not that big a deal. Every one makes a big deal about age, but with a 4 year difference, where the younger of the two is 16, I'd say it's not a big deal. Still, you're going to want to be mindful of legality. I'd tell him, but keep anything physical that might toe the line of what's legally acceptable off the table until he's of legal age.

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  • randomnessgirl

    In some states, despite age of consent you can still go to jail if the parent did not give their approval for their son/daughter who is under 18. ugh im waiting too, dont worry youre not the only one, wait until he's 18. it sucks but not as bad as jail! and if its not sexual, still be careful because if he gets mad at you someday he could accuse you of anything!

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  • southernbarbie16

    I would advise to wait until he is 18 to avoid any trouble, and just see how it goes then.

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    • flammableliquidz?

      agreed! or at least out of high school.... i would say high school age difference limit is 2 years out of high school 4 years is no biggie!

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  • cgirl123456

    you have to wait.

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  • alone4679

    my mom and dad are 7 years apart and they love them self ...love has no age limite

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  • Schythl

    Don't let the age difference disturb you. You're both legal, so what's the worry? Or you could wait for a while if you so wish.

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  • BOYracer88

    16 is legal isnt it?...

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