I am the king of misfortune

81% Normal
15 Comments

It seems as though everything i try fails.

Every-job i apply for never responds, and the ones that do interview, either lie to me and say i "probably will get the job" or legitimately wants to hire me ,and then someone more "experienced" comes along and takes my spot.

My online dating empire has been nothing but a dud lately as well. half the girls i find are moderately to severely overweight and the ladies who aren't, are total bitches. Trust me, I've spoken to them. I got more than 7 matches on tinder in the past 2 weeks (i swipe right on everybody to save time) but of those matches tend to either be overweight or look like they have bigger balls than me. I have nothing against bigger ladies but im a fairly decent looking physically fit guy young guy who spends hours working out and this is just an insult. What is the point of spending hours at the gym to build a perfect body if the woman i end up laying with has the physical characteristics of my cat, and believe me that is one pussy i wouldn't want to spend the night with. Though to be fair, my area is such a dam cold its not like i'd ever get the chance to show off what i worked for anyways.

Life is boring and mundane. just the same cycle of going on online dating apps, swiping though an endless list of desperate women hoping that one day day one of my "matches" will appear passable so i can brag about her beauty at family gatherings without cracking up. Maybe i'm lucky on someways and i get a Facebook message from a good friend from years past sharing an even higher degree of desperation and decaying optimism for the future. Asking not to hang out or talk about something interesting but about the same dam thing we spoke about the week before and the week before that, its a loop of bull-crap. Then maybe in a bridge of excitement that suicidal friend will attempt to msg. me his "last words"....again and once...again i call 911 to save his depressed behind from doing something crazy. The only thing i have been looking forward to in recent days is the nightly news so i can escape this dull vortex of a reality for 30 minutes.

An tonight my headphone jack broke in my phone and now i can't get it out, as if things can get any worse.

All i want is a nice life; a nice girlfriend who i'm attracted to, a group friends who i can trust who aren't mentally unstable, a steady job that gives me the money i need to pay for college, days that i wake up to excited because of the people who fill it and the exciting things im gonna do. But no. Im just another unemployed jack, sitting at home with one hand his pants and the other on his phone, but hell, i do try. Is it normal that i feel this way? What do u think i should do to spice up this dry dry life? In the mean time im gonna pop some popcorn and watch the Nightly news, I hear Katy Perry is releasing a new single, or was it Taylor uh oh. I'll have to see. :o

Voting Results
81% Normal
Based on 16 votes (13 yes)
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Comments ( 15 )
  • shuggy-chan
    8 years ago

    Welcome to our generation

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  • bucho's_butt
    8 years ago

    You sound way too entitled there man. You've got a negative attitude. I don't know a whole lot about women, but I do know that just because you have an excellent physique doesn't mean women are going to be falling all over you. You have to work to make them feel comfortable and safe. You have to have a positive attitude, or they will sense that you are negative, and then be put off.

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      8 years ago

      Meh I'm finding that many of the women in my area subscribe to the notion of being "punk". Generally just a bunch of pale goth girls with hideous tattoos and daddy issues, then there's the bimbo rich girls who generally only date their own kind: rich frat boys. Other than that there is little in between, I prefer Latin women black women, or women with dark hair being either brown or black haired but again there is little selection in my area, generally only goth Caucasians (ie. Tainted ones) or Asian girls (a market I'm not ready to tap into yet)Ugh I may just have to meet ladies the old fashioned way because the filthy hags online don't at all meet my standards. Sometimes I pitty swipe fat girls and it's an a enormous insult to not have one of these self entitled globs swipe me back. Who do they think they are?! Ugh our generation is screwed. We will likely be the least successful generation in history if this continues to be allowed.I'm a fairly positive person so there should be no problem.

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      • bucho's_butt
        8 years ago

        Well you don't sound too positive about women. I think you're just in a bad place mentally right now. I'm sure you will come out of it. Things always change. Sometimes the way we perceive things makes it seem like choices are so limited and the walls are closing in when it isn't that way at all. And I agree with you about the online dating scene. You hear about these guys who say they met their wife on one of those things, but all I see on those sites are broken, desperate women who have way too much baggage.

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  • flyingnostalgia
    8 years ago

    After reading your post i think being miserable is the only good option for you.

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  • snarkygirl
    8 years ago

    I am a man of constant sorrow... That's a cool song.
    Just remember there's always someone worse off than you .

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  • LittleGirlBashedAndSodomized
    8 years ago

    I read half your post. There are other options besides ONLINE DATING you can cold approach at a library, grocery store works great for me about 6pm when everyone gets off of work.

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    • Steven_Glansberg
      8 years ago

      It is actually possible to approach girls in most places. I find it works better if you don't think of it as an "approach" as that puts unnecessary pressure on it. I like to think of it as just having a running commentary as you go about your day. It is normal and easy to comment on things while you are in line places or doing things in public. If you and the girl next to you see something odd, just make a joke or say "Wow thats pretty weird right?" Most normal people will respond, boom, conversation started

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      • LittleGirlBashedAndSodomized
        8 years ago

        Yes and if the chick your talking to is a 8/10 in your mind visualize a 5/10. She also takes shit and wakes up in the morning with bad breath as well. As the once famous Ron Jeremy said and I won't quote "When you're fucking her think of dead dogs"

        However it's cut, women like being spontaneously approached by men. It shows to them you've got balls and also helps grow your own.

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        • Anonymous Post Author
          8 years ago

          i know what I'll be doing this weekend. I often have no problems speaking women who are sevens or 7.5s but once I see someone stunning something in my chest just grabs hold of my stomach and i'm running on limited bursts of energy. Talking smoothly and normally for about five minutes then having to mask my deep breath in between then anther five minutes of calm conversation. I guess i should practice this more, your strategy sounds pretty good to me.

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        • Steven_Glansberg
          8 years ago

          Yup!

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  • Whore_Lips
    8 years ago

    You sound like you need a reality check, I know it is difficult making the right decisions in life but that is what you have to do if you want to keep moving forward.

    Slow and steady wins the race. Remember that.

    If the "nice girlfriend" is important to you, start dating a lot, she isn't going to just appear one day on your doorstep.

    Lose the mentally unstable friends, you cant change people, and if they are already showing signs of instability, it will just get worse.

    Want a steady job? Getting a job is a job in and of itself, get a good resume together, start interviewing, and show that you are confident and competent.

    You sound like a decent dude, who does make good decisions, don't let others sabotage your good decisions.

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  • somedude11
    8 years ago

    You dont know what misfortune is. You are just another guy who gets a little bad luck and now things whole life is in ruins. You werent born in war torn countries so please reality check. Plus what you write here are pathetic problems compared to what others endure. If this stops you in tracks....than what will you throw yourself the rope when real problems come?

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  • Anonymous Poll Creatоr
    8 years ago

    What if you try failing for once. Then you might actually be successful. Then you won't be a failure anymore because you will have succeeded at something you set out to fail at

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      8 years ago

      As odd as it sounds, that is actually some pretty good advice my friend, what is there to lose when u try to fail, a loss at failure is something gained in the big picture. Very Smart!

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