I am terrified of sexual experiences

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I recently realized that I am terrified by sexual experiences.
About a year ago, I fully realized I am bisexual, and I still have only come out to one friend, so I am still completely in the closet. I knew that I would like to have romantic relationships with both men and women, however, I've never dated a girl before, and I only went out with one boy for a week, and then we just fell out. So, I never really knew what to think about when it comes to sex. I have read a few erotic fictions, but I always felt distant.
A few weeks ago, I had a lucid dream (a dream, wherein you realize you are dreaming) and I took the opportunity to kiss a random girl, it wasn't anything special, and I was just plagued with guilt afterwards. And over the past few weeks that emotional association has morphed and now I feel terrified whenever I think about someone kissing me, especially if it is without my consent. I want to kiss someone, but at the same time I don't. I think I have the lowest sex drive, without completely being void of a sex drive. If someone was to try to kiss me right now, even if I loved them, I think I would pull away. Which has gotten me wondering with I am asexual. Am I an asexual, bisexual? Is it normal to be this terrified of kissing before you've actually done it? Is this fear going to go away? Is this normal?

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Based on 5 votes (1 yes)
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Comments ( 1 )
  • quentari
    11 years ago

    asexual bi-romantic? asexuals are capable of feeling romantically attracted to other people. Some are even physically attracted, asexuality is the lack of SEXUAL attraction, not anything else. Just go with what feels natural, date someone if you like them. You may not hate kissing as much as you might think.

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