I am somehow confused about my feelings

Hey guys and girls! I'm 22 and I would like to share with you my feelings about what I have experienced so far. I am aware of the fact that you may find it unusual, but nevertheless I am determined to share it with you without any further ado. To be honest it has always been in my nature to be a kind and very emotional guy. I have had a difficult childhood and spent many years in loneliness. As a matter of fact I had very few friends. Fortunalely, everything changed from the time I finished with highschool. I made loads of male friends. Regarding the girls, I have made so much attempts to ask girls out, even just for a drink and regardless of all the efforts, I barely had any success. Of course I don't blame anyone for that, but only myself for being so naive. In addition to that I pretty much know that most girls, unfortunately, fall for the bad guy type. Sometimes the very thought is driving me mad, 'cause I am pretty aware of the fact that I am capable of loving a girl wholeheartedly and it causes me pain that I am constantly being rejected by them. I am not a shy guy and I have gained a significant amount of confidence, due to my daily engagement with sports. It's a fact that I meet a loads of kind people there, as well as girls. Well, I must admit that I have met a few kind girls by a lucky coincidence.. The mere recollections of them give me hope that there are still some very kind girls out there and I am thinking positively that I will find one of these someday. However, it's not sufficient enough for me as it's not addressing the problem constantly. I am often just frustrated and want to be left alone, read books and go out with friends just to calm down a little bit. I am aware of the fact that you may find me crazy or something like that, but I just can't stand the thought sometimes that I've never hold a girl in my arms and that I have such a burning desire just to fall in love. I really don't know what's wrong with me, 'cause I am strong person and I never give up. If only I could handle all those rejections better, I would make a huge step. To bring this to an end, I can't become what gilrs would like. I can't behave like a bad boy, 'cause it's completely out of my character. I just can't understand why so many people don't believe anymore in goodness and love. Why everything feels like going in to the wrong direction. And the simple answer is that many people just don't care whether they hurt other peoples feelings.. and they are too selfish to adimit their wrongdoings. I would appreciate it very much if you at least could make an attempt to put yourselves in such a situation. Also I would be glad if you could restrain from phrases like.. don't be so emotional or anything like that 'cause as I mentioned before I am a person that goes constantly against the grain. Thanks for the understanding. *By the way I am not a native english speaker.