I am sexually confused..could be in love with best friend?

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I met my best friend two years ago. Back then it would just be random txt messages maybe once or twice a week. As we grew closer it escalated to txting everyday and eventually it was txting non stop and also phone calls that would last hours. We would just talk about how our day went, school or work the normal stuff. She was the first to name us as best friends and also to say I love you.

But now when i go to her house i've noticed I check her out. She has a nice body and a big butt, big eyes. She's tall and now a college graduate. Anyways at first we would just give each other hugs and good bye kisses or sit and watch tv as regular friends. Then we started rubbing each others heads and holding hands( she initiated that one). Now we give each other back rubs and leg rubs, belly rubs and even spoon while we nap. I've slept over her house and she has slept over mine and when it's dark and i have her close to me I get turned on I think? I love when she rubs my belly or gives me smooches. She also turns and holds me tight when she is in a good mood. When we spoon she's always the little spoon and presses her butt against my pelvis She grabs my hand and places it on her stomach so I can rub it. I just want to hold her and I love seeing her as she sleeps. I love making her feel comfortable. Also she moans in her sleep while i do it and gets goose bumps when i touch her. But then again so do i. We tell each other I love you a lot although it seems i do it more often. Once while i slept over her house I was going in and out of sleep. I think she tried to give me a kiss on my cheek but missed and caught some of my lips. I liked it but wasn't sure if it was intentional or not. She takes care of me and I can confide in her with almost everything.

She can be the sweetest most caring thing at times, but she can also be a complete jerk who ignores me or is distant and doesn't act like my best friend. We have actually gotten into lot's of arguments about this. I feel left out by her at times and she pretends not to care. She can be very self absorbed as well with her work and acts all high and mighty. I'm still in school i'm almost three years younger.

A lot of people think I'm a lesbian because I am tall and a little buff and play sports but im confused. Also my best friend could she be bi or gay? no one gets that vibe from her but she does allow me to touch her and give her smooches(never on the lips) and spoon with her. She also gets jealous when I hang out or talk about my old best friends. Do I just care for her or am I in love? Is it me or can we both be gay and not Know it? should i ask her? Should I wait until I know what my sexuality is?

Sometimes I feel she is but then there are times when she is distant and doesn't want me to touch her at all or she gets mad and does not contact me whatsoever. She says she's straight but when we make up she likes to cuddle and stuff. Im 21 yrs old and haven't been in a relationship

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80% Normal
Based on 95 votes (76 yes)
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Comments ( 8 )
  • Faceless
    12 years ago

    Ahhh... the ever so present tight rope of sexuality. Which ever way you decide to fall just make sure there are loving arms to catch you.
    Ps- you guys sound like your both on the doorstep of gay.

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  • manticore
    12 years ago

    if you can live with the regret,just keep things how they are. you might have to put up with how you feel for a very long time,or you might not. can you live without knowing her true feelings?can you live with things the way they are?can you live with seeing her be with a boyfriend? questions you need to figure out. I'm sure there are more,but if your able to live with the status quo in your relationship and can find contentment in just that, do nothing. I still figure if she is a true friend she'll understand your feelings toward her,and accept them,even if she doesn't feel the same. feeling love towards someone is hard at times,scary at times,and can make a person bonkers. fear is a paralizing force. I think you already know what you want to do,but can't accept. all because of fear. I know you've come to this community for advice and alot of people have given very good views on what to do. if you do decide to tell her and it goes wonky,remember,there is a community her to support you through that rough patch. I love the phrase"if it can be broken it can be fixed". so if it goes south,we all can give you more advice on how to fix it,plus support to bring you through a tough time. cheers love. still rooting for you and hope love wins the day.

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  • manticore
    12 years ago

    I'm a guy so not to sure if this helps. she seems to be confused and scared at times(the times she's distant and what not)that she could be gay. I agree with pumpedupkicks. talking about it is a risk. but if you really love her, then it is a risk worth taking. you will have a regret either way. you could lose her either way. and all this advice your getting is just that. you have to decide, and if she is truly a friend,you won't lose her. I hope it works out for you. you both could be bi-sexual as well. there's nothing wrong with not picking a team,so to speak.

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    • confused1990
      12 years ago

      Thank you i think youre right

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  • KacyWatson
    3 years ago

    Perfectly normal to fall in love with your friend.

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  • Lonely2
    9 years ago

    I think you would know if its sexual.....sexual feelings are very strong and there is no confusion when you feel them....what your feelings sounds more like friendship and is a form of love...you may even get physical with her amd have a strong affection amd attachmemt but you will dump her like a hot potato when someone comes along who really turns you on.

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  • KatieLiz
    12 years ago

    Maybe it's just a friend crush? Not to undermine how powerful they can be. It doesn't mean you're gay.

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  • confused1990
    12 years ago

    Thank you for the advice

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