I am a mad gunman...

51 Comments

In this scenario, I have finally snapped become a mad gunman.

I bust into a department store, herd up some peeps, and hold them hostage.

They're all adults. The only differences between these people that I can see is looks and noise level.

Can you predict who I will pick off first? Don't choose for you and what you would do, choose for me and what you think I'd do.

Username: wigsplitz

I'll tell you my answer after allowing time for voting and posts.

The whining man. 22
The whining woman. 26
The ugly man. 3
The ugly woman. 1
The average, nondescript man. 6
The average, nondescript woman. 3
The handsome man. 10
The pretty woman. 9
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Comments ( 51 )
  • wigsplitz
    11 years ago

    OK, OK...

    And the answer is....

    The average woman!! So dom and dappled were right!!

    Not a word will be spoke by me beforehand, she'll just get shot in the face.

    I just figure I'd get the most mileage out of that one kill. I think it would offer me the best possible starting point for maximum psychological control and mindfucks. Everyone's going to die ultimately, but I want to fuck with all of them as much as possible in my limited time with them.

    1.Average woman
    2.Ugly man
    3.Whiny Man
    4.Ugly woman
    5.Handsome man
    6.Average man
    7.Whiny woman
    8.Pretty woman

    Ideally, that's how it would go. The group dynamics would change, at least slightly, after every kill, so I just figured that's the best order and would allow for the most terror, order and control.

    I probably wouldn't get out of it alive, but I wouldn't kill myself, I'd make the cops do it. Unless of course I somehow could escape, then I'd go for it, but sometime down the road of life I'd probably get caught so I'd do the same thing, make the cops kill me.

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    • disthing
      11 years ago

      You've put a worrying amount of consideration into this scenario...

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      • wigsplitz
        11 years ago

        Eh I wouldn't really say that, I just sort of translate what I already know or have observed and apply it to different types of situations. It's more about predicting how people in a group would work than actually being a gunman.

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    • dappled
      11 years ago

      Very interesting question, as always. How do you feel about the answers given?

      I put in quite a bit of thought but, like dom, I had a gut instinct that was leading me in a certain direction. Like him, I also didn't read any answers first. I didn't realise that (at the time of writing) the whining woman would be such a runaway favourite. I didn't think my answer would be right but I wanted to join in and I answered honestly.

      How do you feel about it being me and dom, by the way? Scared that we maybe understand you? Or calling us up for the mission (because we're on the same page)?

      To everyone else: If you're female and shopping anywhere near wigsplitz, make sure you're looking your best. It can make a big difference.

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    • bananaface
      11 years ago

      Damn! I should have stopped changing my mind and stopped thinking too much:(

      Nice post, though, it was fun:D!

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    • dalmationUntoyourSoul
      11 years ago

      what about the dude that can put his dick in his mouth? because i'd like to be that guy.

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    • dalmationUntoyourSoul
      11 years ago

      i would have hit the whiny woman and then the handsome man. but i'm wrong. if you could put up with the whiny woman she would be hell on the others. and the handsome man and pretty woman could have a moment together and then you cuold kill the handsome man in front of the pretty woman. your logic is superior to mine in mad gunman scenarios..

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    • Justsomejerk
      11 years ago

      Mindfuck! Well played you evil bitch.

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    • dom180
      11 years ago

      Is the prize that we're allowed to live? Pleeeeeeease?

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      • wigsplitz
        11 years ago

        Is that whining I hear?? Shhhhh...

        I was curious about why you and dappled both thought you'd be wrong. I was wondering if you guys chose Ms Average for the same reason I did or was it something else?

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        • dom180
          11 years ago

          Oh shoot! I'm the whining guy! And no, I don't mean "Oh shoot!" literally; in fact I'd rather you didn't despite the fact I'm now third in line for a swift death. Oh God, whining again... I guess I'm a goner :(

          To be honest, giving the answer I gave was a bit of a shot in the dark. I guessed if I was going to kill average woman first my reason would be that she'd be the one the others could most relate too - neither too pretty, too ugly or too annoying - and that seems like more of a sound reason than I could think of for the others. It would also show I wasn't easily provoked by the whining people or jealous of the attractive people. Sidenote: Being a guy I'd kill Mr. Average first instead, because killing a woman first might make me seem weak :P

          I'm sure I've picked up bits and pieces of your personality from your comments, as tends to happen when you spend a lot of time on IIN, but if I have it's all sub-conscious, hence the difficulty in being sure of knowing who you'd choose to kill first :)

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        • dappled
          11 years ago

          I thought you chose her as the best way of mollifying people. It was the easiest way to maintain control. Shoot the average and then everyone either side of the average feels equally threatened. Choose one extreme and the other extreme feels safe and might get a bit brave.

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  • dom180
    11 years ago

    Without having read the other comments, I think you'd kill Miss Average. Gut instinct, probably wrong :P

    Also, the title of the poll reminded me of that guy MaskedGunman :)

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    • bananaface
      11 years ago

      Haha, the title reminded me of MaskedGunman as well:D! And I think I agree with you. At first I thought average man, but I'm changing my mind. I bet she doesn't even pick anyone from the list:P!

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  • saduJ18
    11 years ago

    The pretty woman, cuz you probably had a huge crush on her in school and she wouldn't even talk to you, and when you finally got the nerve to tell her how you felt about her she said "That's ok, I'll get over it."

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  • bananaface
    11 years ago

    Haha, this is fun :D! I can't wait to see who you'd kill off first:P

    I'm guessing the average, nondescript man, but for reasons which are a bit weird. I'm sure one of the whiny people would be first to go, just because they're a pain in the arse, but I'll still go with average man...possibly woman:) Hmmm, this is tricky!

    Oh, actually, I think I change my mind! You're so crazy you don't kill anyone on the list! Do you kill yourself:O? Yikes, I'm getting a bit too carried away here...

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    • bananaface
      11 years ago

      Wait a second...is it your intention to kill anyone, or are you robbing the department store or something? Do you actually even kill someone:O?!

      I really like this post, but it's driving me crazy! Have you left a clue in the post, or are we just supposed to guess?

      I'm just gonna leave before I burst with curiosity or turn into a mad gunman myself :O!

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      • dalmationUntoyourSoul
        11 years ago

        i'd like to snort a bunch of cocaine with you. but only if it's free cocaine.

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        • bananaface
          11 years ago

          Aww thanks...I think:D!? If I did cocaine, then I would love to snort it with you too.

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  • NoraBaker
    11 years ago

    Oh, oh, I bet I know who OP IS! It's Wigz, isn't it?

    I got my money on you'd love to shut the whining people up by blasting the pretty woman's face up and say something to this effect: "Doesn't look look so pretty anymore now, does she? Any of you mother fucking bitches move, and I'll give you the same boob job, understood? Especially you, pretty boy! You could use use more boobs. And it ain't gonna be mine!"

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    • bananaface
      11 years ago

      Pahahaha:P! Wow, you sound like you have experience, is there something we should know Nora:P?

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      • NoraBaker
        11 years ago

        I'm not saying anything. :+

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  • isra
    11 years ago

    I'm an attention seeker so I'd blow away the pretty first. If that's all you get to kill, it'll at least stay in the media/news cycle longer than just average and ugly people, and up your overall nefariousness and infamy.

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  • [Old Memory]
    11 years ago

    I don't get why you mentioned your username...

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  • NotFloydzie
    11 years ago

    You'll choose me for sure. I would start describing myself, qualities of my personality and how I look, but that's too much work. Trust me, you'll pick me.

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    • TerryVie
      11 years ago

      i contest that- but i'll gladly compromise with "either me or you first" :)

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  • Corleone
    11 years ago

    creep

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  • xXScYtHeXx
    11 years ago

    You point the gun at them and then laugh like a mad bastard with a huge grin and scream "just kidding" and blow your own brains out.

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  • Saycheese
    11 years ago

    You would probably pick me then. I would be the average woman you would shoot. I would for sure not be the whiney woman. I also wouldn't be the ugly one but neither am I the prettiest.

    So... with my luck I would be the average woman in a situation like this.

    But I truely don't know how you would be able to wait to shoot the whiney people. If I were you I would shoot them off bat and not care too much if I would screw with their minds at all. But whatever that is just me... :)

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  • [Old Memory]
    11 years ago

    A mad person is mad because they don't know they're mad...you know.

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    • dalmationUntoyourSoul
      11 years ago

      humans are the only animal that realizes when their brains aren't working properly. this is called the human soul.

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      • [Old Memory]
        11 years ago

        The definition of legal sanity says otherwise. If a person knows what they are doing is wrong but keeps doing it anyway, they are sane.

        The soul is a made up term and what you describe is actually just abstract thought.

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        • dalmationUntoyourSoul
          11 years ago

          it's from a kurt vonnegut book. i appreciate his unconventional definintions of the mental constructs that most people have in common.

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          • [Old Memory]
            11 years ago

            I appreciate the more logical ones.

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            • dalmationUntoyourSoul
              11 years ago

              you do seem like the logical type, judging from your posts. i guess some people build functional things, and others make art.

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  • Avant-Garde
    11 years ago

    The Whining Woman.

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  • anti-hero
    11 years ago

    Correct me if I am wrong but wouldn't you be a Mad Gunwoman?

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    • wigsplitz
      11 years ago

      Well technically, yes, but 'gunwoman' just sounds stupid. Spell-check thinks so too.

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      • anti-hero
        11 years ago

        You know me Wigs, I just love being a smartass :)

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  • Shackleford96
    11 years ago

    I miss MaskedGunman...

    I guess I don't really know you as well as some of the others, I guessed the whiney man. It was fun though :)

    *bumming off some McDonalds Wifi

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  • [Old Memory]
    11 years ago

    Hmm...I'm going with the whiny woman. It just seems to fit your personality.

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  • LizardSkin
    11 years ago

    Your mom.

    I'd kill the whining woman first. Maybe great minds think alike. They are so fucking annoying.

    Simmer down there sister.

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  • NeuroNeptunian
    11 years ago

    The whining people would continue to cause distress in the store with their whining and bring you a sick sense of satisfaction. The average male and female are just that, average. No more satisfaction than the ugly male and female.

    I think you'd go for the pretty female first. If you're a sick bitch and you want to strike the first and most fear into the other captives, you'll turn that beauty into a bloodstreak. People tend to feel the worst for people who look the most attractive.

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    • dalmationUntoyourSoul
      11 years ago

      normal people maybe. i route for the underdog.

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      • dalmationUntoyourSoul
        11 years ago

        underdog is a real word, spell-check says so.

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  • [Old Memory]
    11 years ago

    Heh, I don't know what you would do, so I'll just tell you the logical way around -the whining man/woman. It's good for crowd control, they upset the others. Also, watch out for the "average joe", they play heroes sometimes.

    besides, why would you hold hostages? Most of the hostage situations would resolve in your death anyway, just find a good tactical spot for shooting and go spree. See how many swat guys you can take down before the Valkyries take you home.

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  • dappled
    11 years ago

    Oooh, this is an interesting question. Who would wigsplitz kill first? Hmm... the whining man stands out as pivotal but are you going to silence him early or let him watch everyone else get shot and really give him something to whine about, saving him for the end, like some kind of delayed gratification?

    I don't think you're going to kill him first. Something tells me you're going to kill a woman first. The average, nondescript woman? Yeah, okay, that's my answer.

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  • [Old Memory]
    11 years ago

    the one who talks non stop no matter how they look

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