I am a dream homicidal maniac
Y'know those dreams where you're being chased by a homicidal clown? or where someone is burning you alive, or chasing you down with a meat cleaver and ya just can't seem to run fast enough?
...yeah, I have those dreams too. except the person/clown/vicious dog doing the chasing is me.
In my dreams, very frequently, I do things I don't do in real life, like taking boatloads of drugs and tripping out, or having sex with strangers, or smoking cigarettes. (i understand this part is normal). But here's the thing that freaks me out: part of me WANTS to do these things in real life. I dont know what to do... I mean, logic says never to do them... but still.
Am I, deep down, a homicidal freak? My dream me stays pretty much the same person at heart, as though he/she (I honestly dont know) is a completely separate person from me, though still oddly me. And she (We'll say for now) gets a royal satisfaction out of everything she does. I dreamed I was a child who burned down a house and laughed while i heard the people inside burning alive. I dreamed I was a dog and I chased down some fat little kid and chewed him up. I dreamed I was a vicious homicidal clown and I hung three girls from a pole at the dunk booth, threw knives at them and then chopped them up. I dreamed I was a woman chasing down a child and I just kept stabbing her over and over and over again, the whoel time feeling really good.
...in my waking hours everyone seems to think im an extremely sweet, quiet young lady who is perfectly adjusted. wtf is this then??