I am a 30's something male and a virgin

60% Normal

I am a male living in Minnesota in my 30's and have chosen to remain a virgin. I have held this view because of my religious beliefs. After finishing 10 years in military I have been actively pursuing a long term relationship. I have had quite a few bad experiences because of my choice and wonder what I might have done wrong. I think I am judged for my choice because of the culture that is here in the United States. I believe that I should wait until marriage. So when I have had a lot of people challenge me by saying that something must be wrong with me or saying that I am making a big deal out of it when it's not. This also what someone asked me as well but may I ask you... is celibacy a huge focal point for you? I understand its a yes or no thing, and therefore not really up for interpretation or debate, but is that the key thing you're looking for? if so... why focus so much on a point of the flesh? My response has been that I think it is a special thing between a man and his wife and that it is the best wedding gift I can give to my future bride. So what do all of you think on what I have said?

Voting Results

60% Normal

Based on 65 votes (39 yes)

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Comments ( 17 )

reminiscent

9 years ago

I think that is freaking adorable. I would be fine if the guy wanted to wait and respect his decision. As long as we still kiss and cuddle I could wait np.

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RoseIsabella

9 years ago

More power to you, brah! Stand by your convictions, it's your body. I respect you!

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KeepsakeDoll

9 years ago

I think it's normal to remain firm on a decision due to your beliefs.

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thegypsysailor

9 years ago

I think sex, like any other worthwhile activity, requires practice to become proficient at it. Nobody has a natural "talent" for being a good lover, as a musician or athlete might have.
Again, in my opinion only, I believe the only "special thing" an inexperienced lover has to offer his new bride on their wedding night, is a rather embarrassing, unsatisfying, bit of fumbling around. Not the best wedding gift a man can give his wife, I shouldn't imagine. Religious doctrine is so many centuries behind human development at this point, that it seems rather foolish to follow them today.

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- shannoc
  
  9 years ago
  
  So let me ask you this then what is the best wedding gift I could give her?
  
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  - thegypsysailor
    
    9 years ago
    
    A loving, caring, faithful husband.
    
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kayleeberry101

9 years ago

How is this wrong? One of my friends is 32 female and a virgin by choice. Nothing is wrong with this and she's in the US too. She's had about 10 boyfriends too so it's not like she never dates. Half of them think it's stupid and can't keep their dick in their pants so they leave her and the other half were fine with it and stuck around but just didn't fit right. She's actually just started another relationship with another male virgin sooo I'm sure you'll find someone just like you. I myself am a virgin by choice TBH but I'm not 30 something.

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AmosTheCracker

9 years ago

Would you buy a new car without test driving it first? You gotta try out a few before you stick with one. You could get stuck with a nasty stank cave and think its perfectly normal.

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- kayleeberry101
  
  9 years ago
  
  What kind of response is that? This guy is looking for LOVE, not sex. I'm the same kind of person where I'd rather have love over sex any day. Superficiality never lasts.
  
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  - daydreamer394
    
    9 years ago
    
    Are you demisexual? I am.
    
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- daydreamer394
  
  9 years ago
  
  Maybe this person values more IMPORTANT things.
  
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wistfulmaiden

9 years ago

So let me get this, its wrong for you to have sex (if you love someone) but its OK to join the military and kill people? Im not saying you shouldn't wait for marriage if that's what you believe but how can you think being trained to kill other humans is OK while making love is wrong? That seems kind of strange to me.

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- shannoc
  
  9 years ago
  
  First I didn't say having sex is wrong there is just a time and place just like with killing. Have sex within the confines of marriage is right now out side of marrige is wrong. Same with killing in a time of war to defend your freedom from oppression is right, but killing someone for personal gain of oppression is wrong. It all soley realizes on the context inwhich you are talking about
  
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  - wistfulmaiden
    
    9 years ago
    
    Bleh, since you can justify anything anyway, just do what you want sexually. Im not going to get into the whole "justified war" with you. Jesus said "love your enemies," not toast them with napalm...But whatevs. Have a happy life.
    
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thr

9 years ago

When you say you're judged on the basis of the culture in the US, I wonder what that is compared to, if anything.

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TimmyTheTurtle

9 years ago

hahahahahahqhahahaaaahshfilqgfliqgfguhahahahahahahahaegfhwh LOSER!

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Nokiot9

9 years ago

It's ur decision. I don't agree though. You are missing out on so much that life has to offer. The good, bad, and ugly and the lessons u learn from them. You don't have to be a total slut to be sexually active. If it's something ur comfortable with, and it isn't driving u insane (I can't go a month without sex, I get really aggressive and angry lol) keep on keepin on. Don't let others influence ur decisions. You can choose to stick ur dick where ever u want, or not.

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I am a 30's something male and a virgin