I act like a child is this normal?

65% Normal
10 Comments

my boyfriend thinks I act like a child. This has caused major problems on his half. I can admit that I have not had any formal parental training on how to be a "normal" adult. Every boyfriend I have ever had has made the same observation of my destructive behaviors. I just started driving last year I am almost 26. For my ex that was his biggest problem with me was my willingness to grow up to be an adult. Everything else he said was beyond remarkable. What does this even mean? Have I become so transformed with my own self that I have avoided being indoctrinated by a certain cause? Have I become so lost in my own reality of what I find to be "normal" that I have completely missed the bus to adultville? My currant boyfriends problem is that I act out in public and talk to everyone I see. I am beyond friendly and inviting to everyone and have been my whole life. I grew up in a small town in upstate Ny and moved to the city we are living in now. I do not understand the dangers of people because I have lived in a world of fantasy and safety. This drives him nuts that I am so open and refuse to talk to him when we are out. Plus the fact that I need constant reassurance that we are okay. I have major abandonment issues and have been struggling with this my whole life. I am not sure how to break the cycle and what it is that everyone is expecting of me. He kicks me out thinking that it will turn a light blub off in my head and all it does it land me in a deeper form of depression. I love this man very much but I am feeling like if I do not "grow up" and be a girlfriend not a child then I will loose every substantial relationship. But where do I start? How do adults act? I was raised with minimal adult supervision and had to raise myself and brother. I guess I am crazy and highly codependent but I want to change I just don't know where to start. Is this normal to not have adult like attributes that form you into a conformist? Is it such a bad thing that I live my life through the eyes of a child? Adults are over critical and abusive towards anything that does not fit into their safety box. I however live outside the box, free in the air of the night I dance with rebellious freedom that has ultimately ostracized me from the "real" world. Such as life is this normal?

Voting Results
65% Normal
Based on 127 votes (82 yes)
Help us keep this site organized and clean. Thanks!
[ Report Post ]
Comments ( 10 )
  • ashelizax
    12 years ago

    i really do not think you "act like a child". you are a product of your upbringing. with no adequate parenting around, you learned to adapt and grow up the best way you could, and i give you so much credit for doing so.

    your boyfriend sounds like a total tool though, honestly. i'm sure he's aware of your less-than-ideal upbringing, and if he had any sense, he'd be able to understand why you are the way you are, and accept you and love you for it.. possibly even find it endearing. it's not your fault. and he certainly should NOT make you feel bad for it.

    might be time to kick him to the curb.. you deserve much better. <3

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    1
    1
  • ygrowup
    12 years ago

    There is plenty of time for you to grow up, and who knows maybe you won't ever, but I thought that might just be what makes you desirable!

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    1
    1
  • Febriarini
    12 years ago

    *don't make verbal nor physical defense, and just say inside your head and heart the things you want.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    0
    0
  • Febriarini
    12 years ago

    Hello girlee. I don't think you are abnormal, instead I applaud that you live up the world and fantasies inside you nicely. But you have to realize at least you stand in a real world, keep on your full-of-fantasy and vivacious thoughts and feelings, but gain your awareness of the outside world, but only give the energy to "what you want", not "what it is". So when somebody say something inconvenient, just shut up yourself, don't make verbal nor physical, defense and just say inside your head and heart the things you want :^) you live up your life wonderfully.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    0
    0
  • CrystalMoonlight
    12 years ago

    Judging by all that you've written and your grammar, spelling and punctuation I'd say you're adult enough.

    Although, if your boyfriend can't cope with who you are, then I'm not sure he's such a nice guy anyway, he needs to learn to accept you just the way you are.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    0
    0
  • LifeofLoneliness
    12 years ago

    Well i'm 44 and People think I'm still in my early 20's. I am the way I am and people either except that or they don't. I don;t see why you should change for anyone. Be you. I get ruffled with this attitude of 'act your age'. Adults are different and display many different behavioural patterns.
    As for the openess to other people, yes that is a problem these days. There are people that will take advantage of that with little to no thought how you feel. I'm not sure what to suggest on that front other than approach and procceed with caution. People can not in many cases be trusted. I have to admit your openess to them is worrying. Can I suggest you asses these people first before getting 'friendly' with them?
    Finaly, I'm sure you will grow up in your own time when YOUR ready, not when the rest of the world dictates it to you. You raised yourself and your brother huh? Does that sound like the responsibilities and actions of a child?

    ..Just be wary of city people and understand they live in a rat race. This means they have little time, no patience and everything and anything has to be done like yesterday! Be reserved around people and take care. All the best :)

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    0
    0
  • DiscoDuck
    12 years ago

    Its normal if you are Japanese and under 40. They place great emphasis on the young [females] all that is cute and good is both young and female. Even the Kanji for favorite [daisuki] is composed of one for young and the other for female. That is no coincidence.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    0
    0
  • Angel_in_a_Glass_Dress
    12 years ago

    I would suggest getting therapy.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    0
    0
  • taurusgirl
    12 years ago

    im like that too hun x

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    0
    0
  • shuggy-chan
    12 years ago

    I like to say it normal but thats cause thats how i act too (i'm 22) I dont really put ur upbringing as an excuse for ur "acting". I had it like the exact opposite growing up.

    Its probly because u are a combo of needy, rebelious, and outgoing that u are precieved as "childish". I'm the EXACT same why and i find it to be unfair. Just because i am in constant need of attention and loud and and free-spirted doesn't make me inmature does it??? T_T

    Whatever i kinda like the way i am and although i try, for others sake, to limit my "childishness". i dont think i want to change into an "adult". whatever that is anyway. I say keep on with how u are, because 1. people mature in different areas at different speeds then others. And 2 if u and me are the same there, then there must be more of us right??? Support the cause, Fuk yea!!!! hahaha =P

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    0
    0