Hurt by others

Oh me too! Wish I could help you on this one. I try to live my life as to not expect anything from anyone. Which usually is the case from the people I know. But, darn it, it still gets me down from time to time. Someday it won't bother me.

I'm the same way :), so don't worry you ain't alone. The good thing about us people, is that we see the wood for the trees and pick up things that others don't.
Umm... let see.. what I'm trying to do at the moment ... is realise that you will have replayed situations in your head when you have quiet time to yourself. when you do this, try seeing yourself in the third person.think in the head of the other person and see where they are coming from. Once you have done this, decide whether you have over reacted to the situation. I'm finding its helping - ie seriously rethinking it from another angle. Try let it ride, once you feel you have overreacted.
Try that, or go to your docs and get some anti anxiety medication and see if you fare well on that

Also a hallmark of BPD is taking everything very seriously! The self-loathing also is a symptom. I hope you don't take what I say the wrong way. I can't diagnose you obviously, but maybe mention it to your therapist. A really good book that describes it well is Borderline Personality Disorder for Dummies. You'd be surprised how easy it is to miss this as a diagnosis.

Anyway, I feel for you. Hating yourself is hard to deal with whatever the cause. I'm sorry you're struggling so much. I wish you well.

Well, I wasn't thinking about Bipolar, I was thinking more Borderline Personality. It's very common and the hallmark of it is called splitting. First you really like yourself and then you really hate yourself. One minute you might feel very anxious and the next you might be depressed or angry. It's a swinging between extremes of feelings. It's actually becoming more and more common because of the way our society operates

But maybe your feelings have more to do with being a gay male. I have a good friend who is a gay male. He is in his sixties. He told me about some of these same struggles. His mother gave him what for and he was an outcast in his own family, not to mention the trouble he had with peers.

I don't know, I just think that anything that makes us "different" and really aren't we all...brings about some intense feelings. I think you should be proud of yourself and respect yourself for being able to talk about it.

Well it may or may not be normal. Can you give more details? Very intense emotions are not necessarily normal but they may be. From whom are the comments coming? What kinds of things are being said to you? Do you often feel you are swinging back and forth between two extremes of feelings? For example: happy and then sad, angry and then sad or anxious? Guilty and then feeling like you are a good person? Do you have trouble feeling consistently about activities or people? Have you experienced anything traumatic lately? Have you ever been abused? Are you female? And if so, do other females consider you to be very attractive and are they very jealous? All of these answers give clues as to what the problem is and whether or not what you're experiencing is normal. I might be able to help if you can answer some of them.

doesnt this apply to everyone tho? normal

Ok so your emotional how isnt that normal?
Ugh sometimes i wonder if people know their stories are normal and just want attention so they post the story.
But if they dont know its normal then the only unnormal thing about their story is that they dont know its normal.