How would you react to courtship by song?

8 Comments

I'm an attractive, bubbly person. I can write and sing quite well. I have feelings for a guy, so I wrote a song admitting my attraction and interest. I know he likes me too, but I don't know to what degree. I was thinking about performing(It involves an instrument) it for him at his work(a bar).

The song isn't creepy or stalkerish in any way. I made sure to keep it lighthearted and not at all worshiping or obsessive. Really, the lines pretty much just say "I like you, but don't know how you feel"(but not in those words of course).

In the song I tell him the song is about him, I only flatter him in a couple lines, I sample an artist he likes, I tell him to relax if the song makes him uncomfortable, and that it won't last long. I tell him I will be alright if he doesn't feel the same. For good measure, there are some jokes in it too.

But I don't know how he would react to it. I imagine someone I don't have feelings for coming in and doing the same thing. I know I would feel embarrassed for him and feel terrible. Even if it was an attractive friend/acquaintance. BUT! If it were this guy doing it, I would absolutely LOVE it.

So I feel like I shouldn't, but before I completely dismiss it, what do you guys think?

Oh my god, you are creepy 4
If the song is good, I'll at least be entertained 3
It could be romantic if the right person did it 11
I'm embarrassed for you, please stop 7
Extract myself from the situation immediately 3
At least I'll have a story to tell 4
Other 4
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Comments ( 8 )
  • TheBalance
    12 years ago

    I wouldn't do it if you aren't already close to him... You're kind of putting him in an awkward situation.

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    • AnalyticalAm
      12 years ago

      I'm fairly close to him, used to work with him. Known him for 5 years. He gives me way more feeling that he feels the same than not. I could give a bunch of evidence through example to support this thought, but I tend to be wordy enough without detailed events being tied in.

      Let's take that part out of the equation. What if I KNEW without a doubt he liked me back. Would showing up with a song still too weird and unusual?

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  • wistfulmaiden
    9 years ago

    I don't know...if you are really talented and you feel confident take him to karaoke and see how he reacts. If he likes it, maybe give it a try.
    I personally could never ever sing for anybody, Im horrible ! lol.

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  • AnalyticalAm
    12 years ago

    It's good to choose satisfying your hunger over your pride. :)

    My fear with friendship is he'll think, "oh, she just wants to be friends." I'm already afraid he is battling the "does she, does she not?" He is a lot like me, though a lot different too. He wasn't a popular kid in school, then suddenly he was. Same with me. It's is a shock to your system, because you never loose that feeling of self doubt. We are both very contemplative, analytical people who can be very outgoing. I see him display body language contrary to his outward confidence. I see us mirroring each other in trying to figure this out. It's like we are both dipping our toes in the water, but neither of us want to jump in first.

    I feel like he was going to ask me out one night, but I had just gotten back with my EX(to give him a second chance, which failed). He stopped in three times that night(at work), then he shows up as we lock the doors. My EX drove up. He didn't say anything, just stood awkwardly. My Coworker asked him questions, he had one word answers.

    I wish he would stop in more like he did the first time I left my EX, but he has two jobs now. I know exactly what days he stops in though, and without fail he is there. But I'm at work. So I don't get a chance to indulge in conversation with him often. It would be so much easier if I saw him more. I could play stupid and wrangle some girls for a girls night all innocently and stop in when he's there... But it feels wrong... And stalkerish.

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  • Crudhouse
    12 years ago

    Why don't you ask him out and after a couple of dates or something perform for him somwhere in private

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    • AnalyticalAm
      12 years ago

      I only see him at my work, and infrequently due to his work schedule. Also, I have no experience with real dating.

      My EX and I went to movies as friends, then when we hung out at his place until our relationship went further. I only know that dates are often restaurants or movies. I know guys often pay for these thing, which would make me very uncomfortable. Me saying, "Lets go on a date!" is like saying "Spend money on me!"

      If I sang the song, it could be romantic. It's a unique way of revealing I like him. Then it'll be up to him to ask me out if he likes me, too.

      I have about zero experience with this stuff. I just want to know what people think of the idea. Based on that, I may or may not do it.

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      • AnalyticalAm
        12 years ago

        Correction, we went on dates after we lived together. But I paid for myself most of the time. At that point it was more of a couples night than a date. He only paid for both our dinners when he started making more money. But I always offer to pay for myself. About 80% of the time he would let me.

        This other guy has bought me lunch at work(when we worked together) a couple times. When I tried to give him money he regarded it like a bad joke. On a few occasions I offered to buy him food when he had no money. I would bring up that I owe him and he dismissed it. He may have even sounded upset, saying that I don't owe him anything.

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        • Crudhouse
          12 years ago

          I'm exactly like the second guy (the one at work). I hate it when people pay for my stuff and I'm generally who pays for whoever I'm with (guys or girls). That being said, when I was in college I was broke all the time and girls paid for a lot of stuff for me. I wouldn't feel bad then cause I'd be salivating like crazy LOL.

          Anyway, I think that instead of 'asking him out' you might want to befriend him and see whether he'd like to go and do something fun, or just say that you're bored out of your mind and ask whether he'd go for a drink or the mall or something.

          I'm kind of a sissy so I wait until I'm over 80% sure that the girl likes me before making any move at all. I've lost a couple of girls to more adventurous guys because of this though, so it really is your call and what you're comfortable with.

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