How weirded out/bothered do you get when you see self-harm scars?

35 Comments

I'm 23, and I no longer self harm. I have scars on the inside of my left arm from when I was like 16-17, and I'm tired of worrying about them. They're not that bad because I never cut that deep, but there are quite a few of them in one spot and they are clearly visible. They don't really bother me, because I was like a totally different person when I did this, and I'm better now. I just don't want to spend the rest of my life worrying about covering up something I did when I was a teenager, you know?

VERY 4
It'd make me avoid someone. 3
Just a bit 19
Not at all 30
Other (comment) 6
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Comments ( 35 )
  • YandereChan
    8 years ago

    I don't judge anyone who has self-harm scars. Instead I feel sympathetic towards them, because I was there at one point myself.

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    • NeuroNeptunian
      8 years ago

      This.
      In my experience, the scars are there emotionally and psychologically just as much as they are physically.

      If there is anyone out there reading this right now who still actively cuts themselves or has done so recently: Stop. Get help. I understand that the cutting makes it seem as if the pain is somehow being transferred physically or as if you've sufficiently hurt physically to subdue the emotional pain but it's only a distraction. It is keeping you from getting to the root cause of why you feel the need to cause yourself that pain to begin with. The sooner you find that cause, the sooner you can actually get to a point in your life in which you don't need to self-harm in order to deal with reality.

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  • victorygin
    8 years ago

    Not weirded out at all. It makes you human, and it makes you the person you are.
    I could only really feel empathy, like lots of others have written.
    It's not something worth worrying about. And even really bad scars fade with time, anyway.

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  • Shrunk
    8 years ago

    I wouldn't care, but I don't think I could understand someone like that, don't get me wrong, I understand wanting to hurt yourself, but to make your suffering visible to others, I don't get...It takes a different kind of thinking that I don't have, hence why I don't think we would "get along" (I wouldn't dislike or avoid the person though)

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  • NeofelisNebulosa
    8 years ago

    I have quite a large collection of them on my thigh. I don't even notice them anymore but I don't wear shorts for fear of freaking other people out.

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  • NeuroNeptunian
    8 years ago

    Not at all because I have them all over.

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    • RoseIsabella
      8 years ago

      That's what I was thinking.
      ;-).

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  • G)d
    8 years ago

    I only ever cut myself twice, it was nearly a year ago. I have a few scars that are difficult to see (on my forearm), despite not covering it up (except for the first month after), no one in my family has noticed (they'd have said something). However, I do make a point not to move in ways that could put emphasis in that part of my arm.
    I do sometimes punch walls and get into fist fights at parties.
    Don't cut yourself, instead do what I do, binge drink!

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  • [Old Memory]
    8 years ago

    I don't really care. I think self-harm is a tad stupid regardless of the stupidity being understandable through the things that may of led people to take out their pain on themselves in the way they have, though. Many people go through things, worse things, and don't cut. People need to learn a bit of self-control.

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  • Ellenna
    8 years ago

    I understand on an intellectual level why people do this, but it would shock and upset me if I discovered someone I knew was doing it now, not so much if they'd done it in the past. I hope I wouldn't be judgmental and would be supportive after I'd got over the shock.

    Cutting is on a spectrum of self-harm and as a visible outward sign of inner pain, shocks most of us more than say, alcohoholism or drug addiction.

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  • itnogtm
    8 years ago

    it looked sexy on me

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  • (s)aint
    8 years ago

    I've never cut, but known too many that have done it.
    And I'm sorry, no matter how much I've heard their explanations and even myself been in positions where the emotional pain is overwhelming I still don't get it and I view these people as weird and would demand of them to not shove their fresh wounds in my face.

    Scars is still weird and will make me judge you, but I wont give you a hard time about it if they look old.

    An example; A girl I barely know sent me a picture of her sliced up leg with purple scars all over them just to "Show me why no one would want her" It's not so much the wounds and scars that irks me, but the attention-seeking behavior linked to it their far too many people display.

    If they truly bother you, get a tattoo to cover them up.

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    • NeofelisNebulosa
      8 years ago

      I made every attempt to hide mine, except to a close friend that I trusted. It was for her attention, but it was a cry for help. I was in high school and I was really in a bad place.

      They're all healed up now, but I still cover them usually. Not from shame, but just to spare others in case it makes them upset. :)

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      • (s)aint
        8 years ago

        That's how I first came across this behavior. The friend that I liked the most intentionally showed her wounds off.

        When she refused to get help or call/text me instead of cutting i unintentionally distanced myself from her to spare my own emotions (I`m sympathetic and sensitive)

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        • victorygin
          8 years ago

          I gotta point out, that really doesn't seem particularly sympathetic or sensitive.
          Though, I do understand to a point.

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          • (s)aint
            8 years ago

            Let me rephrase; I spare myself the emotional trauma of investing so much in someone that it makes it feel like pouring your energy into a black-hole.
            I value my own mental health too much to do that.
            These days I distance immediately when I get to know someone and he or she self-harm. We can be friends, sure but I wont get too invested.

            It's just too much of a bother.

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            • victorygin
              8 years ago

              I do know what you mean; it's idealistic to think you can give, give, give. In reality, some people will just suck suck the life out of you.
              Just the way it was phrased stood out to me.

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        • NeofelisNebulosa
          8 years ago

          My friend told the school administration and then I was forced to get counseling. Ultimately it led to me getting better and then I stopped doing it, so I'm glad she decided to tell them. It can be VERY difficult to quit. I don't know if I would have recovered without the counseling.

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          • (s)aint
            8 years ago

            So now afterwards you are grateful that your friend told someone?
            This old friend of mine walked about in her school with her cuts very much visible too so I doubt her school would have cared.

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            • NeofelisNebulosa
              8 years ago

              Yeah, I was mad at her at first, but in the long run she did it out of love and concern, and I've been cut-free for years now. My school cared a lot about stuff like that.

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  • shuggy-chan
    8 years ago

    As someone that never "cut" i don't judge them. I just judge them on how they are currently. Besides im not one to talk, my youthful self harm was more stupid. I just to punch walls, like walls that i had no right hitting. Broke and sprained a few things and also apologize to those walls now

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  • ArmusWasTheFirstTroll
    8 years ago

    Both of my arms are completely covered. I have stopped caring about what others think. I see my scars as something I had to get through to become the person I currently am. I have no regrets about my past.

    That being said, I am an artist and this doesn't affect me much. In a business setting, I might cover them up. My scars don't do well to inspire trust in others; a trait necessary to progress in many professions.

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    • Arm0se
      8 years ago

      Are you really? I'd like to see some of your work! :D

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      • ArmusWasTheFirstTroll
        8 years ago

        I am currently a student filmmaker :)

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  • ______________
    8 years ago

    Every commenter so far is/was an emo apparently... the stupidity of the act of harming oneself is beyond me :)
    Anyhow, I would be weirded out by scars, just because they don't tell many good things about one's intelligence or state of mind, and moreover they are indeed ugly.

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    • TrustMeImLying
      8 years ago

      you'll change that mindset when you get to -personally- know someone who does, and try to understand the why, instead of regurgitating youtube comments or "common internet opinions." I too naively used to think people did it for attention or that it was stupid until I met one of my closest friends years ago. I didnt know that she cut until after I had known her for ~3 years. and that too because she slipped up after which I asked. she hid it incredible well all those years. emo? think again

      you notice only the "emo" cutters, the majority actually hide their act/scars and don't broadcast it. feel free to make comments. you think lowly of cutters, fair enough. but to pass judgment and attribute it to their intelligence, or lack thereof, destroys any credibility of your own intelligence :-)

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      8 years ago

      Are you like 14 or what? Sounds like it.

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      • ______________
        8 years ago

        I'll have you know, that I am not in fact 14. How could you insult me like that, George? I think I'll go cut myself because that's going to solve all my problems.

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        • deshikd
          8 years ago | pl

          FYI, talking about things you clearly don't understand or know anything about also doesn't tell many good things about your intelligence.

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          • ______________
            8 years ago

            Yeah, I know I don't understand it. You need to be super intelligent and mature to do cut yourself, and I'm still so young and inexperienced.
            (BTW, that was sarcasm)

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  • xxzoexx17
    7 years ago

    I don't feel any sort of hatred or weirdness towards anyone who self harms. I have done it before but I was too scared and did it lightly so it healed over and I have no scars. My best friend has cut and so has my sister (I just found out) and my best friend showed me. It actually makes me very sad and I want to help them.

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  • ScaredOfMyOwnShadow
    8 years ago

    I dont judge because im in the same boat. I have struggled with self harm for over 11 years. I started when i was 11 n im 22 now. I have many scars up n down my arms.

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  • RoyRogers
    8 years ago

    I dont care really *shrug*

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  • GiveMeAFuckingNameAlready!
    8 years ago

    I just think the person is an idiot then carry on with my life.

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  • theseeker
    8 years ago

    In my opinion, when I see something like that it bothers me because it quite obviously creates one problem on top of another. It's completely irrational. It may be some kind of temporary fix because it takes away the emotional pain temporarily, but then it just comes back again. So, what have you fixed? You've dug deeper holes and you will have to face the consequences.

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