How to throw out the fat guy complexes? (is this the actual problem?)

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3 Comments

I am a male, almost 25. I was always above average looking, but used to be fat during my teenage years and a bit later. Like really fat! I was shy and also felt inferior. I was really bad with conversations to both sexes. Few friends, introvert and a bit spiritual, pescimistic. I never had any expirience talking with girls till I was at university (22 years old) and away form home. Then I had the oportunity to meet a lot of people and make aquintances. Still though insecure as I was a fat bastard with long hair. Then a girl appoached me with the pretext of wanting a good friend because her ex's were "the worst". Well I was happy to help out and she went for a kiss, but I wasnt ready even after 4 months of our friendship. She left and I felt even worse. Anyway, uni ended, I was still a virgin and with no relationship expirience (kisses etc included), even if i tried to iniciate some.

I went to the army and tried to change my life (people there though I was gay! :S ). Now I am slim and muscular. Girls turn around and look at me as I pass by. Even my young neighbourhood girl friend (that we know each other for like 10 years) tried to make out with me this summer and yet I was unable to go for it.

I believe that the problem is that I came back to my parents house, because I cant afford to live by myself and jobs are sparse were I live at (I am also a slob from time to time). By moving back in, the fat guy complexes are back and the pathetic me is occupying my head and I cant do anything about them. I am so fucked up (relationship wise but not only) nowdays, that even when I see a girl checking me out, I close down completely or start small talks etc.

HELP!

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71% Normal
Based on 17 votes (12 yes)
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Comments ( 3 )
  • Suru_stuborn
    6 years ago

    It happens bro. I am 24yrs guy...Girls do stare at me..they call me I am handsome and look like a Playboy but the reality is I am Fukin virgin... although I come from Engineering back ground though..when they ask me how many girlfriends do u have I say 3 or 4 juz to show them that yes I am cool kinda of guy...but in reality I don't even know how to make a girl friend ..I am very direct in terms of dealing with a gal..I say wats in my mind about her. And then she either stop taking with me or she juz don't want to talk about in that matter...all I do is I switch to another girl and it continues...I don't know how wat to do..?

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  • Ellenna
    9 years ago

    I know this will sound picky but how can you be a (graduated?) university student and spell so badly?

    If you can't afford therapy to deal with your low self- esteem, get yourself a book on Cognitive Behaviour Therapy from the library, one with exercises you can do and do them .... you need some tools to shut up those negative voices in your head and replace them with true positive statements.

    If you're not working and can't get a job, you're also probably bored. RawSodium's suggestion of volunteering for something useful is an excellent one: find somewhere you are valued and it'll help you learn to value yourself.

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  • TrustMeImLying
    9 years ago

    Have you never tried to figure out why you've been so unable, so reluctant and slow towards anything intimate? If you are the kind of guy that needs to really like or connect with a girl before going any further, let the girl know.

    I knew a girl who was out of a job and so she volunteered as a firefighter for a couple of years. Why not do the same or similar? At least you make connections which can spark a job, it's what happened for her. It's a hundred times better than sitting at home and letting your old "fat boy complex" trickle into your life.

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