How to hide sex toys from roommate?

57% Normal
22 Comments

I need some help here. My roommate and I are kinda tight. Like I'm his best friend. But he gets weirded out with sex and shit even sex jokes make him cringe and I have recently ordered a bunch of sex toys online and really, really don't want him to find out. Some things are hard to hide because their a little large. Please help me avoid losing a friend and awkwardness galore. How should I hide these?

Voting Results
57% Normal
Based on 14 votes (8 yes)
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Comments ( 22 )
  • Meowypowers
    4 years ago

    If your roomate is opening your packages (pun intended) you have bigger problems (more puns intended).

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    • Doesnormalmatter
      4 years ago

      But once their open where do I store them?

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  • [Old Memory]
    4 years ago

    Stretch out your asshole and stuff them in there. If he asks why you’re bulging at the hips just tell him it’s a genetic disorder.

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    • Doesnormalmatter
      4 years ago

      That would never fit plus I gotta clean them

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  • bleedingdiarrhea
    4 years ago

    In your ass, duh!

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    • Doesnormalmatter
      4 years ago

      Ball gag? Enema bag? Multiple different plugs? Entire tubes of lube? Hand cuffs? Prostate massage remote?

      Maybe one thing one time but not a long term solution.

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  • RandomNumbers
    4 years ago

    under your bed in a locked box would be good. Get two padlocks and a opaque box big enough to fit your stuff and small enough so you can hide it under your bed or wardrobe. Make to holes on opposite sides of the box and lock it with your padlocks. Even if he finds the box, there is no way he would be able to know what's inside

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  • TerriAngel
    4 years ago

    Boundries.
    Privacy.
    Knowone should feel free to search your belongings.
    That said, Im just the type that would place an item or 2 out of sight.
    But easy to find.
    Then hope a ni₩¥a does say something.
    Because then, its on.
    Its out in the open.
    WTF is this person doing snooping in your area?

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  • donteatstuffoffthesidewalk
    4 years ago

    if yall gots a fleshlight yall should git some flowers and use it as a vase

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  • megadriver
    4 years ago

    Put them in a box marked "Radioactive waste" and put a radioactive sticker on it, or stick with the classic "Do not open until X-mas" XD

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    • Doesnormalmatter
      4 years ago

      But reverse psychology.

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  • Cuntsiclestick
    4 years ago

    I have a locked chest with sex toys that I keep in the closet. It used to be under the bed, but I have a mouse issue atm. Perhaps get a locked chest for the closet or bed?

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    • Doesnormalmatter
      4 years ago

      Locked chest. That's a good idea right there. I would need to buy one but that might be a good idea at some point. I do have one locking drawer but its tiny and almost full so there's no way I could fit everything.

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  • litelander8
    4 years ago

    Does he trifle through your shit or what?

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    • Doesnormalmatter
      4 years ago

      Yes sometimes. A lot of our storage space is kinda shared to.

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      • Boojum
        4 years ago

        Am I right in thinking you're in college? I guess in a dorm?

        I find it very odd that you seem to be saying that there's absolutely nowhere in your shared space that's actually your own, and your roommate rummages through your things at will. Leaving aside your sex toy conundrum, that sounds like a recipe for conflict somewhere down the line. You need to agree boundaries and privacy rules.

        And are you seriously saying you can't do something like keep a locked carry-on suitcase under your bed or somewhere else in your room?

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        • Doesnormalmatter
          4 years ago

          Yes its a college dorm. A very small one. We get along really well I've known him since freshman year. We kinda both have too much stuff as well. But the suitcase thing gave me an idea though I can put them in there and shove it under the couch.

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  • LOLFanProductions
    4 years ago

    Bet he's still a virgin LOL

    Anyway... is he really your friend if you guys can't tell sex jokes, even occasionally?

    My advice would be to hide them in your underwear drawer. If he does find out the worst scenario would be awkwardness. Besides, a girls gotta do what a girls gotta do 🤷‍♀️💁‍♀️

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    • Doesnormalmatter
      4 years ago

      Wrong, and.... wrong. I'm actually a guy. Don't think only girls have sex toys! Also not a virgin although struggling to get any action this year so far.

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    • Clunk42
      4 years ago

      How do you know op's a girl?

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      • Doesnormalmatter
        4 years ago

        Thanks my guy! People think only girls have sex toys but that's very wrong.

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      • LOLFanProductions
        4 years ago

        Good point

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