How to handle someone with herpes?

19 Comments

I met a guy we have been talking for about 6-7 months, we were talking online he lived only 20 minutes away and would always back out when we were supposed to meet. At first I thought I was being catfished but no he revealed to me about 2 months in that he contracted oral herpes from a previous relationship with a cheating girl. He is very sweet and honest and I like what we have however he would like to become my boyfriend and take things to a further level. I really like him and the fact that he has an STI should not bother me however I do worry about my health considering if we do date and don’t work out I don’t want to be sick for the rest of my life off of one mistake. I just need an honest opinion if it’s worth the risk. He takes his medicine and has never had an outbreak. Any advice?

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Comments ( 19 )
  • RoseIsabella
    5 years ago

    Ask a doctor about what to do.

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  • Fetiza000
    5 years ago

    Show them the Family Guy episode of Brian's herpes.

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  • [Old Memory]
    5 years ago

    I have herpes, it shows up like 3-4 times a year on my mouth. It was more often when I was a kid. I think I was just born with it, anyways not inherited through sexual contact. My girlfriend also had it once, after we got together, so she must have it from me. It didn't bother her. Not sure what type is and whether it's different from his, but she never complained about it, it was gone in a week or so. I love her so much.

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      5 years ago

      You mean the outbreak was gone in a week? Because herpes is incurable whether it’s genital or oral. There are other kinds but they are all lifelong. The guy I’m mentioning has HSV1 which is oral herpes it doesn’t bother him however he does not want to infect me which is why he is being considerate. I do admire how you and your girlfriend are though, you’re both strong. I just don’t know if I could be that strong for him.

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      • [Old Memory]
        5 years ago

        I don't really know. It appears in my lower lip once per season or less. She had it once on her lower lip too. I have no idea about the details. I also was considerate, I avoided kissing her when I had it on my lip, but it just happened somehow. You can't really control this and I wouldn't spend my life being careful with that just because I was unfortunate enough to be born with it. I didn't have sex with whores or anything, it's just how I am.

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        • Anonymous Post Author
          5 years ago

          Yeah but it’s okay, you can’t spend your life being afraid, this guy has sex with one girl and got it. Some people end up unlucky. It sucks.

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          • [Old Memory]
            5 years ago

            Everytime I have it on my lip I watch this: https://youtu.be/qyICvEulcZM

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  • Tealights
    5 years ago

    Go to the doctor and get vaccinated for HPV and such. Herpes really can't be helped, you can be careful by avoiding contact with him during an outbreak, but it's really hit or miss.

    The reason why I suggest HPV vaccination is due certain types can cause cancer in women, and men can carry it without knowing. His ex was nasty, and you don't know what she gave him.

    Along with that, have him go in for testing. If he really wants to be your boyfriend and cares about you, he'll do it. Don't make that mistake of listening to him when he says he's not carrying anything else.

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      5 years ago

      But he is carrying something; HSV 1. From my time being with him he hasn’t had an outbreak. When he got it he did go get tested and that’s what he came out positive for. He takes something called anti virals . I’m doing my own research but we spoke today and we both agreed on no kissing and no sex. Not until we see a doctor.

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      • Tealights
        5 years ago

        I meant something more than herpes lol.

        Anyway, good that he doesn't have anything else, but still ask your doctor about hpv and such, cause it's hard to test in men. Good luck.

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        • Anonymous Post Author
          5 years ago

          Oh okay and thank you

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  • Necron
    5 years ago

    Cold sores? Yeah, not that bad. Hell, since it's oral all you really need to do to avoid getting it is make sure dishes get washed and avoid contact with any sores (including through oral sex, of course.) Just don't touch around his mouth when he's breaking out and you'll be fine.

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      5 years ago

      Well he doesn’t have outbreaks at all he takes his medicine. The most we did was hold hands and even after I wash my hands.

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  • Fluteplayer101
    5 years ago

    I mean I know what the disease is, and I am a black woman so I guess my risk is considered “higher” or whatever. Basically are you trying to say I probably have it I just don’t know it yet? Or will eventually get it? I never had a cold sore in my life actually.

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  • angryblonde
    5 years ago

    I was given genital herpes by my cheating boyfriend and this gives me hope. To the best of my knowledge, as long as he isn’t having an outbreak, it can’t be transmitted. You have to touch the open sore for it to spread to you. I there’s tons of people that have herpes of the mouth..

    I just want to say you give me hope.. Maybe someone will love me one day despite my herpes

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    • Fluteplayer101
      5 years ago

      Despite your herpes someone will definitely love you one day and if you ever want to talk feel free to hit me up I do not judge whatsoever he is truly an amazing guy and wants nothing but to make me happy and I’d love to be with him. I just want to make sure I don’t put myself in jeopardy and he completely understands considering he had gave it to another girl despite not knowing because he never had symptoms and still doesn’t. It’s almost dormant. Despite it all his disease doesn’t define him and that includes you. It is not you.

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      • angryblonde
        5 years ago

        Thank you so much. God bless you.

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        • Fluteplayer101
          5 years ago

          Anytime hun anytime!

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  • xxLucifer
    5 years ago

    Herpes isn't really that bad. 80% - 90% of people in the US have been exposed to Herpes Simplex Virus Type 1 and 30% - 50% don't get signs or symptoms after becoming infected. It's really up to you though if you want to have a relationship with that guy.

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