How to get someone off your mind?

8 Comments

For some strange reason, I can't get a really toxic ex-friend out of my head. I don't even know why. Some days I do great, but others, I miss the person they once were (or at least who I thought they were, but it seems it was all lies) and miss them a lot. I have just blocked their social media profiles so nothing gets shared into my feed by mutual friends and they don't get suggested as a friend, and I've just deleted all old texts, photos, etc. so I'm not tempted to look back and reminisce. I feel that having any reminders just picks at the scabs of our lost friendship, and I don't want that.

I try to push them out of my mind, but if I start feeling lonely (COVID has really put a damper on some of my plans and I've been more lonely than usual), they creep back into my mind. I'm trying to keep busy and distract myself, but it's hard. I've been getting better day by day, but I want to finally put this behind me and feel peace about it, and move on and enjoy my life. I'm tired of this person still having power over me when they're not even present in my life anymore.

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Comments ( 8 )
  • RoseIsabella
    3 years ago

    You need to mourn the loss of this friendship, and turn this person over to to the care of God so that you can truly be done with this person. I think your feelings are normal. It's normal to grieve the loss of a friend, even if it's one who turned out to be a toxic person. I don't know you, but wish all the best for you. I know it ain't easy, dear heart!

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      3 years ago

      Thank you so much, it means a lot.

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      • RoseIsabella
        3 years ago

        You're very welcome! 🙂

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  • CDmale4fem
    3 years ago

    I was gonna say the best way to get over someone is to get under another someone, but you didnt mention gender or details to help determine. But yea, dont burn or destroy things. Years ago when i divorced my 1st wife i was really pissed off one day. I took all the pictures i could find and took them to the back yardand lit them on fire. Burned them all till they were just ash blowing in the breeze. I regret that so much. As you get older and can settle the thoughts and deal with the feelings on a level thats easy for you, at some point you might look back and have good memories.

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      3 years ago

      Thanks, I just deleted everything because this person turned out to be extremely toxic and somehow I didn't realize it until many years into our friendship. Looking back through our old texts, they were so manipulative and always trying to put me down. I don't think I'll look back fondly on being manipulated and deceived by this person, or how stupid I was to believe they were my friend in the first place. I felt as if I was going back through those texts and pictures too much and it was only making me feel worse.

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      • CDmale4fem
        3 years ago

        I hear ya. Im still cutting the fat so to speak, these people that want to just take take take. But when theres times they need to step up and be "adult", they are to busy looking to get high again and stick that nasty ass needle in their arm again. I tried to, or so i thought, help her realize that life isnt fair, theres no free rides, etc. She doesnt want to work, let alone even look for work. Shes 30 yrs old. I realuze she is manipulative, lazy(unless its something she wants), she steals from others but by golly she gets very pissed if her stuff is taken from her. She has this sense of entitlement that she feels she can do whatever, steal, lie, and everything else pretty muvch. A couple yrs ago she told me "never trust a heroine addict" and no shes one that cannot ever be trusted again. I wouldnt puss in her mouth if her tonsils were on fire. I am done with this person.

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        • Anonymous Post Author
          3 years ago

          I'm sorry about your friend. It really sucks when you try to help people and they're too too selfish and lazy to do anything for themselves. I also hate the take take take. I've noticed there's a lot of people in the world who are bad about that.

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  • LloydAsher
    3 years ago

    To continue living without any trace of said person left to remind you of them. My ex giften be a funder mifflin paper company glass for my birthday. My brother needed a glass for his room for college. Guess who got a new glass?

    I would object to destroying any object that someone gave or left to you since often the act of destroying it gives you more of a memory of it than the object itself. And thus you are even more constantly faced with the same memory of the person.

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