How to communicate with someone?

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Hi im not good at displaying emotions. And afraid get hurt again and again :(
Now a guy I like this is happening with and for the second time with him but the first time was long ago. He really likes me hes said, he wants us too meet again but I just get annoyed everytime because of covid because you have to follow the rules, rules exist for a reason. I get so upset... Now hes talking to me less and I realize im not doing anything right....I get annoyed because hes shy and bad at communicating and me, I am too...Usually I talk to people who have good communication skills, its because I dont need to do anything lol, they just talktalktalk and dont notice my lacking skills. I guess now I have to make effort so what do you do? How do you talk about things and what do you say ? What is the boundry between pushy and normal ? When you flirt what do you say, what is creepy and what isnt ? How do you talk about deep things, where to start ? You just philosopihize something out of the blue ? Thats not weird ?
How to tell a guy he wont get a sexy time when he comes to see you ? Its weird to say this and offensive like I think hes a creep ? Do other human beings share their worries with someone they're interested in ? Or you should say the best things all the time and not be embarrassing ? Whats the boundry for what you can share about your worries and not ? What is whiny and what is normal ? If a guy sends you his selfie how do you compliment it ? Is it normal to tell a guy you like him ? How do I know what hes thinking ?

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Comments ( 1 )
  • olderdude-xx
    2 years ago

    One of the side effects of the texting, and many aspects of the internet is that people have generally not been able to learn how to communicate well with most people.

    So many people want short one sentences answers to complicated questions. It often actually takes at least a few paragraphs to answer a complicated question with any detail beyond "it depends" type answers.

    Or they want to watch a short video on the subject so they can become and expert. Sorry, it does not work that way. It takes time to practice to learn to do something.

    When I grew up there was no cell phones, no internet, etc.

    While you could talk on the phone - most houses only had 1 phone line, and only 1 phone in the house. Dual and triple phones, on the same line, in a house did not start to commonly appear until about the early 1970's. I never say a house with 2 different phone lines growing up.

    The only way to learn to talk and communicate was to meet people and do things with them.

    Even then, there was a need for good advice on how not to offend people and how to start and maintain a conversation.

    "How to Win Friends and Influence People" by Dale Carnegie was a best seller for many decades.

    I highly recommend its modern update "How to Win Friends and Influence People in the Digital Age" by Dale Carnegie and Associates.

    Then its a matter of practice, and rereading the book and learning more (I typically read the original and now the update every year... and I'm still far from a perfect communicator - but I am way way better than when I started).

    There are other self-help books on learning to communicate as well - and they all have decent advice. But, you'll likely do best with the classic standard from which all the others were built upon.

    Unfortunately, I have no quick answer to totally solve your issues with this young man you are interested in.

    But, some of the things in the book may be enough to change things once you read the book, and with practice and learning what works for you you can likely become good at communication with some time aspects of communication are always personal - what fits you); and expert at it with a few years of working on it.

    You have a lot of your life ahead of you... You will maximize your options and possibilities if you learn to communicate well.

    I wish you the best with this,

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