How should i take my boyfriends jokes?

7 Comments

He's mentioned threesomes a few times & recently brought up candulism.

If I say something, he’ll say that he's just “fucking with” me. He (apparently) has a dry sense of humor, & I have a hard time knowing if he's joking or serious.

He told me in the past that he divorced his wife because she cheated. (“That just about killed me. I thought she loved me. I don't share well.”)

For my part, I am strictly monogamous. I view sex as a sacred act between two people who care for each other.

However, out of insecurity, I've made comments about other women (& recently - after his mentioning candulism - about a local “swingers club”) & he’ll respond with “no” or “whatever.”

I don't know how to take these “jokes.” (I certainly HOPE that they are jokes.) I can't help but feel hurt & insecure.

He's joking. 5
He's not joking. 9
He's testing you. 19
OTHER 0
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Comments ( 7 )
  • Anonymous Post Author
    7 years ago

    Maybe he's insecure like me. Maybe it's his way of making sure I won't cheat.

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  • MOm-type
    7 years ago

    If I tell my thought, would it make me sound too serious? I'm not sure..

    What gets two people together are similar interests, similar values, similar backgrounds. If you and your bf don't hold on similar interests, this will cause problems in your future life together, either one of you needs to change your interest for the counter party. In your case, you need to talk directly with your bf and see if he really thinks about 3some, and see if he would want to change thought for you.

    Usually guys thinking about 3some, they would make it happen as possible as they can and they tend to want more things later on. If you could't agree with him, it means you two are really not matching with each other. Love can't conquer the sex driven (as you see so many physical cheating in the rlsp).

    and Side words, porn industry is really bad and shit.

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  • Ellenna
    7 years ago

    If his joking bothers you and he continues with it after you tell him so, he's not respecting you.

    You could try not reacting, because he may be doing it to stir you, or you could pretend to enthusiastically go along with it and see how he responds to that.

    It sounds like a silly childish game on his part. If he wants to do these things why not say so seriously and if he doesn't why joke that he does?

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    • charli.m
      7 years ago

      "Pretend to enthusiastically go along with it"

      Childish game to match?

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  • Fandjango
    7 years ago

    Most men think they are into/would like threesome s , most couldn't hack it in reality. About the candles and swing aerobics club tell him you'll join in too(if your sure you'd like it) good exercise if nothing else .
    All the best.

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    • Ellenna
      7 years ago

      Hey, I thought candalism would be about candles too, but it's not: it's actually spent candaulism and is about sharing a partner sexually with others, either in reality or via pictures, etc.

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  • TrustMeImLying
    7 years ago

    I could write a huge paragraph about how I too am all about dry humor yet in truth I am simply trolling/pranking people for their reactions. Or how sometimes it's a test too of how well someone knows me etc etc etc

    But the important question here is have you told him that his jokes make you feel hurt and insecure?

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