How should i deal with a guy that is always late or just doesn't care?

6 Comments

This might sound really stupid, but here I go anyway: I have been texting this guy for about a month, and although we met a few times, it was never in a "date" setting. Yesterday, we had planned to meet each other to a bar around 9, cause I had something later in the night. It was obviously a date, and both of us knew it.

I went there with two of my girlfriends, thinking when N (as I'll call him) would get there, my friends would go on with their night somewhere else. I waited there until 9:30 with my friends before I texted him, asking if he was gonna stand me up. He replied about 10 minutes later apologizing and saying he was about to leave his place, which is a good 20 minutes away by bus. So, he was at least 1 hour late already. Naturally, I got pissed, and told him I was through with it. He replied right after, saying he was nervous so he got high with his friends, and forgot about the date. I broke things off with him completely at that point, asking him not to call me or text me in the future, because he obvious didn't care. I got on with my night with my girls.

A good two hours later, he texted me that he was at another bar, asking me to come join him. Obviously, I got even more pissed and refused, asking him AGAIN not to text me anymore.

This morning, however, I kinda feel bad. I really like this guy, but he seems to generally never care about anything. I tried to talk him into stopping weed, but he doesn't care at all about my arguments. He's constantly late (to work, to school, to hang outs with his friends, etc). I know it's completely useless to try to talk him into things, cause he'll feel cornered and he'll back away from me.

Since I don't work with him or go to school with him, I have no other contacts with him other than text messages and a few friends we have in common, so I don't know what to do at this point. I want to text him, but it'd feel like I'm letting him win a situation in which he's obviously very wrong. At the same time, I'm afraid he'll actually never text me back after I told him twice not to yesterday...

What should I do? I don't think I would be able to just move on from him at this point.

Teach him a lesson. (How? in the comments) 6
Forget about him, and move on. 28
It's not your problem, you can't do anything. 15
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Comments ( 6 )
  • Justsomejerk
    11 years ago

    He probably does care about you (or wants to have sex with you at the very least) but he is a lazy stoner who is late for everything.

    If you want to be with this guy and can accept him for who he is and what he does without changing him call him and tell him how what he did made you feel, but you want to try again.

    If you don't want to be with a tardy stoner, call him and tell him how what he did made you feel, and you don't think it will work.

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  • Cobi48
    11 years ago

    Show him that there are consequences for his actions in life. If he's late, don't be there...and don't accept constant excuses...if you do, you will never be happy with him.

    And, don't accept the "poor me, I don't mean to be this way" routine...that's called enabling.

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  • Gravy
    11 years ago

    Ferks me why decent gorgeous girls always seem to want dead beat arsehole men. Pussythecat, maybe you give an expert insight?

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  • robbieforgotpw
    11 years ago

    If youre with him You can become a stoner too.

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  • NeuroNeptunian
    11 years ago

    I'm with the other posters. He's a lazy stoner and doesn't give a fuck and you won't change him.

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  • wigsplitz
    11 years ago

    Don't waste your time and effort. Obviously he doesn't care about you.

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