How often should i message ?

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18 Comments

I’ve been on 3 dates with one guy and it’s been really nice I’d like to keep seeing him and talking to him. He’s always been terrible at messaging. I asked him about it and he said he means nothing by it. Sometimes he’ll just stop or something and I’m left thinking is he interested ? We had our third date on Saturday. It was great. He put his hand on my leg in the car and me being the daft bitch I am didn’t know what to do. I screwed the last relationship up with lack of affection. He spoke to me on the Sunday... and today I didn’t hear anything but I wanted to see if he made an effort to message then I knew he would be interested.
He works a lot, and has a busy job. So he can’t get a couple of mins everyday where he can send a message.
He messaged after work saying ‘hey how’s your day been’ we sent a couple each way now he hasn’t replied for an hour but he’s been online on Facebook. So I’m probably overthinking.
Is he interested? Isn’t he?
He’s said things like he’s enjoyed the dates etc. Just the whole messaging thing is bothering me cause I feel like a pest keep messaging... but if he was into me he’d be wanting to message more??

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Comments ( 18 )
  • kelili
    5 years ago

    You're overthinking. Sometimes i appear online on FB when in fact I am sleeping. I'm not the message type and I don't like to chat by messages because it is so easy to misinterpret the message. If you want to hear from him just call him and talk. No need to ask yourself one million question. If it doesn't work with him you'll eventually find another guy and start all over.

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      5 years ago

      I just feel like if he’s interested he would be looking at his phone all the time for me ? Or asking to meet up. I don’t know he will stop messaging and then start a new one it’s over snapchat so it’s a little awkward.

      Say I was to say ‘what we doing this weekend then?’ Or something I’d feel embarrassed because what if he doesn’t want to do anything ?

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      • kelili
        5 years ago

        People are different. You should just text him. If you want to hang with him during the week ends just propose. It's either yes or no. Then you'll have all the answer that you need. If he's not interested you'll find out soon enough and you can just move on.

        Hope it works out cause he seems like a mature man.

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        • Anonymous Post Author
          5 years ago

          The thing is I’ve been hurt before and I’m shit with people.
          And asking him to do something is like woah I’m putting myself on the line what if he thinks wtf?
          He’s very mature, no idea why he’s taken me on 3 dates he is way out of my league!

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          • kelili
            5 years ago

            He took you on 3 dates because he feels good with you. We have all been in relationships where we have either hurt or been hurt but this rarely stops us from trying again and again. This is what is so interesting about human being. Don't overthink. I know that what I'm telling you is hard to do but do it anyway.

            Whatever happens, "still like air you'll rise"

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            • Anonymous Post Author
              5 years ago

              Thanks you’re right... I asked him last night what he was doing this weekend, he said a few things and I said if your plans get cancelled and you fancy doing something let me know.

              He said we could go for a walk if you want I’ll be glad of a couple of quiet days (he works a lot)

              But if I hadn’t of asked it probably wouldn’t be happening. But I still feel like he isn’t interested. He hasn’t messaged at all today... where I just want to talk to him.

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  • Ellenna
    5 years ago

    You're going to drive yourself nuts and drive him away with all this overthinking and neediness.

    If he puts his hand on your leg again and you want to respond either put your hand over his and smile at him or put your hand on his leg.

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      5 years ago

      What about texting ? When he doesn’t text for hours ?

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      • Ellenna
        5 years ago

        So he doesn't text for hours, so what?

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  • TheOishome
    5 years ago

    Holy shit this is so me! Not you the guy!!
    Okay so basically he is definitely interested because I've been him so many times. I absolutely hate texting so I just barely do it I go on my phone and answer texts twice to three times a day that's it, it's not intentional I'm just busy and never prioritize it and the only time I ever activity send a text asking how someone is it's because I'm trying to tic that being interested box. That's acc him showing he's interested.
    I relate to this so hard rn I'm 99% sure my guy is just not a texter, believe it or not even though texting is 100% the norm in our time some people just aren't into it.
    Such as me and your fella, I know if I was him I would hate if the girl thought I wasn't interested because I never text. Go by how he acts in person. He definitely likes you, he just isn't a texter

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      5 years ago

      But you’d have thought he would be wanting to text me if he liked me or asking to meet up?

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      • TheOishome
        5 years ago

        He is texting you!? That's why he said "how are you" I never initiate a text conversation unless I'm very interested in the person trust me he likes you

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        • Anonymous Post Author
          5 years ago

          But I have to wait all day?
          And this Thursday I asked what he was doing this weekend... and I said if your plans get cancelled and you fancy doing something let me know.
          He said we could go for a walk if you like a couple of chill days would be nice.

          Anyway we both ended up working Saturday and he text me the Friday night asking how my day was

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          • TheOishome
            5 years ago

            Yep that sounds perfectly fine to me, im not sure what the problem is tbh

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            • Anonymous Post Author
              5 years ago

              If he was interested he would message though... reading my message and still being online isn’t good.

              I tend to cut short people I’m not into.

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  • nikkiclaire
    5 years ago

    He is interested. Chill out.

    Also, it wouldn't be too forward to ask if he wants hang out this weekend. Go for it!!

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  • Lestat565
    5 years ago

    Just cause he doesn’t message you doesn’t mean he’s not interested. I don’t like texting that much but that’s just me. He might not have anything to say. Or think that it’s unneeded. You also don’t have to wait for him to ask you out.

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  • Anonymous Post Author
    5 years ago

    Also should I wait for him to ask me out ?

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