How many sexual partners is normal for a woman to have in her lifetime
| zero | 0 | |
| one | 3 | |
| no more than 5 | 6 | |
| no more than 10 | 8 | |
| Any number is normal | 27 |
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Comments ( 29
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dirtybirdy
Ya it depends. Let's say she starts sleeping around when she's 16 at the rate of one guy per week. By the time she's twenty the number would be over 200. Seems excessive but is it? Or one dude a month would still be almost 50 guys in four years. Sounds like a lot but is it? Even one guy per year for 60 years would sound like a lot to many people but is it?!?!?! So it depends on a lot of factors and variables and all that jizz. I mean jazz
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andreth
one guy a year doesn't sound very healthy (I mean mentally) if you do that your whole life...
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dirtybirdy
Agreed. Just an example. I mean if a woman did do that for even just twenty years so many people would look at her as a whore. What?! You've slept with 20 guys ?!?!! Its so stupid. But a guy would be a legend. Some people must think its ok to stick but not to get stuck . Stupid double standards .
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RapidlyRotatingPanda
I know a guy who is 20, who has slept with over 100 women already, and although I agree that is mightily impressive, people sort of treat it as a negative thing.
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dirtybirdy
It is treated negatively but it shouldn't always be. I guess it all depends on how the person goes about it. You can still be a respectable person who happens to like a variety of flavors, and often. There are those who are just nasty, but not all of them. And as long as its not rape, what's the big deal. Its not something people should brag about though. It should be kept somewhat personal I believe.
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andreth
A legend? IDK... definitely not in MY eyes. Maybe a bunch of immature 14 year old boys would think such a person worthy of admiration.
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dirtybirdy
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VioletTrees
Do you mean that that's too many? Some people have sex drive but are aromantic, meaning that they have no capacity for romantic relationships. As long as they use protection, I don't really see what's wrong with it. Also, it could be somebody who's in a relationship, but who brings in a third for a threesome once a year.
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FocoUS
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VioletTrees
It's possible that the OP is a woman who wants to know if her number of partners is normal, but on the whole, I you're right. You see a lot more "How many sexual partners should a woman have?" things (both here and elsewhere) than "How many sexual partners should a man have?" things, because straight men don't have to worry about being considered sluts.
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howaminotmyself
Lifetime? That would depend on how long each relationship lasted. Sadly, people don't expect them to last so that would drive the number up. As well as the fact that couples often delay marriage until later in life, if at all, and that would increase the number as well.
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VioletTrees
Um, people have sex without having relationships, even women. SCANDALOUS
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howaminotmyself
Obviously women have sex outside relationships. But over a lifetime, the number of relationships is a good starting point. And sometimes women are raped. And sometimes they are groped on a crowded bus. Do we want to count those as sexual encounters as well? What about the ones who get really drunk, black out, and forget what thy did. Can't really count those.
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VioletTrees
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howaminotmyself
No, I said sexual encounter. When trying to count sexual partners you need an indicator of what you mean by partner, I used relationship. But you dismissed that as if I didn't acknowlede one night stands. That is still a relationship, if even only a 30 min one. So I pointed out the trouble with vague terms. Sorry I wasn't more clear about it. Would you like to misunderstand me again?
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VioletTrees
Oh, sorry, I understand now. When you talked about the length of relationships, I thought we were talking more along the lines of two weeks and up. I usually consider one night stands to just be sexual encounters, particularly if no one involved has any intention of having an ongoing relationship, while to me, the term relationship indicates some desire for romantic connection beyond just sex. I guess that's kind of an arbitrary distinction within my own head, though. But that's why I was confused.
Since I didn't consider that you were considering one night stands to be relationships, I interpreted your next reply to be a comparison of casual sex to sexual assault in terms of not counting as sexual partners, which I found offensive, since conflating non-consensual encounters with consensual encounters is obviously problematic. I understand what you meant now, though, so we're good.
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[Old Memory]
I think a woman should experience as much of life's gifts as possible. If that means she found one partner and only want that one, great. If she prefers variety and want a different partner each week, then...good for her. So my answer is, unlimited.
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VioletTrees
I find the numbers for the categories kind of low. I'm not saying that there shouldn't be an option for "no more than 5" or "no more than 10", but it's strange that there's no "no more than 20" option. I wouldn't have picked it, mind, because the number of people other people fuck is nobody's business. This is a case, I think, where the concept of normality is both unimportant and potentially harmful. There's no magic number of hookups that where you suddenly turn into a slut. Have consensual sex with whoever you want to, be safe, and keep your morals out of my vagina.
PS: The two people who answered "one" can lick my glorious cunt.
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Francophile22
The era in question is the great determinant. Before 1960 if she'd said more than one, she'd have been labeled the town slut.
Nowadays, from what you read here and elsewhere plus personal life, it seems that most women by 21 have had about 25 guys.
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jammydodger
in my experiance girls who have had more sexual encounters are more comfortable with sex and exploring... girls that have only had a few stay hung up on the seriousness of it... personally i would rather be with a girl thats slept with 300 men than just 1.
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Angel_in_a_Glass_Dress
Any number is normal
Cos... I kinda lost count. Those one-night-stands were FUN though. And if you count cybersex then I REALLY got no fucking idea.
These days tho it's just one man for me. well him... and my own fingers/mouth/tongue of course...
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dappled
Depends how old the woman is. I bet an 80 year old woman will have had fewer partners than an 18 year old woman would expect to.
Depends on religion, too. And country. And her own moral compass.
Anyway, for the UK, all kinds of answers for you here:
http://observer.guardian.co.uk/sex/story/0,,818356,00.html
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andreth
really? I would expect that the 80-year-old would have much more time and opportunity. what if she was married twice and the 18-year-old is still a virgin? :P
anyways,i asked for peoples *personal opinion*. what would YOU consider normal? 100 is OK?
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Angel_in_a_Glass_Dress
Although... keep in mind, the 80 year olds may have had more "chance" the ones of today also came from a time when multiple partners was more discouraged.
So in 60 years or so, how the 80 year olds vote may change, based on how they lived.
I mean personally I was also a virgin at 18, but I'm also pretty sure I've had more partners than my mother, grandmother, & great grandmother combined. And that's not even counting online sexual encounters.
This is why I don't feel there is a number. As we become more open about sexual desires that number changes.
So the amount of partners one's had sex with may be very different at my age, or younger... compared to the age of someone who was alive during WW2.
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dappled
I think you missed something in my reply. I said "than an 18 year old woman would expect to". It was the "expect to" bit that was important. In the context of the question, the expectation is for a lifetime.
My personal opinion is about 7 or 8, but it's a bad answer.
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andreth
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Mando
I'm not so sure. The 80 year old "back then" would have been heading into the sexual revolution, advent of oral contraception, free love, swinging sixties etc. era while the 18 year old today is heading into a post HIV world were many kids are going to live at home till they're 30. I'd just say its a draw at best but I'd wager on granny if I had to. Aside from that and younger people always thinking they're way sexier than previous generations (ha), people don't change all that much.
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bananaface