How many relationships are truely monogamous?

79% Normal
3 Comments

I am gay. I am in a relationship which is only about 18 months old. I love my partner to death and by no means want to be with anyone else, however I find myself constantly eyeing up other guys especially in the gym or where there is a bit of flesh on show! My last relationship broke down because I started to play away and I have made a ‘note to self’ that I can't allow that to happen again. I don't want to have to deal with telling lies and living with guilt caused from all of that. The temptation though is sometimes really strong and I am worried that I will at some point give in to it and do something naughty with someone else. I would hate it if I felt he was having a play with other fella's, so I don't want to seem like a total hypocrypt.
Am I normal?
Is Monogamy normal in any relationship be it gay or straight?

Voting Results
79% Normal
Based on 39 votes (31 yes)
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Comments ( 3 )
  • derp
    12 years ago | pl

    I don't understand the urge to want to have sex with people, especially strangers, simply based on physical attractiveness. I've never had a problem with monogamy on the level of having some sort of fling or anything. Sometimes people fall in love with others while being in a relationship, but I think that's different than what you are talking about. You love your current partner, but still have the urge to have meaningless sex with others. To me, that's not normal but I am not a gay male. However, I know several gay men and some of them have the same problem as you. I don't want to endorse the negative stereotype than gay men aren't monogamous. You need to have self control and don't give in to lust. It's not fair to your partner if you cheat on him, and will only hurt you both.
    I think that if you are lucky enough to have one person to love and love you back, then that should be enough, it's selfish to want more.

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    • [Old Memory]
      12 years ago

      Yeah well I'm also male but straight and I think there are two groups...the one who love only one at the same time and rlly just the only one... and the other group who love their partner but are also attracted to others... Yeah I belong to the 2nd group is all I can say... I'm not only attracted to one but I ignore the feelings to others cuz I don't want to be attracted to another girl just because her look... but I definitely am... It's kinda annoying cuz I wanna be troy to my gf's but it's hard 4 me... I think there are many males thinking this way, aren't there?

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  • Blackwargreymon
    12 years ago

    I'm male, not gay and I find the notion of only being able to love one person at a time rediculous!

    Sure if you are a slave to society's stigma's then yeah I can understand how one 'can' only love one person or better imagine to only love one.

    How many people stay with one person all their life? Now say you at least love two people after eachother then you still love MORE THAN ONE person. Maybe not at the same time, but that is not so different.

    Soms people just don't supress their feelings. Some people don't have to do what other people say what should be done.

    So yeah it is normal, not exclusive to gays and I've always been honest with my partner. I just ask her if it is ok to go on a date with them. That always worked for me.

    (Just to add: I think jumping to the conclusion that it is a gay thing kind of indicates in what degree people are slaves of a society's stigma's.)

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