How many nurses does it take to shave a fella's ball sack?

9 Comments

I was in hospital getting a vasectomy reversed, a 5hr micro surgery operation. Doc comes in and gives a nurse instructions to shave my balls. Using unwashed hands and without gloves, manhandles the ol'fella to the side and traced where he wants the badger bald. Exit doc and nurse. Enter the ball sack shavettes. Bloody hell, the situation is rather embarrassing, every follicle was meticulously removed, examined and felt for smoothness, all very so very tenderly, I couldn't help barring up. At first, I repeated the mantra 'dog's vomit, dog's vomit' and 'fat pommy step mother naked, fat pommy step mother naked' to no avail. Ah WTF, there's no saving my dignity, so 'fark it', I thought, 'mose well enjoy it'. I wished I could tell you I ejaculated, all over the shop, in their hands, hair and faces but alas, I just couldn't get there, as hard as I tried. Through the entire experience, I kept having this thought, 'FArk me, How many nurses does it takes to shave a fella's balls'? And I shit you not, they were all stunning (Being a famous cosmetic hospitals, perhaps it's an employment prerequisite). Oh, I almost forgot, apparently the official number of nurses required to shave a fella's ball sack is §.

It's only a 1 nurse job 6
2 (1 working the tool and the other being the ball handler) 5
3 (+ 1 sub on the bench, ready to dive in) 1
4 (+1 sack spreader for balmy conditions) 1
5 (umpire to ensure everyone gets a fair shot) 4
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Comments ( 9 )
  • Wendell
    11 years ago

    One if they're Mexican but they'll use a lawnmower.

    Two if they're Polish, one to shave you and one to bury you after it fails.

    Zero if they're French because the French don't shave.

    One if they're Jewish but they'll cut your cock as well.

    One if they're blonde, but she'll try to use scissors.

    Sorry it all sounded like a joke to me.

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    • wigsplitz
      11 years ago

      3 if they're Polish. 1 to hold his sac taut, one to hold the razor firm and steady and the other to work the controls to move the hospital bed up and down.

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      11 years ago

      I like your sense of humour but a little degrading to the blonde. She would have used her teeth.

      Its was as funny as a gasoline pump. The after effects weren't so funny as to goolies swelled to grape fruit size, egg plant colour and texture of rotten passion fruit. My slong made like a turtle and hid from sight for a week out of fright. He handled it really well until I look at a photo of my nuts and "SLOOK" my cock did an instant retreat into an orifice I didn't know existed.

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      • DandyElfman
        10 years ago

        Where did you learn to spell? What is "fark"?

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    • DandyElfman
      10 years ago

      This is totally racist but I could not help but laugh.

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  • Anonymous Post Author
    10 years ago

    Unfortunately, there has to be a rematch. This time I won't be bombarding my thoughts with "dogs vomit, dogs vomit, fat arsed evil step-mother naked, fat arsed evil step-mother naked". Might as well go with the flow and test their skill under harder conditions.

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  • Anonymous Post Author
    11 years ago

    Apparently the officially required number of nurses to undertake this task is 5.

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  • Avant-Garde
    11 years ago

    It seems to me that only one or two would do.

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  • ForeverAChild
    11 years ago

    One. Maybe two.

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