How long to wait to ask a girl out after she breaks up with someone?

5 Comments

If you've seen my previous post (from a while ago, admittedly) I've had a crush on my best friend for a while now (like, 10 years off and on). She's 24, I'm 25. The problem is, through out that time, one of us has always been in a relationship, or we've lived a long ways apart. 10 months ago, I moved to within driving distance of her. She still had a boyfriend, and I'm not the type to butt in and cause problems. I took the advice some of you who commented on my last post and just tried to be a really good friend (not that this was hard, she is a very pleasant person). Last night, she broke up with her boyfriend of 3 years. I'm very biased obviously, I've always thought of him as kind of a looser, so hearing that made my day. How long is a respectful amount of time to wait before asking her out? I'm seeing her a week and a half from now just FYI.

Soon as possible 9
Wait a month 10
Wait two months 2
Longer... 1
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Comments ( 5 )
  • KingTermite
    8 years ago

    If you're this smitten with her and you've known it for all these years it's likely she's known it as well. If nothing has ever happened you're probably squarely in the friend-zone. So at this point there's really nothing to lose by going all in and just talking to her about it. At best your bond of friendship will be stronger and you may have a chance to get the relationship you want, at worst you'll know where you stand. Ten years is much too long to remain in doubt I think you need closure on this issue.

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  • NathanScot
    8 years ago

    Tricky tricky aye, If you go to her now she will most probably agree but you will probably be just a rebound. To be frank mate 10 yrs without her even suggesting anything doesnt bode well for you.But a man must do what a man must do,..give her time to get her ex out of her system say like till december then ask her out.I reckon its quite irritating not knowing if she feels the same way.Cheers'

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  • Terrik1337
    8 years ago

    Oh, forgot to mention. After she broke up with him I'm the first person she texted, at 4:30am. This break up was a long time coming and while she may not have been OK at the time, I think she's happy about it. She has also mentioned to my little sister (also a good friend of hers) that I would probably be the easiest person in the world to date. If I'm interpreting this right, she is opening herself up for a relationship with me. The real question here is do I immediately swoop in and risk her residual emotions for her ex ruining things, or do I wait and risk ACTUALLY being friend zoned. We are both INTJs BTW. Neither of us will ever pick up on our feeling towards each other unless we actually say it.

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  • bleach_baby
    8 years ago

    how about, instead of setting some arbitrary timeframe, you try to pick up on any signals and whether she seems responsive to your advances - and then ask her out if she is?

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  • thegypsysailor
    8 years ago

    It depends on what you want from the relationship. If it's just rebound sex, don't wait at all. If you want a ltr, then she has to get the rebound shit out of the way, but she might hook up with someone else.
    I'd let her come to me. If she doesn't then you know where you stand, right?

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