How long to wait before sex?

You are whats called in todays society as a pervert. There's nothing sexually positive about using a girl for sex. You may not realise it but your "healthy" attidude is a bit twisted.
Prostitues are possibly a better choice for someone as odd as you.

It sounds like your in it just for the sex. The best answer I can give you is to bypass this whole stupid "dating" stuff and go straight for prostitutes. They are usually cheaper than dinner and a movie, they won't waste your time and they always put out.

Dude you should just sit her down and ask her about it, yes it will be always but this seems important to you. And if you are really willing to give up on a perfect person because of no sex then you are a f****** pig! I mean really just get a prostitute or something. It's not that hard.

You can't think of any good reasons she would want to wait? Intelligent women know of plenty of good reasons.

For example, unless you or the woman is completely infertile for some reason, pregnancy is always a possibility. No contraceptive is 100%% effective. Intelligent women know that.

Personally, I like sex as much as the next woman, but I will not do it unless/until I have reason to believe the guy would be able to handle it if there's a pregnancy or at least not get in the way of what I would choose to do about it. And that's just one of the issues to get out of the way. It can take time to know a guy well enough to determine these things.

Women who wait are often just being careful to avoid terrible consequences. There's a lot more risk involved for us. However a couple chooses to deal with an unplanned pregnancy, the woman is the one who has to go through all the physical discomfort it involves. It really isn't wise to assume that there's something wrong with every girl who wants to be cautious. I'm trying real hard not to rant toooo long here.

Why don't you try asking her what her real reasons for waiting are, and give her the benefit of the doubt? You'd probably get more action if you tried being more understanding anyway.

First date...between the main course and dessert.

I only read a little of your story but just ask her. Done

i see no problem with sleeping with a guy on a first date buy some girls think its sl*tty. she might be one of those girls. so talk to her about it but try to be genital about the subject. she might want to wait till marriage or she might like you a lot and doesn't want to complicate the relationship. i say wait till the 4th or 5th date if you still haven't gone to the next step then talk to her about it.

I had to wait 9 month with my girlfriend and now we've been together for 3 years so dont get stressed about it normally the easier a girl is to give it up the less she thinks about it and soon enough you get a situation like i only kissed him its just a kiss it means nothing then i only fucked him believe me i know the ones that want to make you wait are the good ones

I am a very sexual person as well but because someone doesn't want to jump right into bed with someone doesn't make them a bad person or not have a good reason (not that they need one). Maybe she wants to build that foundation of getting to know who you truly are. Maybe she is cautious because you seem to exude having slept with multiple people and questions if you were using protection. Maybe you're putting too much pressure on her and that's a total turn off. Ladies seem to like being treated like ladies, opening doors, pulling out chairs, told they look nice, notice the different hair styles, new outfit, regular calls, etc. If you treat someone nicely and with sincerity they tend to value those things and open up more sexually. A physical bond is very important but its not the whole thing.

when u married... duhhhh!

To be honest your meant to be with people for there personality and not because they won't have sex with you yet. You both need to talk, it may be something she needs help with (especially if she has problems with sex)

it depends on how much you're wearing as i dont like getting my clothes too sweaty, but can remove them all in about 30 secs (35 if my coat is done up)

wait till your atleast 20 or better if your married

Interesting comments about this subject. I agree with Siuan. I personally don't think there is an exact number of dates to wait for. The reason I say that is because each girl is different. Sex is supposed to be about love, but apparently to you, this is NOT the case. For you that is fine. For the girl it may not be. It sounds like you need to find a slutty girl who will jump your bones after the first or second date in order to make you happy. Guess you are going to have to keep trying until you find that girl. Be careful of diseases and pregnancy. Most girls who give it up so fast have baggage and if you are willing to take that on just for sex, then I say good luck to you. I'm surprised at how little you think of women but how much you expect. You'll catch more flies with honey!

To the original poster: I TOTALLY agree with you! Sex is a VERY important part of a dating relationship and if a girl is reluctant to have sex, then YOU NEED TO MOVE ON TO SOMEONE WHO WILL! Being a guy, I totally understand what you mean. If she hasn't given you sex by the third date, then you need to start to wonder. The absolute limit should be the 5th date. You don't mention in your post how long you have dated her. But if it has been the 5th date and still nothing, give up on her; she's not worth wasting your time on! (yes, I am totally serious on what I just said....I myself have never let it go past the 5th date without sex. Beyond that, she's a waste of your time. If that sounds shallow, so be it!). I would be very interested in hearing your response to my post here, as I think I have been one of the more honest posters here.

I totally agree w/ you and just hope that ppl don't tear you into pieces for stating the obvious.

would u rather start a relationship with a girl who jumps in 2 bed with u straight away? how do u no she wont just jump in 2 bed with another guy while ur 2gdr? u dont mind ur girlf bein a slag? i dnt tnk u want a rel8 .. i tnk u just want sex so stop DATING n go sumwhr where sex is strictly on the table..

never...theres already an arseload of sick kids in this world...don't risk getting pregnant.

dude i agree with you, i went with a girl for 3 months and we never did anything and that killed me inside cause i was at the point i needed to have sexx or i would explode so i broke up with her. there is nothing wrong for sex being a big deal in a relatioship as i highly regard it as being one of the main points in a relationship.

My bf waited for me 2 years but I was 14 when we started to date. There are lots of things which you can do before "real" sex.. ;-)

Perv

If you haven't reached 1st or 2nd base by the 3rd date move on, unless your 14 of course..

Obviously your sex drive is alot higher than hers, and its hard hold off without temptations and well most of the time temptations over power "I like this girl" feelings..
*shrugs*
then again talking to her about it would save you alot of trouble.

Seventeen (c) Chef (Southpark)

Wow! I'm amazed at the diversity of opinions here!

Ollieo, the reason behind a "dating put-out time," as you put it, is so that I don't end up waiting 9 months, like anabolic! How anyone could wait that long is beyond me.

I'm sure I would kick loose on the first date any girl who told me to wait until we got married; or suggested I get a prostitute instead; or talked about being a "good girl," without having a smirk on her face. Actually, I don't think I've ever gone on a date with such a girl. Do I somehow manage to screen them out ahead of time? Or is their presence here just an Internet thing? The female comments on here definitely seem pretty one-sided.

Suiuan, however, does raise a good point. This didn't even occur to me, as I've always held the belief that abortion is the proper course of action in such a situation. I guess I had briefly forgotten that some people hold differing views.

It seems the only poster who is on the same page as me is sidknee. In fact, he's the only one who answered my original question! And, he suggested 3 to 5 dates.

Why is nearly everyone else so troubled by setting limits? It seems to me that women set limits all the time, so why not men?

You could, gently and politely broach the subject of your romantic feelings.

But that you write as if there is a dating:put-out time formulae says:
i) you are just horny
ii) you don't know much about relationships.

And since your date may sense this, you could be waiting a looong time.

Well,
1. You don't want to hurt her feelings.
2. You don't want to break up (do you?)
So, I would talk with her & ask if she wants to "do it."

Hope it gets better for you
Black Frost

don't be such an @$$. She really should wait. It's what good girls do.

First option is to talk to her about how she feels about sex, maybe you're coming on too strong... I have no idea though. If you aren't coming on strong then maybe you're not coming on strong enough... if it is too much trouble then move on shes a dead end. No one is worth troubling yourself over to get sex from. Don't let her control you sexually either. Women sometimes think they are the only pilots in the plane... when the you can fly your own plane... or get another co-pilot. If you don't get sex after the third to fifth date then move on. Don't waste your time or emotional energy.

Depends. how long has it been?

One of the most common way for people to screw up their new relationships is to have sex too soon. Ideally, wait for marriage. If you can't do that, at least wait until you have made a sincere commitment to get married. Anything else is just f***ing around.