How long should it really take to get connected?

I just moved from one major city in the north to a major city in the south. I've been here slightly over a year now. I held down one job during that time over a few months, and currently am without (im sure someone reading this feels my pain on this, seems to be alot of that around these days). I just recently started school at the local community college. In terms of social life, I've gone out to some places and met a few people here and there, but really only to the extent that a person starting from scratch with no prior contacts could. I've made some acquaintances, but not anyone I'd call a really solid "friend", ie someone who I can see and hang out with on a regular basis. I'm a very social person, so I generally feel more comfortable when I'm around friends. So..... is it normal for me to have lived here this long and still not really have a solid set of relationships yet, platonic or romantic? I know without question that I am a likeable, funny, good-looking guy, but for some reason it seems like I just dont really have many friends here yet, and spend the weekends either home alone, or going out alone. Is this normal after a year?????? Also, any advice on what I can do as a new guy in a new city to make new friends? (I'm 25, male, and moved to Austin if this helps).

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62% Normal
Based on 34 votes (21 yes)
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Comments ( 1 )
  • Alaskaraven

    Hey Austin, I am so sorry for you. Unfortunately, it is a guy thing. My sons [all of them] have always been embarrassed that I talk to ppl everywhere I go- and guess what? I know EVERYONE. Or they know me.

    As you may know, women talk about the most intimate things with total strangers- because most us can relate to whatever the other is going through, and the older we get, the less we care, the more radical, the 'free-er' we are -- ask your mom. Feels nice to be so confident.

    You men are much more guarded, more formal, always worried about appearing 'gay' or weird. The thing is, what can they do to you?

    I would try 2 things.
    1> Go to the grocery store, or anywhere you have to stand in line. Talk to the person near you- likely a woman is the one that will talk back.

    2> Go to a sports bar, comment on whatever the guy next to you is watching, and after a couple of beers, tell the bartender to get him one too. Don't act overly friendly, hit the bathroom so he doesn't feel the need to talk or feel awkward about having to thank you, then stay casual when you get back.

    Making friends with even one person can lead to many others- women will connect you to their bros, hubby, her friends, etc after a friendship is established. Women especially like to feel they are doing a nice thing by hooking someone up w/ friends- she will MAKE her hubby widen out his circle. You guys have to decide from there.

    Men will also have more guys to hang with, just don't be shy. I wish I was there, would have massive ppl to talk to in less than a week for you.

    Good luck--

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