How do you think i should interpret this apology?

This was sent to me via email from a guy I have not spoken to in ten years. We were very close, but suddenly drifted apart when he moved out of the country. He does not know where I live anymore or even my phone number, so an in-person apology would not have been possible.

"I have no exuse and will not give you one,you deserve better than that all I can ask for is forgiveness I never stopped thinking about you all those years,I just didn't know how to say I was sorry forgive me.I still consider you one of my dearest friends and always will."

Is this sincere? This was all that was written.

No, it's not at all sincere 1
No, probably not. 2
I can't tell if it's sincere either. 7
Yes, but he should tell you again in person. 15
Yes, he's a good friend just reaching out to an old friend. 34
Yes, he's more than sincere, he's hot for you. 14
I have another suggestion, which I'll leave below. 2
I like to be difficult, so I'm not picking one, but really I am. 4
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Comments ( 26 )
  • VikingWolf

    The fact he said that after ten years tells me that you must mean something to him.
    He might be testing the waters to see if you are still out there or if he can come back.
    Ten years ago:
    It was possible he was scared of commitment and now that he has sown wild oats and seen it was a fruitless endeavor, he might be willing to try and make it right with you. Might even be willing, if you are, of course, to make that commitment with you.
    See where it goes. At the very least, you will get to learn about what he's been up to for the past ten years.

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    • Ten years ago, it was a misunderstanding that drove him into the arms of another woman, who he married a short time later. They are divorced now, but he has a girlfriend right now and she's pregnant.

      Even if we wanted to be together, we couldn't.

      But we can be friends.

      Thanks for your terrific input. I appreciate it.

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      • VikingWolf

        Okay then, you took my advice and saw what the heck he was up to. And even if it didn't turn out like you or I might have thought, at least you have peace of mind knowing what happened.
        I hope you do get to be friends with him and I am glad I was able to help.

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  • lisac1919

    why wouldnt it be sincere if he hasnt seen you in ten years? he would hav nothing to gain

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    • I'm trying to understand his motives, is all.

      I'm glad that you think this. It makes sense.

      He also wrote several times that he misses me, which surprised me.

      But he's a guy and it's been my experience that when guys speak about feelings to a woman, it's just lip-service.

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    • abominus566

      i would say the same, and since he wants to be friends too, if it had something to do with a realationship i would not take that sinse to me that would sound to good to be true. if you know what i mean

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      • So you think that because he doesn't want a relationship with me that it's a legit apology? I didn't quite understand.

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        • abominus566

          No i think he wants one, the fact that he says he is going to give no excuses for what ever happened between you two, shows that he's sincere if he gave any then it woud not be. after reading it it looked like a very sincere apoplogy.

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  • 4392Moron

    I would take it as a sincere apology. Maybe the poor fella felt so badly about moving out of country, and having your relationship drift slowly into the "SUNSET" that he could not mustard up the courage to apologise to you, and maybe felt a tad embarrassed, and did not know at the time what he had done until he thought about it and said to himself "OH HOLY SHIT" what have I done and had good second thoughts and really wanted to make amends with you. Remember, nobody is perfect, we all make "BOO-BOOS" and if you still like him at all you would accept his apology and corresspond to one another at a regular basis and find out what went hay wire betwixt the two of you and then wipe the slate clean and start and establish a new closer friendship. :D

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    • I do still like him, but we are both in relationships right now, so nothing except friendship can come of it.

      I told him that I forgive him.

      In another one of my comments, below, I've explained the situation a little more, if you're interested.

      Thank you for your advice.

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  • sounds like he's just admitting he was wrong, but nothing more if he didnt ask you to contact him back.

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  • pohoyou

    Sounds sincere to me. over the years, people mature and really appreciate the best times of life. as you mention he has a child on the way, thinking responsibly if you two get to be together or something, the only affected could be that beautiful creature that is on the way, well that's my point of view. hope this helps...cheer up. =)

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  • 1982??

    It sounds sincere, but it also sounds safe. If I was that sorry I think I would say a bit more.

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  • lease

    Thanks. We (collectively) don't fuck around. Well, maybe sometimes. But not on this.

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  • Shackleford96

    By reading your post, I feel like it was sincere. But, like others have already said, only you will truly know for sure.

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    • True. That's what I think too, but when it comes to matters of the heart, I don't feel like I can trust my own judgment. I want it to be sincere, but I also don't want to be duped. Everyone's reaction appears to be quite positive, so that's a good sign.

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  • lease

    So many people are quick to JUDGE!! People demand to know why he sent it - because it's not possible that the guy just meant what he wrote - he must have an ulterior motive?? ...bunch of half-whits!!

    The dude probably meant every word. He was probably planning on leaving the country before he met you - or had a visa that was expiring - or something, but he really came to like you - and was unable to fully explain himself. Perhaps he was military?

    Any guy that drops life-changing plans in order to pursue a love interest is a FOOL. Romantic, perhaps, but certainly a fool. Any girl that expects it is an even bigger fool. So, it sounds like you both accepted what had to be done at the time. I'm 100% confident that his apology is sincere. If you still have feelings and are able, you should absolutely see what might be. I promise you that a TRUE love or friend is not lessened by distance, nor time apart.

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    • Thanks. You last sentence rings true.

      I was worried that he might have been flippant about it, I find it difficult to gauge sincerity on the internet.

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  • wigsplitz

    He was probably up late at night, drunk, trolling the internet....that doesn't mean it couldn't have been at least partly sincere. People tend to do out of the blue stuff like this when they're bored, up late and drunk. Also, possibly combine tis with perhaps something happening in his life recently, like a break-up or a dried up love life or even a religious or scary experience.

    I know it sounds negative, I'm just giving you the answer that came to me first. I could be completely wrong, it's just soemthing worth considering IMO.

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    • He contact me via Facebook and the apology was given in the afternoon. He divorced 3 years ago and has a pregnant girlfriend now.

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  • Wow. I am enjoying all these good answers. Thank you all. :)

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  • Just_Another_Soul

    it sounds like one of those moments where the guy had his priorities above you but now that they've run dry, he's going back to you as a rebound to any girls/troubles/shit he's gotten himself into. men are scum, i know because i am one. :D

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    • disthing

      Some men are good. I know because I aspire to be one of those 'some men' :D

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      • Just_Another_Soul

        no doubt, i aspire to be one of those as well... i'm just giving a light-hearted response. but yeah i'd say "SOME" men are scum

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        • Yes, some are. That's why I wanted a greater opinion than just my own. I don't have anyone else that I can ask about this.

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    • Really, a rebound? He was married, but he got a divorce about 3 years ago (heard it through the grapevine). He has a pregnant girlfriend right now too.

      We were super tight friends from age 18-26. He treated me just like he would a girlfriend, but we never kissed or had sex. There was sexual tension at times, but we always respected the friendship more.

      I think we may have ended up together, except that there was a misunderstanding one night: he thought I had sex with his creepy uncle (I didn't, I'm not like that), we didn't speak for a few weeks and next thing I know, he's hooked up with some girl he met at a bar, they married a year later.

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